Though She Be Crepey, She Is FIERCE!

[QueenQueenie]

Ta Da!

DM remarkably spritely. Both she and DF bonkers. Also they had old friend staying who LECTURED me on how DSis and I "have" to convince DF of need for various adaptations etc...

"Tell him otherwise you'll have her to live with you/rent her a flat". What the actual eff??? I realise I could do more. We also have a chronically dysfunctional relationship and I find it incredibly stressful to have any bloody contact with them (had very little for a long time). And actually getting up at 6.30 on a Saturday to trek halfway across the country is not my idea of jollity.

So now I feel resentful, guilty and generally inadequate, mumble grumble moan. Auriga, you are a saint.

Oh dear, MI, I do feel for you. It must be stressful to be lectured like that.

A very inadequate response from me, sorry. I do find it difficult to know what to say when people are talking about their DMs as it is 44 years since I lost mine and I really can't remember much about our relationship. I do know that I behaved like as ostrich and refused to acknowledge there was anything wrong. We all do what we can, I think. (( hugs ))

MI not your problem. They are you biological parents but that's it. We do what we can, but in the end it's their relationship not ours.
My mother actively encouraged me not to be geographically close so I wouldn't end up doing what she did (now I feel guilty because my dbros do it instead...) but you can't change a lifetime of behaviour...

I feel for you too, MI. I've just been cursing DM under my breath in a non-beatific way. She'd asked if there was anything she could do to help and, just for a change, I'd said yes, please, you could make a salad if you like (because I feel like shit, which is another issue).

This was the wrong answer, I soon realised. Have just deleted a boring paragraph about her PA salad-making . Suffice it to say she did it with ostentatiously bad grace. But then after dinner, when DH said he'd clear up, she had the neck to say 'you're making me feel guilty'.

On a happier note, DD's musical theatre show was terrific and she shone in it. She's had a brilliant time & we had to wait around afterwards while everyone on the course hugged everyone else. Got her home, she went up to change & we didn't see her again for two hours- she'd fallen asleep . She's been singing and dancing 12 hours a day and she's whacked.

Sorry, got side-tracked. Meant to say, MI, guilt seems hard to avoid whatever you do but the Old Friend sounds pretty bonkers, not to say unrealistic. Does he think you haven't thought about trying to persuade your Dad? Is he proposing that you should forcibly split your parents up? Batshit.

MI, much sympathy. I have been in a vaguely similar situation with an old family friend and my df and it was horrible. Have a relaxing day tomorrow.

Auriga, that is wonderful about your dd.

How lovely Auriga - DD, not DM

MI, I am constantly imagining that family/friends are talking about my lack of daughterlyness towards my DM. But as none of them are exactly stepping in, I am trying to feel OK about just doing what I can. Sympathies.

Here we are sitting in the huge kitchen with the winter sun streaming in and the woodburner burning, listening to DFriends old records whilst doing a big cooked breakfast

Hurrah for the Aurigette. I am lolling around after a delicious breakfast (of what could mainly be found in the freezer, which turned out to include some fancy frozen mushrooms I'd totally forgotten about and added to an omelette) and reading gory novels. Thank you, you lot. Mwah.

I don't need to imagine what my mother's friends say about my lack of daughterly duties, as she tells me every time I phone, what Ann, Doreen or Eileen say "Oh didn't your DD come down to visit when you had a fall? Oh that's really awful..." What she omits to say is that she hadn't actually told me about the fall until several weeks after it happened...

MI and Auriga, huge sympathies re your mothers too (and Auriga, you are a SAINT, please don't forget that). And congratulations to the Aurigette.

MrsS, your mother has a whole two friends???

Three????

Hola crepeys. Here I am with another hangover. Met up with my oldest and bestest pals last night, including one who now lives in Sheffield but with whom I shared various homes for eight years of the nineties. It's the sort of friendship that we don't see each other for months/years, then just slot right back in. Lovely.

I didn't think I drank that much last night - a negroni, and about four glasses of red - but my head this morning disagrees with that analysis.

Those with aged and troublesome parents - you're all doing what you can, within the constraints of time/family/relationships. No guilt please, we're crepeys.

Ann is her neighbour and the other two are on the shopping bus. I wouldn't describe them as friends, but more as people she hasn't fallen out with yet. (The list of those she no longer speaks to is considerably longer.)

I have just weighed myself. I have put on five pounds in two days. What the hell......?

Thanks, dearest crepeys, for the cheers for DD & soothing words re DM. MrsS are you sure Doreen and Eileen aren't sock puppets? My MIL used to attribute her own views on me to lots of improbable people

"The other two are on the shopping bus" I quite like the idea of a shopping bus

Herbs, step away from the step of doom.

Maybe they are sock puppets on the shopping hus

Morning Crepeys, Dh has gone to the airport to get dd. I am preparing food for family party this afternoon. Stressed ? Moi?
Wish I could crawl back under duvet tbh. Am plastering on birthday smile. I feel every damn year of my existence today. Hers hoping dd doesn't do a flip later and A Long Line
can be drawn under previous vileness. No doubt my mother will comment on the catering in the passive aggressive way she is expert at.
MI and Auriga for Sainthood. And all Crepeys afaiac.

Kobo=keep on buggering on, or similar Waf.

Dearest Cremo, hope today goes as well as possible. I will be thinking of you. You are doing a splendid job in difficult circumstances. Chin up, lovely. And happy birthday

Auriga and MI, you are flying the flag for being fab daughters. Much love.

Have ladyjogged. God, it's hot. Herbs, I am too going in the wrong direction weight wise, but trying to lose over the holidays is impossible. I saw your new dress is Sainsbury's yesterday and was quite tempted myself (the one that looks like Sophia Loren might inhabit it - white with lovely red flowers). Bet you look fab in it. Am saving myself for winter shopping now though.

In eyelash news, I am ten days in now and LOVING them. I might go longer next time. See, I have been suckered in. Disaster! I am already overdrawn and can't add that to my monthly expenditure, but they are so lovely and fluttery. I also think they give my eyes a bit more shape and make me look younger and less like a potato in a wig. I will see how they look after 3 weeks (the earliest you can have infills, though I am away then so would have to wait til I come back).

"now I'm getting older, is it too much to ask.........." That was a favourite of my mother's many PA sayings.

You all have my sympathies and I am finding reading this very good as a first time granny. I can#'t tell you how often I have kept my mouth shut over the past few months!

Honestly, you would think that I had had nothing to do with raising DS from a babe to the adult (HA!) he now is! I just say nothing & hope to keep that way.

Best of luck with dd, Crem & crossing my fingers for a _ !

Cremo many happy returns....
Slumped on bed trying not to think about tomorrow....