Looking your best as you approach 40...

[dontcryitsonlyajoke]

So I've got a year to go to my 40th. My 30s has been all about huge changes - physical, emotional and career - due to 4 pregnancies, 3 babies, 3 years of breastfeeding and associated weight loss and gain.

The birth of my youngest a year ago brought unbelievable sleep deprivation and has aged my face significantly. I used to look young for my age but I look every day of my 39 years now!

I want to hit my 40s in a much better frame of mind - it's going to be the selfish decade where I reclaim a lot of "me".

So I want your tips on how to get myself looking and feeling better. The baby steps I've made so far are:

1. Good cleanse/serum/moisturise routine in place for the last 2 years but nothing more - no variants beyond my morning and night routine
2. finally found a hairstyle that suits and I think I can keep
3. started filing and clear varnishing my bitten-for-30-years nails so they're starting to look better (though still very weak
4. 2 litres of water most days
5. good exercise routine

What else would you suggest I do?

dontcryitsonlyajoke - good work, keep going, you are similar size as me, I was size 14 at xmas but lost 2 stone this year as I realised it was making me feel miserable, couldn't get into any of my clothes and was refusing to buy size 16!. Did low carb and lots of gym, and no alcohol for three months!!. Feel much better although I think it does show in my face. Still, I prefer that to back boobs, spare tyre and nothing that fits.

Now, anyone know how to sort jowls??

I would take some evening primrose/cod liver oil capsules, just to get some good fats in your system. I find that taking them really makes my skin look good.
Keeping eyebrows neat and pale pink gel nails makes a big difference I think (I'm a recent convert to the nails but I LOVE them - so neat and they last three weeks!)
Yearly makeover at Bobbi Brown or Laura Mercier - just to get a new lipstick or eyeshadow technique.
I'd love to get my teeth straightened and whitened - not sure if I can afford that though

I am 47 . Since doing the carline Hirons stuff in April my skin has improved dramatically. I use retin A acid tone etc etc. thanks to this thread though I have bought some of the lip stuff and hylamide sub Q eye. My thin anyway lips look crap now, even thinner and I have horrid under eye circles. Thanks for the tip about the double discount using top cash back. I will have got about £ who of the whole order!
My neck is still taut, I think this is to do with doing exercises that happen to involve working the neck inadvertently, like sit ups.

splodge All I can suggest for jowls is to ditch dangly earrings, scarves, high necks and anything else that draws the eye to your jawline. Not perfect but it helps. Someone else may be able to advise on surgery but personally I draw the line at scalpels around the throat area.

splodge fillers work for sogginess by lifting the face like scaffolding.. Before I had fillers I was getting jowls etc.. I started with a little filler in the cheeks and it just lifts the whole face.. Then a little filler in other areas helps even more.. I was so happy when I got my first cheek filler -'I'd been so depressed, felt like my face was slowly spliding off!! The results were fabulous and instantaneous

I believe they work for sagginess too

Thanks pomegran. Will be investing in Retin A shortly!

i think once one hits 40, you have to be really well turned out.
being scruffy and grungy is fine when you're 22 and pretty. not such a good look when you're 40 and still pretty, but no longer 22.
likewise that boho hippie, floaty look can have a tendency to make one look, well........ witchy.

i'm over 40 and i try to maintain:
a decent haircut
shoulder-length hair. short hair does nothing for me at this age. likewise, very long hair drags my face.
natural looking make up. unfortunately i'm not good looking enough to go without make-up.
clean, ironed, well kept classic clothes.
a decent weight. its hard though. trying to get back to 10 stone. i'm just under 11. but cant be 9 stone because it'll make me look gaunt.
a shower every single day to look fresh.
clean, well looked after teeth.
staying off the fags. gave up 5 years ago and very glad i did.

I'm often described as glamorous. This makes me laugh. Afaik that means make up. Hair. Nails. Some thought into clothes. Accessories. That's it really.

Underneath I feel 9 wearing school shoes with my party dress.

I agree that scruff doesn't hack it. That doesn't mean you need to confirm to Surrey bankers wife or sport labels. You just need to look clean. And ironed.

Actually I disagree about 40 being that big a deal. Obviously, you're not getting any younger and it's time to start taking more care (if you're bothered) but I don't think it demands a major style overhaul. It may be a watershed mentally but in terms of your appearance, I really don't think so.

It's the the menopause, not your calendar age that's the biggie. That's when you really begin to see changes in your body shape, skin, hair etc.

So relax you've probably got a few more years yet

I've just started laser treatment for pigmentation, age spots, facial thread veins and to just generally freshen up and even out my complexion. Can see some improvements after just one treatment, so I'm hopeful that it will produce good results.

I already get Botox for my 11s and have had fillers once for my nose to mouth lines (which has lasted about 2 years and been brilliant). I know I'm about 3-4 months off investigating fillers in my cheeks and about 9-12 months off an eye lift. I'm 44 and ageing fast and feeling really very despondent about it quite frankly.

I'd agree with fitted rather than floaty clothes, needing to be a bit cleaner / tidier than 10 years ago (45 here), and also taking care not to be too thin. The latter also good from a health POV of course.

My Nan looked fabulous well into her 80s - in our wedding pix she's wearing a tailored light grey wool skirt suit with a silk blouse, far more flattering than the flowery dresses that many older relatives were wearing.

Also, personally I think if you follow the 'fitted not floaty' rule, plus a good smart haircut, a lived in face is nothing to worry about.

Ha I'm too fat to wear fitted clothes! Love a bit of floatiness, me!

Just turned 40, and liking the idea of fitted, not floaty clothes. I think some of it has to do with attitude. I came at 40 with an idea to embrace it and treat myself, and making it all about 'me'. I am quite fearless when it comes to hair, I change the colour or style every two years, and currently have a peroxide crop. I think manicured short, pillar box red nails work really well at making your whole look more groomed. I think part of getting older is accepting, and working with what you have. I had long, fine hair, that dragged me down. Once I accepted I needed a haircut that worked with my hair type, and went for it, I received more compliments than I had in my life. I do need to do more exercise, I am trying to drink more water and eat better food too.

Ive about 6 months left of my thirties and have so much to fix! need to lost a fair few stone but fear the ageing in my face if I do it too quickly!
My rough plan is to lose 4 stones in 6 months.
Drink 2l water every day
Get to bed by 10 on a week night and asleep by 11
Be more mindful and practise breathing to counteract the stresses in my life
Quality vs quantity - no more clothes from Evans etc ... would prefer less from Monsoon or similar
Continue to take my Floradix energy supplement (in tablet form)
Find a good hair growth method - ive literally torn mine out and its short and not at all nice

Stress and anxiety have a lot to answer for

I'm a bit older than you lot!! But since my mid 30's I've kept my hair a bit longer than shoulder length and have high and low lights and keep it in good condition

I have my eyebrows done every few weeks and make sure there is colour in them that is right for my skin tone

I keep my teeth in good condition.

I have my makeup done at Mac twice a year to keep up with trends and colors that suit me.

I just need to get a handle on my weight then I won't be so bad!!

I'm just checking back in with a new name as I can't reset my password and I do not want to lose you lot.

Facial exercise.

Can you link 7? Does it work?

Any tips on what to do with really crap hair?

My face is too white/blue/yellow for my reddish/blonde shoulder length hair these days. I'm 39, I look like a wrinkly old crone from the front and a young girl with a ponytail from the back particularly since I usually dress like a scruffy 15 year old on a camping holiday. If it's cut really short I look half bald, cut long-short it just looks dirty. Worn long, it's too thin to cut a fringe, looks crap if left out because there's not enough of it, in a ponytail it looks scraped back even though it isn't.

(Where I live, the emancipated solution to crap hair among women over 50 seems to be embrace your inner 17 year old punk, dye it green and purple and gel it into spikes. Wear this with rainbow-coloured handknitted jerseys, more piercings than all your kids have combined, talk about cricket and politics loudly while out walking your suit-wearing accountant son's dog/child. Get raised eyebrows from the dour and censorious older generation who still wear suits and ties to catch the bus into town to go to the shops. While this solution has a certain fabulousness to it, I'm not really ready for that yet...)

Am late 40s here.
My thoughts are similar to Marys
Groomed, clean, ironed.
For me
Water
Exercise
Gradual tan
Good make up, Chanel Vitalumiere aqua foundation, benefit Gimme Brow,Chanel or Bobbi Brown lipstick,Chanel Les Beiges,Estee Lauder eyeliner, mascara.

Regular root touch ups,lowlights and trim.

For me a neutral based simplified wardrobe of brands that I know work for my lifestyle shape and colouring, so White Company, Whistles, Mint Velvet, Autograph,Boden (plain )some Zara,Mango, Warehouse.
Am also liking Finery London and Great Plains a lot atm.

Sleep,try not to eat too much rubbish or drink too much.
I fail at the latter as I succumb to glass of white wine most nights unfortunately.

pom you need a decent hairdresser - I have one in Islington if you're close?

SarfEasticatedMumma I'm on the other side of the world unfortunately. Hairdressers here are quite good at dyeing unflattering colours, straightening, bleaching, filling with gunk, recommending truly 1980s makeup, etc.; but are apparently incompetent at actually cutting hair so it looks OK when it's clean and combed.

DH comes back from (various - we've tried all the ones in town) hairdressers looking like his hair has been chewed; I haven't bothered going in years because I can achieve a better result with kitchen scissors... i may not like my hair as it is, but at least it's not accidentally longer on one side than the other and full of hairspray and i haven't had to put up with some 17 year old wittering at me

Pombearpoopouffe - your name is making me smile as I remember both of those threads well!

Loving all the contributions here. As I come out of the haze of my baby-making years, I just want to be a slightly smarter, more cared for version of me. DC3 is 14mo and started sleeping well around his birthday after being an utter horror for about 9 months and just about tolerable for 3. I'm finally getting a bit more rest and a bit more time to myself, and need to say goodbye to that last toughest year of a generally tough 8 years! DH half jokingly refers to my current summer trousers as my baggy pantaloons - but he's right. I'm wearing loose baggy harem type crap that's too big for me as I haven't even had the energy to upgrade my summer wardrobe from last year's loose postpartum stuff . This needs to stop! TBH, the turning 40 thing is just a convenient year in which to get my act together for an arbitrary deadline that I'm
Actually looking forward to. My 30s have been amazing, but knackering and hard and I need to move on from them physically and mentally.

This thread is helping me in both of those