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Original poster

How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?

634 replies

stuckonchapterone · 02/05/2015 19:21

Hello everyone.

I was seen, and read some threads similar to this, however I was wondering whether anyone could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated Smile

I have long been a 'fan' of the posh / middle class fashion look e.g. long hair, joules, white stuff ect. I was wondering what staples you would suggest purchasing in order to achieve this look and lifestyle e.g. I am looking into buying a barbour coat, once I can get to the shops (currently recovering from an illness at the moment, and part of this post is get some advice before I update my wardrobe to make myself feel a bit better) Advice on where to shop / eat and act would be great too Smile

Any tips / advice to help me achieve this look / lifestyle would be greatly appreciated. No negative comments please.

Thanks all! Smile

OP posts:
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Erudite · 03/05/2015 11:05

Aha Novice- absolutely!

When I go into A City I struggle so end up in skinnies slightly turned up, converse or Gap flats or loafers, white shirt and blazer .

DinosaursRoar · 03/05/2015 11:05

on and Massimo Dutti might be another good shop to look at.

(and look at the threads asking about a 'French/Parisian' look - it's very similar to what you are discribing and a lot less politicially sensitive round here)

lurkingaround · 03/05/2015 11:06

'class' not clas clearly

QueenBean · 03/05/2015 11:12

What a load of bitchy replies. FFS.

OP, I think it's quite fair question to ask how you could get a particular look or style. Apart from the good advice above, look at what the made in Chelsea girls wear - much of it is not designer but much cheaper, loads of their stuff is just from topshop

Also worth signing up to the Jack Wills outlet store, some really cheap stuff on there

Lucked · 03/05/2015 11:20

I think before commuting to a new wardrobe you should consider your body shape and what colours suit you, otherwise the cloths might wear you iyswim.

Look at colour analysis and kibbe body types or if you have the money get consultations, it will make you much more confident when shopping.

NakedFamilyFightClub · 03/05/2015 11:23

Your head must be spinning with all the advice on this thread! Some of it seems completely contradictory.

I haven't gone thought illness but I have changed my look a couple of times after a period of unhappiness so I wish you all the best Flowers it was the confidence boost of feeling that I looking well that I needed.

I can't help with the style questions but those bike seats are the Yepp mini and maxi if cycling with your DC appeals to you. I started cycling for a bit of exercise and I really got into it and started taking it seriously. Any hobbies you've had in the past that you fancy taking up again or maybe something new? I've found cycling a great way to meet people and I've toned up which is always a confidence boost Smile

Original poster
stuckonchapterone · 03/05/2015 11:30

I'm trying to respond to the comments, so hold with me.
lurkingaround I don't see myself as any class. I've just moved recently, about to restart work, in a place that is completely alien to me, and just need to get out again, whilst trying a new style / look, one which I appear to like Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
stuckonchapterone · 03/05/2015 11:32

QueenBean I agree, I feel like my question has been completely taken out of context, which is sad. I did ask for no negative replies, and I understand the whole freedom of speech argument, but I was just looking for some friendly advice to help me recover / get back on track... Sad

OP posts:
ChristmasEveSteve · 03/05/2015 11:32

Pronounce quinoa and gilet correctly. Hold your hair back with sunglasses from spring to autumn. Be happy. Chose a colour pallet and stick to it, blue and beige for example. Join the National Trust and make the most of your membership, remember if its rainy the back of a Volvo Estate makes a good spot for a family picnic. Dont over do the scarves, think streamlined and simple. Buy a nice mug from Cornishwear or Emma Bridgewater for your morning coffee if not getting something from an overpriced coffee shop. Go to Centre Parcs not Butlins, but reluctantly and with a smidgeon of irony (but still have a good time). Enjoy being a new you.

Andcake · 03/05/2015 11:38

I'm not going to be negative but feel that maybe you will be happier being yourself!
It's hard pretending to be posh or mc ( different things in my experience) and I've seen people ruin themselves.
The best advice I can offer is be happy in yourself.
Hope you recover soon - did your illness hit your confidence

hollyisalovelyname · 03/05/2015 11:40

Buy Tatler. See what the people in it are wearing.
You have to be thin though.

Googlers123 · 03/05/2015 11:47

I don't think the negative comments have been about the op asking how to dress posh. S and b is all about wanting to look a certain way, no problem with that. I think it's been about the op asking where to eat and how to act in order to seem posh. That's beyond s and b and is odd. A grown woman asking how to act to come across a certain way, that's the thing they people are objecting to IMO.

ChristmasEveSteve · 03/05/2015 11:51

For what its worth I think its fine to want a new look and a new you. Go for it and enjoy :)

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 03/05/2015 11:51

Googlers is right. How to dress a certain way = fine. How to act and what to eat to appear 'posh' is a bit odd.

airedailleurs · 03/05/2015 11:59

I think asking about how to achieve a certain look is fine and people's responses are interesting (I'd never heard of Mantaray before and I like the look of their dresses, for example), but OP what are you hoping to achieve from copying a certain lifestyle? It actually sounds a bit creepy to me, sorry, and I don't understand how it would give you confidence. Would you go to places and do hobbies just because they fit the image you're after, or because you genuinely enjoy them? Why don't you find out what you enjoy for yourself? The internet is full of ideas, the world is your lobster!

I wish you happiness by the way, I just don't see how aping other people's lifestyle will bring you that.

airedailleurs · 03/05/2015 12:01

cross-post!

Twitchcoco · 03/05/2015 12:01

She's asking for help and ideas, not justification!

I think she rocks, I'm all for a bit of aspiration :)

airedailleurs · 03/05/2015 12:05

yes and my way of being helpful is to say that copying what other people do just because it fits a certain image is not the way to happiness!

holmessweetholmes · 03/05/2015 12:07

I still think it's the fact that she's openly and honestly asking about it that's odd, not the idea itself. I'm sure there are plenty of people with upper middle class aspirations who are, this very bank holiday weekend, toddling off to galleries, farmers' markets, local independent cafés and the like, when these are not activities that are part of their normal existence or family background. They may not be saying or even consciously thinking 'I know, dh, let's go and have lunch at Jocasta's Organic Café because it will make us feel more upper middle class, and maybe our kids will turn out all cultured and posh'. But maybe that sort of idea is somewhere in the back of their minds. A lot of what people do and the choices they make are surely driven by what kind of person they aspire to be or what kind of life they want to have.

happybubblebrain · 03/05/2015 12:12

From what I can gather on this thread, if you're not thin and you don't have beautiful healthy hair don't even bother trying. Try and look and behave like a clone of everybody else. Stick with certain styles even if they don't suit you. Don't do anything fun. Don't attempt to have your own individuality. Waste lots of money on hair and clothes even when your money could be spent more wisely on other things.

All of that would make me completely miserable if I tried it.

The people critical of this thread are being the most helpful long-term, in my opinion.

Just be yourself OP.

almondcakes · 03/05/2015 12:18

I think I'm naive, because I honestly believed people went to art galleries because they liked art, Italian restaurants because they liked Italian food and so on.

I get the clothes thing after an illness though. I imagine it is wanting to feel safe and comfortable again after a period of upheaval.

ememem84 · 03/05/2015 12:31

Dh just told me I look sloany. If that's the look you're after today I'm sporting dark blue skinnie jeans (primark) brown loafers (new look) denim shirt (primark again) sbretin striped jumper (Levi's I think -if not h&m - I have 2....). Hair is messy bun on top of head (day 3 no washing it's mostly dry shampoo and has sort of been brushed). If I go out today I'll throw on a jacket (maybe a blazer, maybe my Barbour -ancient. Mostly worn for riding) I'm by no means posh. But I like to look nice and this style suits me. If you get why I mean.

As to lifestyle - I ride (but have done since I was a kid - I love it but know loads I people who hate the thought of it), I eat where I want, drink what I want (though am partial to a cheeky sauv blanc or a glass of prosecco on occasion) and do what I want. I don't ski, I don't hunt, I don't go to galleries (because I'm just not into art so much - dh is. So we visit on occasion when in holidays etc).

If you're just comfortable being you (and if for you the "look" is part of what makes you comfortable) the rest will follow. I wouldn't try too hard to fake it though. Just be the best you you can be.

Twinklestein · 03/05/2015 12:37

No idea whether this thread is a wind up or very naive.

Ironically, Boden sells exactly what the OP is after - a lifestyle as much as as a clothing range. It's incredibly popular on here, and many women buy into the Boden myth, they just wouldn't be as honest about it as the OP.

However, addressing lack of confidence by trying to be someone you're not is doomed to failure. True confidence comes in accepting who you are and being happy with it.

peltata · 03/05/2015 12:48

If this is the look you're aiming for M&S, H&M will have classic affordable basic pieces for you to put together. A longish Bob seems to suit most people and only needs trimming every 2-3 months. Henna hair colours from Lush though messy to apply makes hair incredibly shiny and healthy looking. Natural makeup:spf30 moisturiser, concealer, blusher, mascara, lip tint and neat eyebrows. Make sure your diet is healthy and balanced and you are drinking plenty of water and getting enough sleep.

Low cost middle class activities include joining the national trust for days out with your dcs. Local adult and children's tennis clubs run by LA or charities are full of mc families as are local children's theatre productions. For you book clubs run by libraries are a good way to meet mc people and evening classes such as learning a foreign language, musical instrument, singing. Yoga and Pilates are nice gentle exercise groups again lots of mc folk.

How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?
How to achieve the middle class / posh girl look and lifestyle?
herecomesthsun · 03/05/2015 12:53

Can I suggest Boden sales? Very good value, good quality and potential for resale if you wish