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Though She Be Crepey, She Is FIERCE!

999 replies

QueenQueenie · 26/07/2015 17:14

Ta Da!

OP posts:
beachyhead · 14/08/2015 11:57

'Lunchtime bike ride and making cookies' not a date! I have to keep dd2 out of the way.....

Auriga · 14/08/2015 12:22

Phone has eaten a couple of my posts with congratulations to Prince QQ & commiserations with Stropps. Molly's post about DD's accident & MI's about her bereaved friends reminds me to keep DD'S results in perspective. She's getting a little anxious, especially as some of her friends are disappointed in their AS and A levels.

On way to York with family, dog and DM. Lakes tomorrow. Will be thinking of you Rose, hope you get a break.

And Mrs S, sympathy re blender bite Sad Hope she's well enough to enjoy the French course

wordassociationfootball · 14/08/2015 17:06

Oh Rose....Flowers

And Stropps Flowers.

Thanks for thoughts. Back on frighteningly good form shoving money in slotties and ice cream in gob Blush. Dd1 and I picked up logs from a garage for a last night bonfire with our mates. Home tomorrow via lunch with cousin.

Rosebag · 14/08/2015 17:25

It's a date....otherwise why would you say it's not a date Grin

Lovely results beachy good on her!

Glad it's business as usual WAF and Brian is out to grass.

I have made it to Sussex. DM has only called me four times. I am keeping calm and carrying on. Hmm DH and DS are on the train arriving later. DS is now at the busy, busy stage...filling in forms for remarks etc. he is formulating A Plan. I think it will mean gritting teeth through Spanish, continuing with Franch and RE and pursuing music via the grades with his piano teacher as the Unis do accept grade 7 theory in place of A2 music. He can also still audition via video for a tuition scholarship at certain Unis if he's grade eight performance standard if he's of a mind to. We will see. I am truly hoping we can start to celebrate a bit and that he will stop lamenting what he thinks are his failures....

Hang on in there stropps A plan will emerge. Xx

Auriga · 14/08/2015 18:25

Just heard Aloha on the radio. Apparently white boyfriend jeans have been 'huge' this summer. Who knew?

More traffic jams

WAF glad you're better. And beachy well done to DD

CointreauVersial · 14/08/2015 18:36

Auriga - I luffs my white jeans, summer or winter. Commiserations on the traffic - it was bad enough getting home from work at 4pm. DS is still en route to Wales with GF six hours after setting off.

DH has just come home in great spirits. He was even more cheered when I handed him a box of Salted Caramel Crunch Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers I spotted in Budgens earlier. Grin The box has his name all over it.....

motherinferior · 14/08/2015 18:37

I hate packing.

cremolafoam · 14/08/2015 18:57

I have a pair of huge white jeans. Does that count?

Beachy two(2, ii) As Star ! Excellent, but I'd keep and eye on Aftershave Boy. I doubt he has cycling romantically and eating cookies in mind , if he bathed in Brut!Shock

Dh has excitingly come home from work and fallen asleep. Oh the joys of a busy week, hard work and too much driving. Time for a holiday I think. Hatty I do hope you are wrong about the French weather as I am yet to go. Another 10days before we set off. I fear the two of us will be so knackered we'll end up sleeping the entire three weeks. Ah well.

lalsy · 14/08/2015 19:07

I would like to shout at someone but dh isn't here.....would anyone like me to shout at theirs instead?

MI, that really does put things in perspective.

Molly, well done to your dd and I really hope you are now feeling better after the accident. You poor things Flowers.

Rose, so glad you got away, that sounds incredibly stressful. [dd carried on with a lower-graded subject to A2, dropping one she achieved more highly in at AS. I was very dubious but she was right - there was lots to consider, including enjoyment, but the devil was also in the detail of exactly which modules, remarks, whether content was incremental for retakes etc etc.]

Stropps, hang on in there and keep posting.

BD, and all exhausted, wrung out crepeys, have a good weekend. Ours includes ds arriving back from hol with mates and much family coming and going think I will go to bed a lot.

lalsy · 14/08/2015 19:08

Oooh Beachy, missed that, hurrah!

herbaceous · 14/08/2015 19:22

Lalsy, can you come and shout at mine? He's going on his navel-gazing sojourn on Sunday, and was all 'do you think I'm a bad person for leaving you and DS for a few days' to which I dare say I was supposed to say 'no darling', in soothing tones. He worked from home today, while I took DS off on yet another outdoor jaunt, so I expected him to want to hang out with DS when I got back. But no. He's gone to the pub. He went at 4.30, and isn't back yet. He will miss DS going to bed. And be annoyingly drunk and maudlin when he gets back.

I'm also all cross that I'm going to have to arrange swimming lessons for weekend mornings, and I'll always have to take DS as he doesn't drive and 'doesn't like swimming'. So that will be six out of seven days where I have to compromise my life/career for offspring while he remains entirely unaffected.

RAGE.

QueenQueenie · 14/08/2015 19:24

Thanks for the kind words re ds's achievement. I'm not allowed to speak of it in rl as aparently that's "soooo embaressing and cringe and it's not like it's a big deal..." so that's me told.

Well done on the results to Beachy's dd and Master Rose too as well as Mini Molly... and hope all the teen injuries are on the mend - ouch. Finger in blender makes me go all funny just reading it. Mrs S, you are clearly v good in a crisis!

Very pleased you got away Rose. We're off to East Angular tomorrow for a restful time in the rain. Am packing large quantities of books so won't care about the weather as long as I can manage the odd swim in the sea

Good weekends to all.

OP posts:
QueenQueenie · 14/08/2015 19:36

Bloody Hell Herbs.
I think deciding where the line between being kind and supportive and being a mug is sometimes a fine one... and I'm not saying what is the case here as I don't begin to know enough about your circs.
But even if dh needs soothing and sympathy right now why should you be the one to be landed with all the responsibility for evermore. In his more robust moments what would dh say if you asked him whether he thought this was fair?? Perhaps if he is off to navel gaze that could include thinking about how he can share responsibility re ds for the next 10+ years.
When I was working in my old career and childcare went tits up with no notice me and dh would have furious whispered rows about who was less able to take time off work. Terrible. Even when I stopped doing that and was much more available I had numerous commitments - it never ever occurred to dh to think that he should give any thought to the arrangements over half term etc. Grrrrrr. Now the teenagers are independent(ish) and thedog is my responsibility. Hmm Angry Hmm

OP posts:
herbaceous · 14/08/2015 19:41

It's all a bit tangled with me trying to work out what I'm going to do career-wise. It seems I can get as much supply teaching as I want, but by it's very nature I won't know when/where I'm needed until the Friday before, thus making it impossible/difficult to arrange childcare. Unless I just book DS into breakfast and after school club for every single day, at £10 a throw, and just not use it when I'm not working.

Naturally when I ask him what he thinks, I am met with silence.

Blackduck · 14/08/2015 20:13

Herbs ds is his child too and he needs to step up. Dp and I manage and generally I give because it is actually easier (generally) for me to, but equally he will work things out - so more than one day sick we take turns...

I think he's being unreasonable...

motherinferior · 14/08/2015 21:04

I hear ya re the half term. Ho yes. And indeed the holidays overallAngryAngry.

DP is now huffy that I want to take some moisturiser and sunscreen in my hand luggage. Small quantities in the appropriate plastic bag, ffs. I foresee further huffiness as the night wears on.

QueenQueenie · 14/08/2015 21:21

What does he think you should do MI? Smear 2 weeks worth on now and not wash? Did you book the flights yourself? If not might I suggest checking both the size of your printed boarding pass and the date the flights have been booked for? Wink

OP posts:
MollyAir · 14/08/2015 21:42

Grin QQ.

motherinferior · 14/08/2015 21:47

We do actually have some hold luggage...but I really would quite like to lard up against the flight, and feel it might be as well to protect against Spanish sunshine on arrival. It's all very well for those of us who got our Asian parent's colouring.

bigTillyMint · 14/08/2015 21:48

Good advice QQWink

Herbs, I agree with all the other Crepeys - you need to work out a plan together without him getting all PA. I can see that things may be complicated if he earns significantly more and you have been working from home, but you both need to agree a plan that you are both happy with. I'm afraid I don't do shutting up and hoping for the bestBlushGrin

Any update on the not a date?

herbaceous · 14/08/2015 22:46

I'm glad you are all here, crepeys. I do of course need to ask him to factor in childcare, and general family good, into his long term career plan. While the fact that he earns a good salary is great, it is not his only function. In fact, I also could earn a good salary if/when freed from the shackles of total child responsibility.

I feel better now I've had a curry.

bigTillyMint · 15/08/2015 01:02

That's good Herbs. QQs advice to get him to think about childcare/family responsibilities for the next 10 years whilst navel - gazing is spot-on Wink

It is our penultimate day of our hol and I am sitting outside a cafe in the late morning sun on the coast. On. My. OwnSmile This is a bolt-hole for Aucklanders and it shows - people look quite a bit more pulled-together than elsewhere on our travels!
DH and DS have gone for a run and DD might join me. She is more than ready to go home - nearly 4 weeks with is 24 hours a day is a big ask for a teen!

NUFC69 · 15/08/2015 07:44

I can't believe that your holiday is over, BTM - but it sounds as if you had a marvellous time. Herbs, I agree with other Crepeys, DP really needs to step up to the mark re childcare, although that's probably easier said than done. MI, Bon voyage. Have a great time.

Here we're just getting ready to go to the gym/badminton- the sun is out again.

bigTillyMint · 15/08/2015 08:24

NU, it's not over yet - just had to go out for early dinner as the Bledislow Cup match is about to start (All Blacks v Oz) and then Auckland tomorrow!

Glad to hear the sun is out - looking forward to some British summer when we get back.

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/08/2015 10:03

Herbs, you need to go off and do some navel gazing of your own for a few days, and leave your DP to take sole care of your DS. It's only fair, he had his few days, you need yours too, to take stock and contemplate your navel career. Make sure you go over a weekend, so that he has two full on days of the tedium of the park, Frozen, cooking, more park, some soft play, or something similar, where the DC are allegedly doing their own thing, but in reality, if you take your eyes off them, that is when they will fall over/twist their little ankle etc etc.

We reached crisis point when DH booked two work trips to the Middle East some years back, during my two busiest weeks of the year, and airily told me "you'll have to take leave, book a nanny or rearrange the meetings." (These meetings were booked in people's diaries over a year in advance to ensure attendance from Captains of Industry and Other Very Senior People. While I was a minor cog, I could not be replaced, due to the sensitivity of the issues discussed - had I been sick, my boss would have had to take on my role as well as hers.) Suffice it to say, words were said, his trips were rearranged and I asked him if he uttered the words "I understand that your career is at least as important as mine, and I will do anything possible to make your life easier", whether his cock and balls would shrivel and drop off as he said it. He can still be an arse, but said immediately that he would take DD to the hospital for her op on Monday so that I didn't need to take time off, and would stay with her until it had finished.

QQ - I have spent quite a lot of time working on crisis management and dealing with distressed people - eg people whose kids have been in a car crash and have horrific injuries, wives whose husbands have been shot dead, and am generally calm in a crisis. I'm also reasonably good at calming people down quickly, and getting them to focus on what can be done next, rather than dwelling on what has happened and why - such as making sure that the child is getting the best treatment possible in the hospital, and looking into the options of getting them out and somewhere else if that would be better, making sure a body goes into cold storage, taking a quick decision on whether the next of kin can view it (shot in the face at point blank range, best not to) and focusing on the practicalities of getting it back home. I've managed to calm very angry parents down, have been very sympathetic, sorted everything out for them, found out things I didn't know and relayed messages, and have turned them from hostile and snarling at me to grateful and back to reasonably normal in the space of half an hour. So with DD1, it was, OK, you have cut your hand badly. Put pressure on it, hold it up above your head to slow the bleeding and we will take you to A & E. You are not going to bleed to death and the hospital will sort it out. Screaming won't help, will probably raise your blood pressure and make you bleed more.

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