umm, err.. I need tips for removing arse hair <cough cough>

[Gatekeeper]

I have always been a Hairy Mary but at fifty it really is getting ridiculous! My bikini line is becoming my sock line- I can deal with this with shaving and epilating but the crack of my backside looks like I have a sporran shoved in. I have tried shaving and creams etc but always get a horrible rash which looks really nice with all the hair growing back

How can i remove it without getting a rash? I don't want it there anymore

I'm ridiculously hairy but have no idea about my bumhole
How can you see it? Does it involve mirrors and lots of twisting?
I don't always bother dyeing the back of my head because I can't see it, never mind shaving my arse.

I don't worry about the bits you can't see. Just the sort of fuzzy cloud emerging from the crack....

I'm laughing my socks off at the replies esp Lazypepper ..the thought of your ...ummm..exit hole being broadcast on 32 inch telly .hahahahahah

for those that don't know if theirs is hairy need to get the mirror out; I know mine is because
a) the GP told me
b) dh calls me 'polecate arse'
c) it is long (about 2 inches) and sticks out at a rakish angle

I recall my dear Ma buying me a bra and thong set for my birthday once; very pretty but I never wore thongs (see above). DH went on and on about me wearing it and me saying it would look awful etc and him saying "no you won't...put it on" etc etc. Well I puts the bugger on whilst he is saying "turn round, turn round"

I turned round and all he said was "oh"

Pah!

seekingcosmeticsurgery

is that a depliatory cream? Not sure as it says 'razorless' but then says it is a shave cream

the blurb on the website says it is for 'coarse bears' ..hohoho

It is, but I've tried zillions of them and none have been any good, apart from that one. It was designed for afro-caribeen haired men's beards!! lol

I too am blessed with a hairy (black hair!)bum. Which is reeeeally annoying, as the rest of my body (and head!) hair is fine and blonde.

I've had chemi burns from others creams, or they just haven't worked, or have left me with big , horrible shaving spots-picture me in the bath with salt water and a pin, eeek!

I have very stupid skin. I would say sensitive,but no, It's stupid.I can't shave 'cause I get a rash, I can't use bubblebath or bath salts...

I (skeptically) bought that stuff after seeing recommendations online for using it for the removal or pubic hair.

However, it says four minutes recommended, maximum 7. I experimented a lot-and my ass/pubic hair takes about 8 minutes to give in and bugger off.

It's cheap enough as well.

at polecat arse!

I use Veet. Be very careful about how long you leave it for though!

But whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????????????

I also want to know how you do a home wax on your butt?

I have mine done as I have Hollywood wax. It hurts way less on the butt crack area I have to say.

Wax all the way ! Had to get it done as started spinning last week and the combination of knicker seams and capri seams and hairy bum left me with a burnt arse ! I had to purchase sudocrem to ease the pain!

I have since waxed, worn cycling shorts and smothered myself in Sudocrem and can now spin some more ! Painfree ! Though still crap at it!

oh good

more weirdos oversharing with other weirdos.

excellent.

Fenton that is mumsnet.

But, why do you care if your butt crack is hairy.

No one see it, unless your into anal sex

bugger off Fenton

and for the why's??? among you

it is getting hairier and doesn't look good

and it gets in the way of a good wipe and I never feel as "pristine" as I should

There now- there's over sharing for you- I'm past caring although not past caring about sporran bum

Oh Nocomet, you don't know the half of it. The things people get up to down there!

what "sort of things"????

Oh, I don't like to say, gatekeeper. Some people don't stick to the missionary position. I've heard of a thing called 'doggy style' and something else called 'sixty-nine'. Don't ask me to describe them! There's more than that too!

It's appalling.

disgustin'

I just use veet strips. Takes a bit of contortion and careful positioning of mirrors etc but a quick yank and you're done. There is no way on God's green earth that I'd ever pay a stranger to do it though....

This thread is very funny and very comforting!

Glad to know my bum is not alone.

I know what you mean. I'm nearly 41 and it's got so hairy over the past couple of years. By 50, I just dunno. However, I am not going to get dh all used to it being all smooth. If you're up for for it, laser hair removal is good and permanent. I did my bikini line like this about 20 years ago and it's pretty much in tact. Sadly, I just have pubes all the way to my knees from outside the bikini line. I'd definitely recommend if you have the cash (or keep an eye out for wowcher).

Oh yes. Have had to resort to wet toilet tissues (you know 'Andrex wet and moist' or something equally dodgy) for the last few wipes to get a more pristine feel .

This thread has made me actually LOL at work. Not good!
Very, very funny replies! And I have been known to Veet - much easier than shaving.

Have a stiff drink
Take a couple of painkillers
Squat over a mirror
Admire your bum crack
Slap the wax strip on
Whooosh it off whilst chanting 'bum that is hirsute prepare to get cute'.

Crying with laughter. I think my actual erm hole is ok but I do have hairs around in that general area that I can never seem to remember reach.

At work, crying with laughter. Someone nearly called for a first aider!

Fox tail!