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Original poster

Forever Autumn Forever Crepey

994 replies

cremolafoam · 03/09/2014 14:01

The summer sun is fading as the year grows old,
and darker days are drawing near,
the winter winds will be much colder,
now you're not here.
I watch the birds fly south across the autumn sky
and one by one they disappear
I wish that I was flying with them,
now you're not here

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 13:25

Oh CremoSad Do you think they are in denial? Or are they not keen on the op?

New towels, BD? Get you!

Just had text from DH - apparently he has had email already from DS's tutor about being late and blazer/trainers. Great start!

MontserratCaballe · 04/09/2014 13:30

Herbs, that is so scary. I feel especially vulnerable with the kids in the car and so many people drive like complete fools, esp at speed. I have had many an A3 incident and feel your pain.

Crem, that doesn't sound good. Could your sister have A Word or would that not be well received? When are they supposed to be off?

BD, take it easy. Bathroom progress sounds most encouraging though.

herbaceous · 04/09/2014 13:36

Those with endurance might remember DS's trials at the end of last term, with bullying, etc. And that I had a meeting with the head to say what we wanted to happen at the beginning of this term, including a meeting with his new teacher, designation of TA as 'safe adult', etc. Well, so far we haven't heard a dicky bird. Dropping him off today I didn't even know who his teacher was, and no-one sought me out. No-one's approached about his eye issue (even though it's on numerous forms, and I have blown up at them before).

Naturally I can do the approaching, but I'm testing them to see if anything has been passed down by head.

DP is quite determined that we'll be moving schools, and in general I think it's wise. But get all cold-feet-ish when it comes to the actual 'doing', the awkwardness and DS's temporary disquiet.

bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 13:45

Herbs, don't feel awkward - your DS's happiness and safety is important. Go in tonight with the forms! Unless he comes out all smiles and enthusiasm, of courseWink

motherinferior · 04/09/2014 14:51

Wot BTM said.

Blackduck · 04/09/2014 14:59

Herbs BTM is right - you have to put ds first, and if, despite much pushing on your part, they haven't stepped up to the mark move him on....

herbaceous · 04/09/2014 15:02

Other grist for my 'moving' mill:

a) seemingly no provision for the 'more able' student. At home, he's reading Horrid Henry for himself. When I asked for more difficult books in his book bag than Biff and Kipper, teacher said 'we don't have them on this site'. He doesn't seem to get anything different to do while the class is doing reading and phonics, so plays up. I don't want him to be 'stretched', I just want him to enjoy learning and not be bored.

b) minimal/zero engagement with school. Parents never go into the classroom, do reading, trips, etc. There are no coffee mornings, and no meetings. We haven't met his new teacher.

c) general half-assed attitude to 'procedure', ie his eye. The anti-bullying policy wasn't on website until I nagged, and now it is it's very wishy washy. And in any case, wasn't being followed - teachers weren't intervening, and no contact had been made with any parents concerned, or me. He was once left wandering the main site, during a Christmas fair (so open to the road), when a staff member was supposed to have put him in after school club. No-one had taken a register.

d) no communication between staff. Despite me complaining for two months that he was being bullied at playtime, the teachers didn't tell the midday supervisor, so no-one was watching out for him.

Etc etc

Blackduck · 04/09/2014 15:19

Just move him. They clearly aren't on the ball so why should your child suffer?

Rosebag · 04/09/2014 15:23

Herbs Those are 4 very persuasive arguments forgetting DS the hell out of there. Go with your instinct. Its probably right.

Rosebag · 04/09/2014 15:23

for getting, not forgetting….

bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 15:29

Yep, go in there asap. They are very compelling reasons without any additional stuff.

Well I survived the first day with kids. One didn't turn up and an old one from last year appeared unannouncedGrin

DS has text to say he has been put with all the neeks. I think this is a good thing as they will not be drawn into his daftness. Hopefully!

lalsy · 04/09/2014 15:32

Herbs, we had d) with dd1. It meant what should have been fairly minor academic/pastoral/medical issues were not addressed and made her very unhappy and anxious. It got harder in some ways to find out what was going on as she got older. Every situation is different, of course, and moving school is a big deal, but your reasons seem very persuasive. Have you looked round the alternatives?

lalsy · 04/09/2014 15:33

Parents round the country rub hands with glee at that sort of text, BTM while outwardly sympathising Grin.

bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 15:38

Hmm, I am worried for the neeks - will there be a lynch-mob of parents coming for him/us?!
I have yet to ascertain who these neeks actually are...

He has been split from his best mate by the sound of it - he is also a kid with a lot of personality, and the two of them together in lessons is clearly not a good thing!

motherinferior · 04/09/2014 15:55

Herbs, agree those are reasons for getting the hell out. Also you would enjoy a friendly school with nice parents.

hattymattie · 04/09/2014 16:04

Herbs - move him - do not hesitate for feelings of awkwardness etc. DS is the most important thing and bullying aside, he sounds well ahead of the game.

herbaceous · 04/09/2014 16:33

Blasted heck. Just spoke to new teacher (she didn't approach me), and she said head had spoken to her about him, and she'd been keeping an eye on him all day, asking the girls to look after him, etc. And that the TA (from reception) was going to teach the teachers how to deal with his eye. Which is annoyingly nice.

However, HT had told new teacher that it was a one-off isolated incident of bullying, rather than the months that it had been going on.

Looked around one of the alternatives as one of his possible schools for reception, but have yet to see the other (CofE) alternative. The latter is stuffed to the gunnels with PLUs (People Like Us).

herbaceous · 04/09/2014 16:37

Oh, and the HT came into his class especially to talk to him. Which was beyond the call.

bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 16:44

Keep looking and see if there are places. If not, get on the waiting lists. You need options!

herbaceous · 04/09/2014 16:52

There aren't any places at the moment - we have to go on the waiting list. But I don't think they're too long. It's just we have to get current HT to sign the 'I want to move schools' form, thus giving something of a feeling of bridge-burning.

bigTillyMint · 04/09/2014 16:57

Get on the lists and get the form signed. If anything, she will be trying to appease you to stay, I reckon.

Blackduck · 04/09/2014 17:27

Agree with BTM. - by making her sign you are making it plain that you will move him if things don't improve rapidly.

wilbur · 04/09/2014 18:00

TBH Herbs, aside from the more clear bullying/communication issues, the lack of any books other than Biff and Kipper would have me Angry. A keen reader needs to be encouraged every step of the way - even dd who lives with her head in a book will just default to endless Warrior Cat stories if new suggestions are not waved at her occasionally.

Crem - sorry re the worry about your dad going away, I know how that feels. At least France has an amazing heath service, should he need it (although don't know how isolated their place is, of course).

BD - new towels, sigh. Envy

35 mins to first cocktail!

CointreauVersial · 04/09/2014 18:10

Snap, BTM - DS was also moaning this afternoon about the "neeks" in his Computer Science lesson - not being down wiv da kidz (unlike you Wink ), I hadn't heard the word before. Grin

Actually, he's not happy about several of his classes; after three years of slacking off and generally not applying himself in his core subjects, he's ended up in lower sets than he thinks he should be in. Hmm I warned him many times this would happen, as did his teachers; he may look down on his new "thicko" (his word) classmates but clearly they put the effort in and he doesn't.... honestly, he is such hard work. I'm still waiting anxiously for the moment when he "gets" it and starts knuckling down, but the sand is rapidly running through the egg timer.

Herbs - my goodness, the school sounds ever more incompetent, not just about the bullying, but everything else too. What codswallop, leaving him with Biff, Chip and bloody Kipper if he can manage something more challenging. Presumably it's all related to the fact that it's a new establishment. Has it had an Ofsted recently?

I have until Monday to finish The Goldfinch, before the library starts fining me. I might need a Wilbur-style egg timer to keep me off MN. Great book, but a lotta pages.

Rosebag · 04/09/2014 18:13

Are neeks a cross between nerds and geeks? Grin

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