Crepeys on the Verge of an Examination Meltdown

[whattodoforthebest2]

Not sure if I should be starting the new thread as I'm the last poster on the old one - is this how it works?

Oh gosh Cremo, can you get your parents to NOT act as guarantors? Sending you strength.

Crem you are being supremely amazing and absolutely doing the right thing. I hope she'll cave in eventually and you'll be able to talk with her but like you say, she's doing the toddler thing at the moment. It could be she's under quite a lot of pressure from the BF…? You are an example to us all.xx

Rushing, as off to Hampstead Theatre this evening. Much needed adult time after a day of trying to get DD to do revision and trying to get DH to do revision with her…. The shoutometer is in the red…

Stropps loving the whole DH In A Band ethos… will they ever play London? I would like to hear them. How about you film a bit on your phone, and post on FB?? lol ConS is a bass player… and my nephew...There's a particular personality that goes with it…not entirely unappealing!

Laters Crepeys.

Crem of course pm me.

Everyone tired and grumpy here. I stomped off to Sainsbury's to supplement things we'd left off yesterday's delivery. Only to come home and see we had NO VEG bar some cherry toms and salad. Cannot face yet another trip and will plunder the stuffed freezer, though that feels odd at this time of year...

Crem - awful situation. Surely your parents won't as guarantors. Here that would mean a substantial amount of debt if it all went wrong. I do hope DD comes to her senses after a spell away from BF. Much strength in riding it out.

MI - cherry tomatoes and salad works for us..

Rose have a great evening and love the concept of a shoutometre, the idea of it being in the red - not so much.

No veg for the week, Hattie....

Cremo :(. Sending much strength and horribly selfish and hurtful they are at age - the stuff about being frightened of DH must be really hurtful to you both. Hope you can convince everyone not to back her up - tough love.

Oh you wonderful people. I don't know where I'd be without you.
Dh and I have been taken on a complete roller coaster today.
My amazing sister ( who is dealing with her own dd's eating disorder and just come off night duty) has managed to calm her down. She also gave her a good talking to, pointing out that she had presented us with a done deal before she even got here, signed sealed and delivered and so full of a bloated sense of self that it was way beyond unfair. She also made sure dd was aware how selfish she is being.
We are all anxious about her state of mind however. She was racing ( ranting about everything from toilet roll to what her doctor charged for a letter) and then weeping about something she'd lost.
What I really want to do is get to a doctor willingly. But of course that's out of the question. I feel so powerless. She has an absolute sureness about the outcome of things being brilliant, despite all of us actively disagreeing with her. She has stated on 10 occasions today that she is not willing to compromise - er, that would be on anything. Sis has tried to make her see that not compromising means that she will end up with the same result over and over again.She is refusing to get a job as well ; at this point sis got the rage given how hard we all work plus redundancy, plus night shift she had just come off, and he Great Plan was to sit on her arse all summer and count clouds smoking a big spliff.
I am off to bed. really had enough today. Love you all obvs.

Oh Crem, you really do haveit all going on don't you.

Re dd apart from anything else I think she probably needs a bit of time to decompress / come down / re adjust etc etc and you just have to sit it out as best you can... Sounds that your dsis was a good support which can only be a help. Not sure you have much choice except to ride it out as best you can for now?

Is she taking any medication? Currently getting any help / care for her mh issues?

Have a BIG hug. X

Oh dear God, Crem, have a large . Sounds a nightmare. But hoorah for your sister. At least you have a good ally there.

How is she going to rent the flat with Love's Young Unemployed and Useless Dream, if she doesn't get a guarantor?

Crem, I am so sorry to hear the news about dd. She does not sound well. And it must be very hard to work out what to do for the best, given the circs.

Oh Crem, I can't believe how much you are dealing with at the moment. Good for your DSis reading her the riot act. You mentioned earlier about meeting/speaking to BF's parents.... why not? Perhaps if they understood a little more about DD's background...?

Anyway, DD1's birthday sleepover on Friday night was predictably noisy; fuelled by Red Bull and Pringles, it would seem. I called down to them at about 1.30am; at about 4am they were out in the garden on the trampoline so I had to get up and shut the bedroom window, then at 6am they woke DS up after running up and down the corridor outside his bedroom...but we did snatch the odd hour of sleep.

Today we all went into London, and had a fab afternoon - lots of walking, mooching round Soho, quick trip to Hamleys for DD2, Liberty for me, and M&M World for DS (oh my days, what a dreadful place) and dinner at Inamo, which was huge fun, with the interactive tables (food was tasty but pricy). It was one of those rare days that you wish happened more often, with all three DCs on great form - no rows, no moaning, plenty of laughs. DS was on his best behaviour with GF there - she really does bring out the best in him. Joke of the Day - DD2 was listening to a busker playing the didgeridoo in one of the tube stations; we explained it was an Australian instrument. She thought for a moment, then asked "how far underground are we?" you had to be there

I have a lie-in tomorrow. I can't wait. Off to bed.... have a restful Sunday, crepeys.

Hold firm, Crem. We had a horrendous time with DS when he was about that age - awful GF, drugs, mental health etc etc. Thought things would never ever be right. Ten years (or so) on they are. He is happy, married & in a great job. Although they like to think they are adult & in control in their early 20's, they really don't seem to 'grow up' until a few years later.

Wishing you strength.

Crem hoping you have a calmer day today.

God CV - DH would have cracked and roared with shenanigans like that all night.

Crem - wishing you a calmer and more reasonable day.

I am waiting for a check in from DD1 who has finished her dodgy Amsterdam meet up and should not be back at uni for the last week and ... exam results.

Had a nice meal out with old friends last night where we were able to sit outside for the whole evening!

How are you today, Crem? Hope you got some sleep and feel better. Hang on in there. You are doing a great job

I am massively hungover after a fun wedding. My (friend's) navy dress was much admired. There was a woman about 20 years younger and 3 stone lighter than me in another of my options so I am glad I didn't wear that. Herbs, I did see the Marie Antoinette Hotter shoe in the blue on an otherwise very stylish woman. It looked a bit incongruous. Having seen it in the flesh I would steer well clear.

Right, I must shake a leg. Alison Moyet tonight. 2 nights out in a row. I don't think I can cope.

Oooh- I love Alison Moyet - I saw her at uni - she has lost an incredible amount of weight since then.

Cremo, how are things today?

Magimedi (and others with older DC), it is so reassuring to hear that although things may be horrendous at the moment, they can and do get better.

Wedding sounds good Monty. And CV, sounds like you had a great day despite M&M world (vile place!)

We had a great evening out with friends, drinking cocktails out of jam jars (needless to say the menfolk hadn't seen or heard of this new hipster trend before) and then a fabulous meal at a newish restaurant. And no hangover
Off to visit some local gardens with a friend this afternoon - shame it's not sunny.

What a lot of crepey action.

Just returned from a local 'jumble trail', on which I had set out with the strict intention of not to buy anything. Except something small for DS with his pocket money. So, naturally I have returned with a gigantic pirate ship and a funky pair of Adidas Superstars, with yellow stripes. Just what I didn't need.

Application done and submitted - keep your fingers crossed for me crepeys......

Love the trainers Herbs.

Well done BD - am crossing everything for you.

Thank you, BTM.

I honestly think that from about 18 - 23 were the hardest years of the lot.

Now (mid 30s) is just lovely &we have a great relationship & friendship.

I still have to bite my tongue quite often & remember that he is an adult & has to try his own way with things.

The funniest was when DIL was pregnant & I asked about childcare when she goes back to work. DS told me that he was going to be able to work from home more by then & looking after a ten month old, whilst working, would be easy as they sleep a lot!!! Now PFGC has arrived I think he may already have chenged his views!

changed -

(You will all have to accept that I am always making dire typos - not predictive text here as I post from desktop.)

Magi, I am praying that we will not have another time worse than the eighteen months from a bit before DD's 14th birthday onwards, but it is quite possible!

Magi your typos are nothing compared to a poster called ICod years ago. She actually posted in typo.
Your words are a huge comfort to me.HUGE! I say. She is desperate to prove she is 'capable' and has all the buzzwords to this effect . Anyway she calmed right down yesterday, and has started to treat the house like a hotel. She has gone out this afternoon to meet some friends after dumping her washing and breakfast plates in random piles. It's almost normal.

QQ you are right I'll have to ride things out. I have no idea who her guarantor is going to be. it won't be her step-brother. I had a long text chat with him and he has been wonderful. He was most consoling and soothing and won't stand guarantor for her. He has met the boyfriend and feels he's basically immature and it is dd that dominates him. He reckons the bf's parents are just delighted to get him out of the house.
CV I don't want to talk to the parents at this time. Dd has made it quite clear that they know everything about her past and are. ' on my side' I am not prepared to justify our position to strangers at the moment. I have enough to deal with in respect to dds mental state.

Stropps yes, she isn't herself at all. We need to get her some talking therapy, but she'll have to agree.

BD well done for the application completion. Best of best of luck for the job. Can you chill a little today.?
I might have wee lie down myself....