Crepeys are an August bunch

[MrsSchadenfreude]

Here ya go...

Dear crepeys, I hope you had fun in the wild waters of ED and that noone got hurt. I had a good time with my friends (in spite of one if them being 1.5h late) but wished I could have joined you. Next time.

At swimming lessons. Gosh it is hot. I am glowing gently. Perhaps it is the red wine rather than balmy jags climate. Hmm.

Back later for a proper catch up. Have a good day

Hatty, an experience? Does he like theatre/opera/nice meals in fancy places/?

Hatty, very quickly, what about one of those lovely bound books with photos and stories from your family in it? I have done a couple and they are beautiful and go down really well with the older person who has everything. A bit like "this is your life" but in classic navy rather than garish red (and without eammon Andrews, god that dates me!). You can use hard copy photos as well as later digital ones, which is v handy for photos of people our age as children etc and it is a fab keepsake. Worth a thought (perhaps in conjunction with something else)?

Day out somewhere nice? I took my mother to Claridges for her 80th. How about a day out on the Orient Express? Theatre tickets?

I got home surprisingly quickly from ED last night. Once the bus turned up. Lovely evening, great Flammekueche.

Thank you ladies - should have said - we are doing the photo book thing. Also DM is of limited mobility and they are way up north so all those fab London things are no go. I'm noting the Orient Express for myself Mrs S. I have found I can get a presentation issue of The Times on the date of his birth which is a good start. Keep the ideas coming please.

Glad you all had a fun night last night - I'm always of Crepey meetups although I'd probably drink too much and end up falling over or something equally embarrassing.

NU, have PMd you.

Molly, it's for retired civil servants.

Hatty, making a fool of yourself is de rigeur on MU's - Ask Rudy about her bra-hat

Thinkng of you Rudy, hope all is going OK with your DM - update us when you can

MI, I have replied.

BTM, the tomato soup cake was lovely - I don't know what it tasted of, but not tomato. Possibly like a carrot cake but without the phaff of grating the carrots. DFr is letting me have the recipe so I can make it.

Oh dear. It's cancer, my mum says: large tumour (Molly, weren't you saying those are in fact easier to deal with) in bad position (touching kidney) so shrinking it first with chemo may not be the optimum. Bugger.

Oh MI, I am so very sorry to read this. Is there a treatment plan in place yet? Is your mum near enough for you to see her? What a terrible shock. So sorry. Thinking of you all

MI how dreadful.

We'll go and see her on Sunday. Taking lunch ("I will run something up", no I think not...) She'll have her treatment plan in place tomorrow, I think.

I'm really not very impressed. And at the same time realise how lucky I have been that I have not had to face anything like this before, so am feeling pathetic.

MI, so sorry to hear this and I hope you get more news soon.

MI - sorry to hear. Fingers crossed.

So sorry to hear about your DM, MI. Even when you are thinking the worst it doesn't help the shock. I hope that they can sort out a good treatment plan. It will be hard for everyone and you will be called upon to do a lot of supporting (the DC will be particularly difficult, thinking back to when my DF was ill). Thinking about you.

Sorry to hear that MI. Hopefully once you know the treatment plan you can sort out what to do.

Sorry to hear that, MI. What a blow. You'll need to give yourself some time to adjust to the news, in my experience.

There were a couple of places I found very helpful which offer support specifically to relatives of people with cancer. I'll pop back later and link to them. Will you have someone with you today?

Oh MI, awful news.

That's crap news, MI. Very sorry to hear that. :(

It all sounds very vague - she has a meeting tomorrow which appears to be a further examination, not one where they give her a prognosis, treatment options etc - DP has suggested I go to that meeting with her (after all, it's my job to ask questions of medical types!) but we don't know when it is.

She says her main job at the moment is stopping my dad panicking. This is Not Helpful.

MI this is not the news anyone would have been hoping for. But you'll soon know what DM is dealing with. The further examinations may be part of the staging of the tutor and planning of the treatment, perhaps? See if Macmillan can get involved. They're very good at being there at the initial crisis and say all the right things to shocked spouses and relatives. I do remember one of them saying to me that the crisis ( when the bad news arrives) starts to calm down after about 48 hours. I always think of that because she was right...I could then see the wood for the trees although the news hadn't changed as such. Strength and love to you all.
Hatty memories seem a better gift than things IYSWIM. Notonthehighstreet.com is quite good for ideas or vouchers.
Last day...homeward bound tomorrow. Can't believe everyone's in coats and have out the CH on!

Tumour not tutor...sorry

That is very helpful, thank you, Rosebag. I've also emailed the press officer at the Eve Appeal, who is lovely.

I'm sorry, I feel both self-centred and pathetic going on about this when I know a lot of you either have gone through this or are going through it at the moment.

MI, please talk here as much as you want to - and anyone who has been through this knows how important it is to have a place where you can say what you really feel, especially if family dynamics are at all tricky.

Don't worry, it's cathartic. This may just be my opinion, and my opinions are often a bit off-the-wall, but I would say: don't feel you have to go to the appointments. The professional staff are very good at helping the patient. There's plenty you can do, eg on the phone/on the internet after the appointment to find out more. Gotta be your decision, not moral obligation.