How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

[stuckonchapterone]

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all!

I think you've been given some great advice on how to dress. For me, it's all about natural fabrics to wear and have in my home - linen, cotton, cashmere, silk, leather etc. nothing too fussy, over patterned or trendy.
Create a wardrobe of quality basics that fit well and the rest will follow. John Lewis and white company should give you a good idea.

My real concern for you is that your lack of confidence will show through. You need to find the lifestyle that you feel comfortable with and know it's ok to be you. I couldn't fake enjoying the opera or certain sports, for example, but I love travel, interior design and reading. To my knowledge nobody's ever thought less of me for having preferences.

I really would seek a bit of counselling to explore this further. I totally get wanting to rebrand yourself a little, but what happens to the you that you were before? I'm sure that person was perfectly good enough!

Conversation - the opened ended question advice was good, also practise making eye contact with people. I'm dreadful at this as I feel so self conscious and stupid but I'm trying!

People love to talk about themselves so ask questions. I also think it's nice to cultivate an air of mystery, don't over share any information about yourself. I've been called an enigma before, it made my day

This is a really fun project, I hope you get something really good from it

For clothes try Zara and whistles. And maybe mango.

Look on eBay

OP sorry you've been getting a hard time, I know exactly what you mean and think a lot of people aspire to this kind of look/lifestyle but just wouldn't come out and say so. I do a bit myself but being a few years older than you (and I don't mean to be patronising) I also recognise the importance of retaining a sense of 'you' as well. It's important to choose clothes/activities/places to go that genuinely make you feel comfortable and happy or it just doesn't work. Good luck :).

Oh and Watching the English is a fab, interesting, funny and insightful book, definitely worth a read.

Novice - your look is city posh - very different from country posh.

Country posh is battered yard boots, jods or old jeans, pearl earrings and expensively highlighted hair in a scruffy top knot.

Erudite yup I am absolutely a city girl. Your country look absolutely describes our country rellies and friends though and I never properly pull off that look when we visit. Dh does both well. I was a tad confused though by some of the references on this thread that don't seem to fall into either of the looks you describe. Having said that, like everything else, I guess there is a spectrum of a look as opposed to a uniform!

I'm sure this is a wind up.

And OP, as regards confidence, you seem quite confident already. Well able to hold your own against some of the comments here. So no need to worry on that front.

Right, once again (as per negative comments) I'm going to try address some questions ect etc...

KatyPeary As stated before, this is not a wind up. I've had a serious knock to confidence recently (due to health) and thought I could get some advice re: dressing and what not, on here. I am looking for serious advice, hence I've had to address some of the (quite frankly) rude and patronising comments on here. Please do not try to judge my situation, as you do not know the past or current circumstances. Thank you.

Thank you CambridgeBlue for understanding what I mean, it been hard to get my point across with out it being so harshly judged and ridiculed Some people have been more than kind, and have offered some great advice so I look forward to implementing some of it, and hopefully getting my mojo back haha

holmessweetholmes Thank you for the reassurance and kind words, it means a lot

Thank you to those who suggested the Mantaray concession at Debenhams, they currently have 20% off all dresses for anyone who might be interested

Follow the whatkatewore blog!

What about the kids op? I'm the same as you would love to dress preppy/posh but find I do it through my daughter it's too the point where people think that I'm her nanny it's so cute though!

I would suggest brown tassel loafers and a nice Mac also.

squoosh Not quite sure who Kim Sears is, however I have googled her, and that's not quite the look I'm going for, Pippa Middleton is a closer bet, or something like this...

BadgersArse Thank you for taking the invaluable time out of your day to correct my appealing grammar It has been much appreciated.

Don't understand why you're getting such a bashing OP

It always amazes me when people come onto an S&B thread and start moaning about how 'shallow' it is.... If they want something a bit more meaningful maybe they should naff off back to 'feminist theory' or 'politics' or whatever thread they emerged from

Personally I am finding this thread very interesting

Your three looks are quite different, which one do you like best? The dress one looks carefree, romantic, the one with the coat looks quite dramatic and the dark haired one looks demure, natural.

It might help you when looking at styles to pick words that you relate to.

PS Kim Sears is tennis player Andy Murray's wife.

Forgot to link to a Pippa Middleton board!

www.pinterest.com/ma_mcdonald/pippa-middleton-s-style/?no_auto_redirect_or_interstitial=1

Oh yes and pin rolled boyfriend jeans.

I think the problem is OP, is you called this look "posh" - the word 'posh' is very negative amongst wealthy middle class lefties. It's an insult to have your look discribed as 'posh' and many will actively hate anyone who dresses in a way that marks them as 'older money' - even if they have exactly the same income.

Polished and groomed. Think Kate Middleton when not on an official engagement (she does wear a lot of Zara and high street). Avoid 'fashion' as such, make sure your clothes fit you, aren't too clingy or revealling.

perhaps start a new thread asking for style advice for 'preppy' or 'ladylike grown up' looks. It's the word 'posh' that's got the backs up...

It's the word "lifestyle" and where to eat and how to act that threw me.

OP what clas do you perceive yourself to be part of? Do you think you're moving 'up' or 'down'

I think that some of what you're interpreting as attacks are actually from people who are concerned about your state of mind, Stuck. You sound bruised and vulnerable, and on the one hand you're just asking about where to buy some new clothes to raise your mood after a low patch.

But on the other you are asking about 'middle class activities' and advice on 'where to eat/shop/act', as if you're trying to boost yourself up the class ladder of a class-obsessed country using clothes to appear to be something you are (presumably?) not at a time when your self-esteem is low, without taking into account activities you actually like...?

I'm going to take this at face value only on mn.

I went to a private school so if I think of what those ex classmates look like now in their 30s.

Subtle hair colour, no visible greys or odd/bright colours
No piercings other than one stud on each ear lobe
No tattoos
Good, white teeth, not Hollywood veneers but no missing/yellow/crooked ones
Clear skin
Use tweezerman tweezers to keep them neat but no over plucking- I find body shop clear mascara to keep them tidy
Bmi under 25
No coloured nail varnish
Read broadsheet newspapers (a variety)
Go to a book group
No stilettos
No skirts above just above knee length
No cleavage on display
Be able to cook from scratch- go to a cooking class if you need to learn, have a couple of nigella & delia cookbooks, invite other couples for dinner parties
No fake tans, hair, nails
No stubble
Read a book about etiquette but don't take it too seriously
Know your cutlery
Read up on Alexander technique to improve your posture
Do yoga and or Pilates
Enter a 10k and fundraiser for charity
Don't eat or drink in public
Don't smoke
Don't get drunk
Buy a book about wines or go to a class and know your grapes apart
If you want to mimic the 'classically educated' public school type then read some books on the main Greek/roman myths etc
A wedding ring is the only jewellery required especially if you have a dc
Never have sugar in your tea
Holiday in Cornwall not Spain
Never enter a caravan
Scarves, scarves are always good

Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.