Crepeyistmas Time, Camel Toe and Whine...

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Pandering to the uncouth...

Just for you, CV:

There was a young plumber of Leigh
Who was plumbing a maid by the sea.
Said the maid, “Cease your plumbing,
I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It's me.”

BD - sorry about your friend's news, that is very tough on them all. I hope the chemo has a good effect and that they can see it working quickly. NU - that awful about your friend with young dementia, how sad.

CV and QQ - respect for the tradesman wrangling and congrats on the new bathroom / stove. Although, once again I am that anyone has either. One of the online commercials that they shot at our house has come out so our living room hatch has a starring roll, as do our scary blue kitchen floor tiles. We had a very bizarre recce this week with people wanting to shoot a Korean pop video in our garden - I don't think we are what they are looking for, but how mad would that be?

Have just watched the Bette Midler special I went to see recorded and there were no shots of the audience at all! So why did I have to dress up? I could have gone in a onesie.

Crem - hope panto season not driving you mad, it must be so hectic. No more lost toddlers, I hope.

Links to commercials, Wilbur..??

Wilbur, I was watching that and wondering if it was the "do" you went to. She was very good, but a shame there were no shots of you looking all glammed up!
And I love the commercial (see why you need FB, CV!) - such a cool advert. And your house looks great too - what's to change?

So sorry to hear about your friend's little boy, BD

MI, sending you and your mum huge amounts of white light and good wishes for today. Thinking of you.

Wilbur, will look at commercial on FB. How exciting to have your house on t' telly. Our school is often on ads (currently starring in the gingerbread commercial for Waitrose) but no one would want our house. Very envious.

Hope you are better, lovely Rose and Hatty.

Stinking cold here, but just need to limp through til Thurs. 3 more days. 72 hours.

Ooh Wilbur - your house looks gorgeous. I have two questions - did they leave you the tree and where do you go when your house is full of people filming?

My shoulder feels a little better this morning as I got DD2 to massage the lumpy bits - she was really good; also I tried to sleep on my back but I keep flipping. I think I'll steer clear of ironing though.

DD1 is back from the Netherlands today so it'll be nice to catch up. Then I need to write a list of food and stuff I need to do before next week.

CV - fantastic to have a bathroom just before Christmas. I would be having the inaugural bath myself with bubbles and champagne.

Rose - how are you today?

Morning Crepesters
CV Mazel Tov to you and your penguin biccy powered plumber. Surely you have first dibs on the bath!
Mrs S where do you get these incredible things? I lol
Wilbur, that reminds me of dd and dh being extras in Good Vibrations m movie for which they were required to dress up as punks in the 80s. Sadly no sign of then in any scene despite frame by frame analysis.
MI have been thinking about your mum and treatment. Sending positive vibes to you and yours. You are all smart as whips afaics. But understand that particular obsession more than you know.
Watching the little year 1s come in yesterday made me wistful for dd in her 5 yr old form. Cute, interesting and garrulous, she was a funny wee character with a clumsiness that was endearing .
Herbs v impressed with your balancing Dragon buying/ lesson planning and bassooning. Marvellous!
Have a good day one and all

I must sling words onto the page and then zip to my interview (it is sweated labour of the type usually allotted to post-grads so I am going to be quite picky if actually offered a gig) and come back via the scented hell of Waterloo Lush. DD2 has completely f*cked up on getting her friends' Christmas presents. As ever I am caught between thinking "she messed up, her problem" and trying to show her that it is possible to sort things out without getting into a total state.

Thank you Monty, Hatty I am feeling somewhat under the weather still…blocked up etc etc but I am only permitted one day off duty in this horrible family. Sorry you've got it now Monty but glad Hatty's shoulder might be on the mend.

Cheering CV and QQ's completed house-works…and MrsS you are a naughty girl …I love your smutty humour.

MI I am hoping that your DM's scan will show some progress, shrinkage, remission. All my prayers to her and you x

I have a quiet day, although there's DS's parents evening to look forward to later. I have the offending Spanish essay as Evidence, (the one where the cow said she would refuse to mark another one like it and called him a spoilt child…and it wasn't even so bad…his first A level essay ever, and he still got 15 out of 30) should I need it. Tiger mother warning….

Off to scour FB for Wilbur's house ad.

MI, I can't even walk past a Lush without having a massive sneezing fit! DD was the same at that age - I remember dashing to Lidl at the last moment and buying up just about their entire stock of chocolate santa's!
This year she has bought online (and spent £££'s) but still managed to beg a few cards from me!

Monty, I often wonder which schools they are when ads/news, etc is filmed. We were on the news once. Luckily it was when I worked part-time, so I wasn't caught on camera!

Cremo, you are sounding full of beans this morning

Hi All,
CV glad you have a bathroom and QQ a stove!

Rose hope you feel better soon.

MI much strength re DMum and hope the news is good.

Thanks for all the positive stories re Hodgkins - I have everything crossed for them all and I cannot imagine what it must be like.

Here I have the meeting from hell (the on going saga) but at least by tonight it should all be over one way or the other....

MI - re bailing dd out, I would suggest considerably smaller gifts for friends than if she had sorted it out herself, so you get them a nice Lush lip salve rather than a bath bomb. So she gets the message that calm is possible, but that organisation and effort means better presents.

Ad with our house in it is here - but I should add that it is not all our house! The very nice hall with beautiful paint work, lovely windows and glazed front door? Not us. We are the blue kitchen with the roast potatoes being dropped on the floor, the grandpa doing Lego, the woman burning the turkey see through the hatch, and also the party at the end was filmed at ours although you can't see the house really. Hattie - they didn't leave us the tree but left a few small decorations and a lot of ginger ale which they were using for fizz. The shoots usually leave something - one of them left really quite decent curtains, far nicer than the brown velour we had inherited when we bought the house, so we've kept those up. When they come, we usually vacate for the day but are allowed to sneak back in at tea time and hide upstairs, the kids love seeing what's going on. It's almost always only the downstairs that gets used so it's not too bad.

Crem - being an extra in a film is always a bit hit and miss, shame your dd and dh didn't get a nice shot of themselves as punks. Dh does it occasionally following his periods out of work - he was very nearly on screen in Skyfall as Daniel Craig ran past him several times while he was driving our car slowly round Parliament Sq. He's a bit gutted Sam Mendes hasn't called him for the one that's currently shooting .

Excellent idea, Wilbur.

Any of you lot had PND and want to talk about it for a feature? And/or have views on (ha!) spring-cleaning?

A mysterious "Do Not Bend" envelope has arrived….is this my SS?

MI I haven't had PND but work with women who do, and teach about recognising the signs etc….prob not what you want but just saying'...

Oh yes I would LOVE to interview you for this piece! Please!!

MI, re Spring cleaning, I think you would need to interview my lovely cleaner

And stay in on Thurs morning unless you want to bump into us on our way to your local theatre

How did your mum get along today, MI? Was thinking of you.

Have finally sorted SS and it is winging its way to a Crepey. Now to tackle the Christmas tree and do a present audit. I think DS has way less than the girls but he's had a birthday and doesn't want much. Whose silly idea was it to have a baby on December 1st ? Mine.

Don't know yet - she had the scan mid-afternoon so I think won't hear how it was till tomorrow at least. Spoke to my sister while they were out.

In other news my day has been fairly shite, in all honesty: interview was faintly nerve-wracking (got lost on the way there) and adrenaline drained severely from me as I left the campus, just in time to download my emails and discover one from CDiff saying 'don't like that article, is there an alternative'? This is a feature that was agreed nearly three months ago, and which I have subsequently pulled together and written. Client appeared to feel I could just magic another one together (indeed, suggested an alternative subject matter) within deadline and budget.

Stalwart Publisher has now sorted it - I will have to do a rewrite but quite a light and easy one - but I was near tears. Real tears. On the train. Then went and bought half of Lush.

Oh, and I then lost my glasses at home in my office while trying to unblock the printer. Found them again only after more tears, both mine and DD2's. DD2 really not well. DD1 alleging she Just Conceals Illness Because Nobody Notices and she is Very Stressed and Her Life Is Awful. Also DD2's form tutor is leaving after just one term.

Also I have to send part of a feature to UKIP. Don't ask.

I am going to make an undemanding supper and wash it down with wine, ignoring my increasing width. I could, I suppose, have PMT for the first time in months .

MI, large glass of wine, that all sounds crap. I hoep news from your dm is good.

MI {{ }}
I am in a bad mood. Meeting - an hour and a half of my life I won't get back and I feel like I spent the last four months going round in a ruddy big circle...

Am

Would go to the pub but suspect it would end badly so am resisting...

Go to the pub and vent, BD. Always therapeutic.

Sorry about your day, MI. Sounds very trying. And possibly PMT-driven!

Today I have taught a lesson, not very well (though I was told I have great rapport with the class, and they love me), bought some bargain 99p shop tat, and gone to my first parent council meeting. I feel these may be a rich seam of people watching tales.

Irritating mum #1. Huge, tall glittery bobble hat with fur pompom. Worn indoors. Sat right at the front. Didn't know about the house system.

Irritating mum #2. Was the only one to bring her child with her, despite provision of a creche. Said child proceeded to pull books off the shelf, smash cups, etc, and wail. Then mother complained about sweets being given out by children when it's their birthdays. She was wearing an artisan hand knit.

I also mistakenly bought a dragon and knight on eBay.

Now for Masterchef the Professionals, while eating fish fingers, mash and sweetcorn.

I settled down for Masterchef too herbs... it's not on
Well done for class loving you - that's a huge thing.

MI, fingers crossed for your Mum's news. No wonder you're having a tough day and are a bit leaky eyed.

My dcs already off school and already a bit irritating - while they lie around my week is pretty full on. Roll on Friday.

Wine. Mince pies. The Missing. Ahhhh.

No Missing spoilers please ladies! I'll be watching it on catch up when DP is back...