Crepeyistmas Time, Camel Toe and Whine...

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Pandering to the uncouth...

OMG, that video. Is she real? Her hair! Her lipstick! And her camel-toe.....

I wear make up to work out but even I don't do dangly earrings and a necklace like Mrs prancer. Awesome, as DS would say.

In the last 2 hours I have folded 5 loads of washing and put away, hired a cake tin for dd's party on Sunday, cleaned out a cupboard, fed the Christmas cakes, made cauliflower cheese for tomorrow's supper and sourced a new babysitter. She is a teenager on her gap year who lives 2 roads away and is coming on Friday to say hello. The babysitter is the but I am most pleased about. My kids love teenage girls and, of our 2 regulars, one is at uni avd the other not very free so another one to add to the mix will be great.

Right, hang out the washing then will try to persuade poorly boy to have a sleep.

My industrious bubble has somehow become popped by the arrival of 2 hideous pieces of post:

1. An invitation to an Old Lady healthcheck. I am 45 FGS.

1. A catalogue from a company called "Hotter". I am hoping this is a joke or a mistake, or else my shopping preferences are saying terrible things about me.

I have recycled 2. and will act on 1. after Christmas. BTW, does anyone know if / when you get invited for a mammogram? I'd read somewhere that this was over 40 but have heard nothing.

DP has finally sent me his Christmas list - and, unusually, appears to expect everything on it and got huffy when I said this might not be feasible. It consists of:

a belt (reversible)
a magazine rack
a letter rack
a laptop case (a v specific one he has linked to)
warm socks for cycling.

Monty, you know you're a crepey when you get a Hotter catalogue!

I had my first mammogram at 48 I think.

MI - so far dh is getting a pack of bicycle top trumps from me, which may well be as far as I get. I'm actually quite that you have a man who would use a letter rack - does he not just leave post unopened all over the kitchen counters and then when he does open them, leave both letter and envelope all over kitchen thus doubling the mess?

I have not yet received a Hotter catalogue, but I have received (and bought from) the Damart one.

No of course he doesn't use one, Wilbur, he merely declaims about Letters All Over the Place. Which are all, needless to say, his.

I have ordered the cycle socks...

Monty, there's probably a link between this thread and the Hotter catalogue!

Monty, I received both a Hotter and a Chums catalogue which are actually fascinating reads. Surely these type of clothes and styles will die out eventually. I certainly won't be wearing beige cardigans and slacks suddenly in reaching 65. I plan to be in expensive leather, red cashmere, exciting lipstick and Designer trews .
Plus crepey scarf or such. There's no reason to fade away....

Oh Damart do q good coats akchually Wilbur. Not just a vest merchant.
I love a catalogue browse. Rarely buy much, but like flicking

DP has refused to buy a laminator for me, saying it's the sort of thing my mum should buy me. He's probably right.

Had a formative assessment of my teaching today. Started well - my 'opening was inspired', apparently - but went a bit Pete Tong when I got them to start looking up words in dictionaries. I might as well have asked them to translate words into Serbo-Croat.

Sorry - didn't realise the thread had moved to two pages already!

I have received neither a Hotter nor a Chums catalogue, though our doormat is regularly flattened by Next directories. I love a flick, too.

Our little heathen boy is one of only two (2, ii) children in his class to do a reading from the bible at next Mondays nativity service. I am already feeling a queasy mixture of pride and embarrassment. I am of course bound to cry. And if anyone's small baby makes so much as a PEEP while he's doing it, I'm going to get all Herod on their ass.

a magazine rack? What's wrong with the floor for christ sake??

Dp is having sessions with a personal trainer (on his request).......

Hotters - very comfy shoes MC ;)

I cannot think what to ask for for Christmas, apart from tedious practical items like a collapsible water bottle, or the dreaded laminator.

Anyone got any inspiration?

Genius Mrs S, Genius!

MI, Gap have 40% off everything at least in store but hopefully online too. I bought ds1 a v nice reversible belt (brown / black leather) today.

Drat Mrs S - all day I've been humming Christmas Time, Mistletoe and Wine - I hold you responsible.

Letter racks, magazine racks???

I haven't bought DH anything as he needs to get his finger out and choose his own clothes. With my advice, of course

I have never actually received a Hotter catalogue, nor a Chums one, but I often wonder the same as you, Cremo. I suspect DM may order from Hotter, though I have never seen a catalogue in her ever-expanding collection!

Herbs, how lovely! I hope you make a better job of filming him than my work colleague did of her DS!

There are going to be many many parents there - it's for his entire 'house', so at least four classes, so I shall get there 30 minutes before it starts and elbow my way to the front. Like I did last year.

Elbowing to the front is de riguer at Christmas herbs. I actually reserved a pew for us last year at dds last Carol concert. 45 minutes Id say, just to make sure.
The one thing I regret not having was a camera with a good telephoto lens. I don't own one decent picture of dd performing without the back of someone's head in it.

Films are great too - we have a load of old footage of the DC which we all love watching

I am a bad and weird mummy as I have never once filmed my dc and therefore do not have any videos of them. Apart from 2 Christmas play dvds that ds made me buy in Yrs 2 and 4. Talking of videos, I am feeling a tad unwell having just viewed the vid on Molly's link. Dear me, those trousers. Well, and indeed everything else.
I delivered my first lesson today and it all went well. An insane amount of planning and preparation for an hour and 15 mins, but hey. And of course I must do it all again next week, plus I have an evaluation lesson plan to give in, a re-draft of an assignment that was returned today and something else which I can't remember right now. And I have to work Thurs and Fri invigilating at the upper school and dh is in a huff because he is now overloaded with work and I'm not able to tackle any of it. Plus he has just okayed me to do a test job for a new client, which I'm supposed to do for no bloody money by Friday.
Good thing was, my last massive assignment (the "6000 words and counting" one) came back marked "Very Good" and needs (relatively speaking) minimal re-drafting. Still at least half a day's work, but better than it might be. I am hoping for no germs and no wild weather next Tuesday and then I will be able to tick off one whole term. And will only have a couple more re-draftings, a lesson plan and one big essay to do over Christmas.
The tutor that I thought was an old bag has turned out to be firm but fair and also kind. She knew I was having a teensy bit of an off week last week - because I told her at the end of last week's session - and she marked my big assignment early and fed her very favourable remarks back to me in an encouraging email. That really helped me get my confidence up for the lesson. The feedback today from my learner was that my lesson was "awesome". Remind me of this when I am down and whingeing again (next week?).
Herbs, my fellow students say that the device everyone needs is a combined laminator and guillotine. I have one of each, but am now wishing I had bought a more expensive laminator as I think I may wear mine out soon.

I should not be allowed out with a drink in my hand, FFS.

"Did you know X when you lived in Africa?"

"Yes. In the biblical sense."

Pause.

"CARNALLY."

Just in case a) he hadn't understood the first time and b) I felt he needed to know just how well I knew X.

I then added.

"I dumped him for his best friend."

And told him X's nickname, which was a) sexual and b) unflattering.

This is someone I work FOR.

My internet is working. For now.

Stropps, that's bloody brilliant about the massive assignment.

And MrsS, excellent .