Help me improve the way I look please

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I stopped straightening my hair a few months ago and now let it dry in its natural curls. I decided to have a trim and told the hairdresser (working from home, not in a salon but came highly recommended) I wanted a bob, so she cut it straight, no layers so I wouldn't end up with a triangle supposedly.

It is awful, has no shape, and because I have a side parting it's huge on one side and not the other.

I don't know whether it's the weather but it's constantly just frizzy. I've tried using sls free shampoo and silicone free conditioner but it didn't improve the condition. I've been letting it dry naturally so it would shine when dry and curl, but it's awful, just awful. I have no money at all due to the fact dh has been out of work for over a year, although he starts a new job next week, so another trip to a hairdresser is out of the question for a few months at least.

Add to that the fact that I have put on a lot of weight due to feeling very down and eating cheap crap, I'm now between one and two dress sizes bigger and have absolutely no waist at all but look 6 months pregnant. None of my clothes fit, I live in leggings and 2 tunic tops I have which I hate. I work from home so don't need work clothes but still would like to feel better about myself. Obviously I can't afford new clothes and wouldn't like myself in anything anyway.

I also can't wear makeup because most things aggravate the skin around my eyes so it becomes flaky and sore.

I guess losing weight would help but I can't afford healthy food yet, we live on cheap stuff. I have only £50 max per week to spend on food for 2 adults and teen dd.

Also I think the anti depressants I take aren't helping. And I eat crap when I feel down too

And I look tired and old (I'm 50), I hate my glasses but can't afford contact lenses.

Any tips how I can improve things? Anything I can do about my hair? I thought about trying the mumsnet hair cut but I'm worried I'll make it even worse and also I don't want it shorter because it's shorter than I wanted anyway.

Grateful for any tips.

Sorry for the long post

I think my eyes become sore when wearing makeup because I have psoriasis. I struggle with foundation too, as my skin tends to get quote flaky, so I just need to keep moisturising.

I do have a jar of coconut oil and have dug that out today for my skin. I haven't been bothering with moisturising at all, I'll try and motivate myself to at least do that every day.

I have an appointment with my gp on Wednesday. I don't want to change to another sort of anti depressant because the ones I'm taking have really helped with the anxiety I was suffering with.

You need to put gel through your hair or it will go frizzy. I use umberto giannini hair jelly stuff which is an absolute miracle but is a bit pricey. Boots hair scrunching cream in a pink jar is not bad and pretty cheap.
You absolutely do need to moisturise morning and night.
Get some strong cream from the doctor for your psoriasis and oil yourself up every morning and evening! Only then will your skin improve, I suffer from eczema so i know. Once your skin is improved you should be able to wear a minimum of make up, tinted moisturiser shouldn't irritate your skin or make it flake and lipstick will add a touch of colour and make the rest of you look more done. Experiment with different mascaras to find one that doesn't irritate your eyes.
I suggest you go out and buy yourself some new clothes, have a look in primark, charity shops, market stalls etc. Life is too short to punish yourself for gaining weight, it happens to us all. Pick out some jeans and a couple of nice tops/jumpers that flatter you.
Once you make more effort with your appearance you might feel less down and less inclined to comfort eat and find it easier to diet.
You can also get some more flattering glasses much cheaper online. Perhaps when you have some spare money you can get contacts. Mine are £16 a month which aren't the cheapest, i know you can get some for £9. Again, they are cheaper online.
Don't be so hard on yourself and wish you luck.

We do eat veg every night, but not just veg! I can't cook two different meals every day Cooking one meal is difficult enough. I've been buying cheap easy meals, so that we at least eat a full meal every day. I don't enjoy cooking and dh can't cook, plus I work all afternoon usually so don't have much time to cook. I know these are all excuses but it's the way I feel I will try to eat more healthily but I don't know what to cook that will be cheap and fill us up and make dh (who likes meat or junky stuff) and dd (who is just downright picky) happy. Dd doesn't like casseroles. I don't like fish very much unless in batter or smoked salmon. Dh doesn't like jacket potatoes.

I've tried so many mascaras, they all irritate the skin around my eyes after a while. Foundation does make my skin flake and I struggle to find a moisturiser that doesn't make my skin sore, the same applies to tinted moisturiser. The only moisturiser I can use at the moment is Eucerin.

Put on your runners and go out for a walk. Do it a few times a week. Up it to a gentle jog.....just the distance between two lamp posts.

If the library have 'Run fat bitch run' its worth a read.

Just getting out and moving has totally changed my mood and my appearance. Its had a bigger effect than any diet or product and its free.

Forgot to say, I wear varifocals so doubt I'll get contact lenses for £9 per month. I have a lot of problems with glasses, they suit me better when my hair is straight. Also I have these very dark big eyebrows and my glasses never seem right. Also they always catch my hair

I'll go to the opticians for the free trial next week and see what they say.

ok then. If you cant/wont change the diet you're going to have to exercise. At least that can be done for free.
Your diet will be affecting your skin as well as your moods btw.
Drink lots of water

I know I need to change my diet but I also know that I'm struggling with various obstacles:lack of money, lack of motivation and lack of time.

Lots of early nights, lots of water, lots of veg (with a little bit of other stuff), lots of good moisturiser, L'oreal Mythic Oil for the hair (12 on ebay) it's amazing, 15 minuts of exercise a day, maybe eyebrow threading (costs about 5). You will look better in no time.

Thanks At the I can't even pay the bills, I definitely can't spend £12 on hair products I have some Aveda curl cream that I found in the back of the cupboard that I've used today, hopefully that will tame the frizz for now. I hope next month I will be able buy some bits and pieces we need but top of the list is clothes for dd as she needs new tights, school skirts and shirts.

Have a look on eBay for a few new threads, get your eyebrows done if you don't already, this will open your eyes up, could you take an eyelash dye without it aggravating your skin? I buy a silver tin of stuff from lush for about a tenner, has the same effect as 8 hour cream for me, so when my eyelid area gets dry I slap some on overnight. It's great on my face too..

Do your nails, it's all about making you feel better and small things might boost you up, it's a horrible time of year. Also have a hunt for cheap jewellery, I've bought some real bargains from house of Fraser like big hoops, bangles and get complimented on them.

The food thing one of my cheapest recipes is frozen fish, tinned tom's, pepper, onions with chilli powder and herbs. Serve with rice cheap tortilla chips and the family love it. Takes no time.

Hairwise, do you put any styling products on jt to try and combat the frizz? You could use normal conditioner as a leave in and try boots essentials curl cream. Costs less thsn £2 apot which lasts ages and really helps with curl definition. You could try twisting it before drying too. It is really hard transitioning from straightening but worth it in the end I think.

varofocal contact lenses
If your eyebrows are thick, get some tweezers and pluck them! You can pick up tweezers in the pound shop. If you're too scared to do them yourself threading costs a fiver.

You can't change anything by not changing anything.

For you OP, you sound very low.

I agree about setting small goals, everything seems overwhelming otherwise.

For the next week I'd try to get out of the house for a walk every day, even 20 mins is better than nothing.

Have a chat with your GP, maybe tweaking the dosage of your ADs might help.

In the new year when DH is working again I'd really look at the family's diet, are your DH and dd as healthy as they could be? If you all try together to reduce the junk and eat better food you will all feel the benefit. I make a big pot of vegetable and lentil soup every second day, so that there is always some in the fridge, it's nutritious, tasty and cheap to make.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Skinhead, thanks, that is really cheap for lenses!

I have tweezers but struggle to get a shape.

So what do I ask the optician for so that I can order contact lenses online? I have a current eye test, do I need a special prescription or something for contact lenses?

Hi op yeah you will need to attend a contact lense fitting as pescriptions slightly different to glasses i have my fitting this week

I would honestly start with diet and exercise.

Your diet sounds absolutely awful. Sorry . How can you feel good about yourself or lose weight if you live on frozen crap? Can you master a few cheap veg/legume recipes - chickpea curry, tagine, stews etc? It really doesnt need to be expensive or complicated. Also, start drinking lots of water. Treat it like medicine.

What exercise do you get? (Sorry if I have missed this). A brisk 20 min walk in the fresh air everyday and maybe an exercise DVD a few times a week from home will dramatically improve your health and your feelings about yourself if you stick with it.

Good luck, OP. Its hard when you feel crappy and your looks get you doen, but as annoying as it is, starting from the inside will help loads.

I don't like cooking, but I can cook, at least basics, and can follow a recipe.

I just don't think junk food is more expensive, as meat is really expensive, even at Aldi. £50 has to cover all our shopping including washing liquid, toilet roll, cleaning products.

If I don't buy cheap chocolate, dh ends up buying expensive crisps and Mars bars!

I can't eat pulses like lentils, chick peas so can't replace meat with them.

This week I'll try to get some bulk cooking dinner like bolognese sauce, cottage pie, chilli, veg soup ..

I do try to walk the dog every day, even just for 20 mins to the park so she can have a run. I'll try and increase how long I walk for though.

I hate drinking water, I can't stand the smell. I do drink a lot of black decaf coffee though, that's about all I drink in fact.

Thanks to everyone for the advice. Hopefully things will pick up soon and I'll feel a bit better and more motivated.

Where do you live if water smells?? I'd get that checked...water shouldn't smell.

Can you add the smallest drop of squash to the water? Just to tint it pink so it's more bearable to drink? Or add lemon slices/mint/cucumber/ginger.

It's a chlorine sort of smell I just don't like it. In summer I do have water with ice and lemon though, the lemon masks the smell a little.

Ah ok. Got it. Thought it was a worse smell...!

No, but it makes me retch

I managed to cut down on the junk and eaten quite well for the past few days, lots of veg and have cut down on chocolate and sweet stuff, also been out for a walk every day.

However I'm still despairing of my hair and I really can't afford to have it cut at all. I never put it up because I don't know how and it never seems to suit me, but I'm thinking maybe I need to learn how to, as at the moment it is just a frizzy mess, no shape at all. Can anyone recommend a style or a YouTube video for a messy bun or half up style?

I went for my free trial of contact lenses, but they talked me into signing up for direct debit and paying 3 months in advance straight away I already had the lenses in and didn't feel I could say no, but feel stupid and have had to spend money I needed for food