Crepeys say Bah Humbug, (it's not Christmas yet)

[beachyhead]

Here we go

Hatty,

Crem, good luck with the interview preparation.

I have already made a cake - well it's in the oven. I seem to be fixated on baking atm and as there are only two of us in the house most of the time they are being distributed round the family. The problem is that I see a new recipe so I just have to try it. This morning's offering is a banana and walnut loaf with peanut butter icing (I don't even like peanut butter! ).

We're off to the football later and then going out for a Chinese with an ex-colleague of DH and his wife. We're eating at 5.30 so hopefully I will not be yawning all through the meal.

Oh NU I have been low carbing for 2 weeks and that cake is the stuff of my fantasies….ahead of David Cassidy and Mr Spock

That's it MrsS I got through my French A level having never quite mastered it DS2 on the other hand, being a natural at languages, breezed through it…. I don't really know what MAP tests are but if it's centiles, surely the average will be 50…and 88% is stunningly good?
at the reel to reel addle. I'm glad I'm not the only one who had indecent designs on Spock…
cremo I love the idea of uniform vigilantes!!! It is hard though to stop teens customising their uniforms. And to think, when I was at secondary school in the 70s girls were being sent home for wearing maxi skirts and lace- up bricks otherwise known as shoes, with huge platforms (anyone remember those?).

Well, I've done it, Crepeys. I have resigned from the choir where I teach. It's an odd feeling…a mixture of terrible, terrible sadness as it was originally my baby, and a huge weight off my mind. Maestro did something so stressful to me recently that I felt I couldn't go on. She is now schmoozing me and trying to make me feel bad but I have to be strong. She's all but destroyed my confidence

On a more superficial S&B note I took delivery of this yesterday. A keeper, I think and reduced too.

Rose, sad news about you feeling like you have been forced out of the choir, but look on it as a new beginning - something new and exciting will be around the corner

Love the coatigan - looks very cosy...

DH has taken DD2 to get her a new laptop. I am having a Good Clear Out, and hope that he can take all the crap to the charity shop when he comes back. DD1 has gone to Harry Potter World with the boarders and is not coming back this weekend.

NU - I am like that with recipes. I am still on the search for the Holy Grail of chocolate brownies. Nigel Slater's and Nigella's recipes are good, but not quite there for me. I have given up buying mimsy little bags and tubs of stuff for baking, and have resorted to industrial size - a kilo bag of cocoa powder, ditto of ground almonds and desiccated coconut.

I will have a think about the maths coach. She is doing OK in her regular maths class, but not in her extra maths class (she hates the teacher, which doesn't help, and I have to say that I didn't exactly warm to her) - I don't think she is even trying. We will Have Words, I think, about this next weekend. She is a strange child like her father. She had to do a presentation in French and English as part of the exam, and both teachers said to me that they were really worried about her, as she never speaks in class, but had no problem with the presentation at all. I've also seen her stand up and give a presentation to 400 parents in her last school, with no nerves at all, on a stage, with a lectern and powerpoint, yet if she is asked a question in class, she dies inside and won't answer.

MI still enjoying her holiday, I am pleased to report, and health restored. I have googled some of the places she has been, and it looks amazing, I must say.

MrsS, won't you need to order a skip?

I have realised, since the DC started at secondary, how important it is that they like their teachers. Is there any chance of changing the extra maths class for a different teacher? And well done her with the presentation - in awe!

Glad MI is enjoying her hol.

I am enjoying having the house to myself - DH took DS off to deepest darkest Norwich for a trials match at 7.30am and DD is coaching. I am listening to The Cure and drinking tea

I am listening to Soko and drinking tea, too, and contemplating a new Brownies recipe. Must get back to clearing out...

I am having a cup of Redbush and watching Soccer AM - they have just done a brilliant take off of the JL advert.

MrsS, try the Good Food chocolate brownie cake recipe - it's brilliant (or we think so at any rate). If you can't find it I will pm it to you. It's got pistachios in it. I have just found a recipe for Aubergine and Pork stir fry - we'll be having that one night this week.

Glad to hear that MI has recovered and she is enjoying herself.

DH has just opened his post and there is a leaflet for an aerosol to spray on his, ahem, bit - it promises instant stiffness and brilliant performance - we have been in hysterics imagining the application. I think he said that for £300+ you can buy 24 aerosols - the mind boggles. And DH is wondering why he has been singled out to receive this offer.

I think Crem's words are very wise and I agree about many of these things coming good with maturity. As GCSEs got closer last year, dd suddenly realised that not ending up with wall-to-wall A*s (because she had spent 18 months doing little or no work) didn't actually mean she was "thick". She also faced up to the truth about what happens when you don't put your back into something, i.e. you don't do as well as you could and it's no one's fault but yours. She is doing enough work to just about keep up at the moment, but she knows perfectly well that if she wants stellar A level grades, she will have to up her game - and she appears to accept that this is her choice.

I agree that the 88 centile sounds pretty damn good. I'm afraid I don't reckon much to the idea of tutors, especially if it's clear that the dc in question isn't trying their hardest anyway. I believe it's better to let the dc take responsibility for their own learning and actions. And there is also a huge amount of extra study that they can do themselves using the internet. There is a VAST amount of help available for free online. Has your dd looked at The Khan Academy, MrsS? That's all US stuff, too, so may be more appropriate that UK maths resources? Dd effectively taught herself for her physics GCSE using online resources - because she strongly disliked her teacher and as far as I can tell he genuinely wasn't very good. She got A*s in all the physics exams, but dropped a lot of points on her ISA, because the teacher dealt with that and dd simply never "got" it. I've also always told dd that if she doesn't like a teacher, it's tough cheese and she just needs to knuckle down and get on with the learning. She has a terrible track record in taking against teachers and then spending a lot of time shooting herself in the foot and blaming it on the teacher. Working with/for people you don't like very much is all just part and parcel of life. The competence of the teacher is a key factor, the likeability not so much.

Agree with BTM - my DD's can master anything if they
like the teacher. We do have a maths coach - he is brilliant and half the class has the same one so we end up with the ridiculous situation that there is a parallel course going on.

Rose - can't see your coatigan as it defaults to Wallis France which I didn't k now existed and shall now be browsing.

Aww Rudy, how lovely

Rose - sorry to hear about the choir but if it is supposed to be a fun thing and is dragging you down it's not worth it.

at MrNU's special offer.

Rose, sorry to hear that you have felt pushed into giving up your choir. Sounds as though it is definitely the right decision, though. It's not healthy to be constantly undermined. :(

Glad to hear MI is having some fabulous adventures. I do hope she shares some of the details with us when she gets back. I do like a bit of vicarious travel. :)

Re: teen girls and their lack of confidence - it would be wrong to apply this to all of them, but in dd's case, appearing to lack confidence is sometimes what happens when she doesn't want to take responsibility for herself. She is very fearful of failure and she would often rather not try at something (blaming nerves, lack of ability, etc) than give it a good go and possibly fail. She wants someone else to take responsibility and only feed her tasks that she absolutely knows she can do. She has spent the last couple of years really struggling with this, but I can see that she is making progress. We still have plenty of drama and wailing about how she is "too stupid" for A levels (yeah, yeah), but she is learning to pick herself up and keep trying. And accepting that she will always find some things easier than other things. And I am learning not to rise to all of her gnashing and wailing and but to listen hard to detect if there is really anything there that I need to know about and help with or whether this is all actually just growing pains.

Oh bum, I really need to get on with my giant essay.

And Rudy, how wonderful about ds2. What a lovely message!

Ah well, I would have that attitude to coaches and tutors: because we couldn't afford any of them even if we needed them. But I am convinced we don't need them.

Stropps, your DD is clearly very bright and I am in awe that she managed to teach herself Physics GCSE. That would be a step too far for DD! I do think you are right about them being fearful of failure (or not doing as well as they want) - this is definitely a problem for DD and she needs to build up a lot more resilience and determination. I am trying my best to encourage this, but it is not easy!

Rose, I left a choir which was dear to my heart but where I was constantly being undermined. That was the start of a process which has improved my singing and whole musical life and it's still going on. Hope it will be the same for you.

Hatty it's the black hooded coatigan reduced from £45 to £36.
Thanks all for the kind comments about choir. I'm feeling very tearful not least because of the emails I'm
Getting from maestro about my abandonment and how is she supposed to manage. It's quite awful.

Cross post Auriga. Thank you. I know it's the right decision.

"She has a terrible track record in taking against teachers and then spending a lot of time shooting herself in the foot and blaming it on the teacher."

Exactly - I keep telling her that the teacher won't give two hoots if she fails her IB, or doesn't put in the work, but she will, eventually, if not immediately. I rather love DD1's chemistry teacher, who is about 90, feisty and Scottish, and says DD1 won't fail chemistry, there is no reason why she shouldn't do it for IB and get a good grade, but she will have to put in more effort herself. She is arranging a peer tutor for her, which is just, I think, what DD1 needs.

DD1 is also slightly in awe of DD2, who bounces effortlessly through life with straight As, is one of the cool kids, life and soul of the party... just the sort of sister you don't really want if you are a nerdy introvert and lacking in confidence. I think if DD1 does well in her IB French next year (which she is doing a year early), this will be a massive confidence boost for her, and should set her on the right track.

I have filled one huge bin bag with clothes and bedding. I do not think we need thirty white cotton pillow cases, so am getting rid of twenty of them.

Next question - do I really need ten plain white cotton pillow cases?

Sorry to hear about your problems with the choir, Rose. It all sounds quite dreadful and no wonder you're upset and emotional. I like the coatigan, too.

The banana, walnut and peanut butter cake is excellent - definitely a keeping recipe.

I am sorry that I can't offer any advice about teenage daughters and school. It does strike me, though, that all the youngsters I see appear to be oozing confidence, but are probably a seething mass of insecurities in their heads. Poor things!

MrsS, re pillow cases, ten sounds about a minimum - if you want to change all the beds, you would need enough to put clean ones on them all?

NU, could you post the recipe please? I can at least drool at it if nothing else!