To hell with the notion we should all aspire to look French anyway

[madforgreentea]

Ok ladies, this is part venting, part seeking views on appropriate attire for our regular summer visit to 'France to visit my French husband's family.

This thread has been sparked by an off hand comment my husband made the other day when he saw me trying on Brora's botanical skirt in bougainvillea.

I have coveted this skirt since seeing it gorgeously modelled in brora's 2014 spring summer catalogue. How do you like it? I asked him. "Very British" came the response, which, when uttered by the french, usually means frumpy, gaudy, unflattering and lacking in sartorial judgment.

I was incensed. Not because he didn't like it but because what belies this comment is a rigid dictatorial view that if you're not dressed a la francaise it must be because you don't know how and lack taste (according to my mother in law). The fact is, I am just ever so fed up of the suffocating way in which left right and centre we are told we are supposed to dress as the French, look like the French, behave like the French etc etc. I love my French husband and his family and they have lots of wonderful qualities. But I cannot for the life of me understand why adopting aloofness, feigning nonchalance and working so hard at being casual whilst looking down on others who don't meet that standard at the expense of improving one's character should be attributes to which I must aspire.

So your views please ladies. Should I return said skirt and limit the 'faute de gout' mutterings from my french family and wear the usual typical French uniform or should I don the 'frump' defiantly and subversively?

people tree

BF dress

bf maxi

"Bonsoir's wisdom is sadly missing from this thread!"

Um. 09:31:20?

Oh! Apologies Bonsoir.

I'm all for artsy style but that skirt is gopping. You can achieve that bohemian look with better clothes if French style is not your thing.

Even Alice from the Vicar of Dibley would think twice.......

Seriously, no.

If fairtrade is a priority to you how about Seasalt,Nomads,Gringo,Komodo and EKO sense. EKO sense stuff is more sculpturally cut and is supposed to be inspired by Barbara Hepworth. They have pieces that can be layered up with interesting prints and it's all stretchy and goes up to a size 16-18 so might help with the breast size issue.

They all do kooky cuts and/or prints.

You could buy an up cycled skirt on Etsy. There are fantastic ones there. Alternatively you could buy some retro print material and make a basic A-line yourself.

The further south you travel in Europe, the more glamorous holiday and beachwear become. Obstinately refusing to change out of the sort of clothing to be found in Home Counties commuter belt ruritania isn't going to (a) endear yourself to your hosts (b) make you feel good about yourself, other than in a foot-stamping I refuse to even try sort of way.

Try WIT (Wearing It Today)'s blog for summer holiday inspiration from English shops.

Sadly I think Bonsoir has probably hit the proverbial nail. I don't think obstinate is the look i'm after. After a quick poll from some relatives in Italy the verdict has returned a resounding no.

I've opted for a black silk eileen fisher (oh dear, just as granny like) maxi skirt from ebay. it looks very flattering and the material is a dream. It's just lacking the joy factor. But I noticed brora have a dress in the same pattern in 'Adonis blue'. Much pricier as it's silk (great for playing with my 10 month old then...) but what do you think? Any better? Or should I just keep the skirt and make cushions out of the fabric? I do love that print...

www.google.co.uk/search?client=safari&hl=en-gb&biw=320&bih=416&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=FNGNU-nnLIS_O8SIgJAH&q=brora+silk+adonis+botanical+dress&oq=brora+silk+adonis+botanical+dress&gs_l=mobile-gws-serp.12...13276.15697.0.17066.7.7.0.0.0.0.444.1440.0j5j1j0j1.7.0....0...1c.1.45.mobile-gws-serp..7.0.0.IRXFzehVVlo#facrc=_&imgrc=ZHgiP37KDrs3NM%253A%3BOuHfSr9twH-buM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimages.brora.co.uk%252Fsubseason%252F14sum_1%252Fproduct%252Fwebsite%252Flifestyle%252Fzoom%252Fdd1432.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.brora.co.uk%252FProduct%252FProduct.aspx%253FWebShopCodeStr%253DS4%2526WebSegmentCodeStr%253DS2%2526WebCategoryCodeStr%253DCE%2526StyleCodeStr%253DDD1432%3B788%3B1171

Thanks to milmingebag for tips. I tried seasalt but I find their stuff hideous. I think the cuts are just terrible, like someone with no training. Though it may just be that they don't work on me. But I find them seriously frumpy. And the fabrics are cheap - viscose jersey, viscose jersey and more viscose jersey. I think they're trying to model themselves on brora and it's not working and ends up looking even worse than boden, the quality of which is just appalling given the prices and have only ever bought one tee from them and that was it.
Komodo have the ethical thing right but they just position themselves too much towards 'earth-chic' for my liking. I want excellent quality fabrics with impeccable cut and fit but without the hassle of made to measure (time and budget constraint at present). I've tried some great Nordic organic brands but they seemed to be cut for pear shape and I'm inverted triangle.
Oh well, shall just have to keep searching

I think the French way of dressing uniformly may have something to do with their schooling. All very regimented, quirks and deviation from the path not appreciated! When my DB and SIL lived there they found the homework was all about repetition, no imagination or creativity required.

However I often accompany a friend to Calais and Cherbourg, and I don't see much in the way of Breton stripes, ballet flats or cigarette pants there. You could swap the populations with those of any UK suburban town and visually not notice a difference.

Ah OP. I feel your pain. In fact I could have written your post. The French don't get florals, amongst many other things.

I was discussing these issues with DH a while ago and I said, yeah but don't I get a pass because I'm British? Him: er, no.

Trouble with the French is not just that they think they know best on dressing and a few other things (eating, appropriate places to holiday) it's that they are so DAMN JUDGY about people who do it differently. Seriously no concept that 'different' does not equal 'wrong'

I was going to suggest Shtoica, then remembered that it's actually French...

Have a look at Wall London for ethical, scuptural, comfortable, nice quality clothes in decent colours and very good fabrics. They have a sale on now.

A bit off topic, but wondered if those who know about French taste in clothes could help me here. I have quite got into watching 4 mariages et 1 lune de miel on TF1 (Four Weddings in England?) and I wondered why all the brides seem to wear these funny little frou-frou lacy, fluffy things round their necks and lacy, fluffy gloves. Why do the bridegrooms have such incredibly shiny suits? Why are so many of the guests dressed in black?
And from my own experience in this village, why don't people dress up more for weddings and funerals? Why the jeans and old cardies?

sod the French but please do not wear that skirt unless you are over 70 and going on a saga holiday

The french holiday makers down our way (SW france) tend to waft around here in white linen - men and women; head to toe.

Brits are optimistically in summer clothes, with a fleece chucked on the top. I can spot British women on the beach because they are so pale compared to the tan leather europeans wearing their quirky "Bodenesque" swimwear in retro fifties styles.

Finally our lovely locals (mainly farmers) tend to stick to sturdy shoes, floral housecoats or tabards and crewcuts - and that's just the women.

I had an exchange student when our children were at that stage, who gave me loads of frilly white outfits to wash and iron.
Here it is a look worn by stick thin elderly women with gold sandals and a rat-like dog on a lead.
I don't mind the skirt, but I wouldn't pay £150 for it. I could run it up on my sewing machine from a nice piece of chintz.

You could wear this on holiday in France, with a good pedicure, bag and sunglasses. Reasonable compromise?

Can someone link to French chic dressing. I have no idea how they dress.

This is how French women dress. There are loads of makes that do similar looks - Kooples, Sandro, Maje, Claudie Pierlot plus lots of cheaper ones.

That link doesn't work

I don't know either Bunbaker and I have lived in France for ten years and visited for forty years before that. But I can say that it is not how French women dress. It may be how some women dress, but I haven't spotted them yet.

I didn't spot french women dressing like that in Paris, Bordeaux or The Dordogne and I have never met a French woman in London who dresses like that either. Surely if that link is typical of the way most french women dress - they would have been easily spotted.

I have no doubt a few woman dress like that, as they might do in any city but typical - no way!

What about this website? Poetry

That's how a lot of under 30 middle class parisiennes dress these days. but we're mid 30s and dh family not Parisian. They're more Eric bompard than maje. Think ines de la fressange ( though not as skinny or tall as that).

The sad thing is that to fit the typical French silhouette today (whether de la fressange/ Caroline de maigret variety) you have to look androgynous - hardly the emancipated and enlightened France that one associates with revolution. It's an utter subjugation of woman the way that we're supposed to deny that we have breasts (even Acup women acquire breasts while bf) and are supposed to walk around in what could be men's clothes. But somehow that's supposed to be chic and sexy (because of course it's so unfrench and vulgar to do overtly sexy and far to 'premier degre' as they like to call it). But if you look like a real woman then you effectively end up having to 'hide' your body rather than celebrate your femininity. Aargh!

And I suppose that is why I liked that skirt. All that pent up rage at modern marketing telling women how we're suppose to look (and of course the owners of all of big design companies are mostly men...) and when you've been through childbirth and taken time to get back in shape (or not got back into shape) because you're putting your children first and making sacrifices for them which mean you can't always prioritise the gym or shopping (even if deep down you would like to) and when you see that that is what real women are, it makes me want to march through the streets in said frumpy skirt with banners declaring that women can be women and can be liberated enough to wear skirts like that and care about deeper things than just being trophies. and i'm not criticising women who bounce back. good on you i say. i'm just saying that i'm sick to death of the pressure and envy generated by marketing these days that tells (and here's where the french don't have any distance from the issue) we have to look a certain way.

Sorry, rant over, but you get the picture. So while I'll take all your good advice and stick to safe hues and shapes this summer, I'll still be fighting the prejudice and haughtiness at every opportunity.