To hell with the notion we should all aspire to look French anyway

[madforgreentea]

Ok ladies, this is part venting, part seeking views on appropriate attire for our regular summer visit to 'France to visit my French husband's family.

This thread has been sparked by an off hand comment my husband made the other day when he saw me trying on Brora's botanical skirt in bougainvillea.

I have coveted this skirt since seeing it gorgeously modelled in brora's 2014 spring summer catalogue. How do you like it? I asked him. "Very British" came the response, which, when uttered by the french, usually means frumpy, gaudy, unflattering and lacking in sartorial judgment.

I was incensed. Not because he didn't like it but because what belies this comment is a rigid dictatorial view that if you're not dressed a la francaise it must be because you don't know how and lack taste (according to my mother in law). The fact is, I am just ever so fed up of the suffocating way in which left right and centre we are told we are supposed to dress as the French, look like the French, behave like the French etc etc. I love my French husband and his family and they have lots of wonderful qualities. But I cannot for the life of me understand why adopting aloofness, feigning nonchalance and working so hard at being casual whilst looking down on others who don't meet that standard at the expense of improving one's character should be attributes to which I must aspire.

So your views please ladies. Should I return said skirt and limit the 'faute de gout' mutterings from my french family and wear the usual typical French uniform or should I don the 'frump' defiantly and subversively?

I think the skirt is pretty & would have worn it in the Eighties & Nineties

I am not a fan of the skirt either, but equally hate the French chic look. Everything is camel or navy and v boring. I'd much rather be wearing bright colours.

Also, the French look is very expensive - you have to have silk and cashmere and expensive ballet pumps instead of the £15 ones from New Look and it all has to be perfectly ironed. Tell your DH you'll dress a la francaise but it will cost a fortune.

That skirt is truelly hideous. I hope no-one thinks it represents British style

I think there's a big difference between what someone in Paris would wear, to what someone living in a village in Normandy would wear. Parisian style is almost exclusively monochrome, dull and safe, with colour being expressed by a little silk scarf. And I do think women in Paris are a lot smarter than in London. A woman who must have been in her 80s, at least, used to get on my bus most days. She was dressed in a very smart Chanel suit, Chanel shoes and bag, perfect make up and hair rigidly sprayed into a French pleat. She looked fantastic. But my God did she stink!

After your Dh's remark I'd be inclined to turn bolshy, & wear it with a certain British footwear.
Meet any snide comments with the helpful enlightenment that they are WELLINGTONS accompanied by mutterings of Waterloo & a British Longbowman's two finger salute
Don't retreat, they've never got the better if us before

I also have a French DH and he thinks British girls dress way better than the French (Paris). It's true they nearly always stick to black, grey, beige etc., even on the beach.

Perhaps your DH would prefer the skirt in the other colourway - French Navy?

My parents live in France and I don't think I've ever seen anyone dress in what people think of as French chic.

I would also be very concerned at your husband thinking that skirt epitomises British style.

That skirt is horrible! I sympathise with your husband!

I live in Paris but regularly shop in England for clothes for my holidays at the French seaside. Try White Company and Jack Wills.

Oh, the myth that is French Chic.

Maybe in 1950s high fashion, but not anymore.

My H&M clothes are the same as theirs.

Just have to say!

Parisians generally I find to be boring in their dress, black, navy etc.

Come down to my parents' holiday home in SW France (between Bordeaux and La Rochelle) and although some people are dressed well there's a real casual (tracksuits, trainers etc) look there too - not all the places but in Pons etc. It's not a one off either. There's a store called Les Halles which stocks the most godawful fashion going! We've seen in a few boutiques stuff that wouldn't look out of place on Bette Lynch!

Go to Bordeaux, La Rochelle, Cognac etc you get more style but... not all French are stylish.

I think it's the pattern that marks it out as British vs French. You don't see so many patterns in French clothing. They use accessories to liven up instead.

sleepdodger - ah E LeClerc - that's a hypermarche - where the parents have their holiday home we have a choice of Intermarche or E LeClerc. Le Clerc have a certain class of clientele shall we say.

dreaming - I should post the top I stupidly bought in Intermarche last summer - some sort of floral swirls, blue and red...

They also have tons of animal print (leopard).

And there is a fascination (at least in the small town where parents holiday home is) that you have a lingerie shop (again not brilliant), a few clothes shops, and then you have the souk type shop which seems to sell ethnic inspired bits and pieces (pottery, kilims etc) and clothing. which some of the more avantgarde French women embrace and swan around in! looking quite bohemian.

There is a difference between urban and rural French style but I think the French do summer wear very well.

Yes its boring and safe but its rarely goes wrong.

I feel like shaking pale British women I see walking around in hot pink !

Thanks for the comments. Looks like the consensus is in favour of something less granny-esque. I'll probably opt for something less risky as this is probably not a battle to be had (I know I'm going to be in for battles on plenty of other things regarding how I'm raising my children so best to pick 'em wisely).

Jack wills looks like stuff someone 15 years younger might wear but i think it looks slightly trashy and 'ladette' to be honest (sorry, maybe it's the way they've modelled it on the e-store). White company is,er...white so if I was going down that route I may as well just opt for the usual French uniform. The trouble is I also want to buy from ethical companies who trade fairly (without looking like i want to belong to a subculture - i still want beautifully made clothes) and I'm also a bit busty at the moment as still bf and so it rather rules out a lot of options. I could easily just go to Comptoir or gerard darel and get kitted out there if I want to pass as Parisienne (can't remember if they do above a size 12) but I just don't.

It's funny but the more knocks the skirt gets, the more I love it. I may yet keep it but don't worry ladies, it'll stay this side of the channel .

Thanks again for all the honest and witty views

If it's the print you love maybe you could have it altered? Or cut a strip off to make a little scarf to wear with your Breton?

We had a big event on last weekend ( a pretty stylish French village ). The most dressed up person (besides my British family) was the doyenne of the village in a ra-ra skirt.

I actually quite like the skirt in the first link - with the yellow jumper The OP's one needs some Hotter shoes to complete the look. I admire you for wanting to stick but they've hit a raw nerve. It's very difficult to feel confident after someone makes a negative remark about something you're wearing

I'd recommend something in classic, primary cut and colour.

Let me dig up a pic of my last trip of what I wore to France....

Here,tunic.

Fuck me, that is a horrible skirt (sorry OP!).

Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with your 'dress in what the hell you like' philosophy, that skirt screams 'naice mc lady of an age that has never worn trousers' (ie my 73yr old mum). Even if teamed with Docs.

Yes Bonsoir's wisdom is sadly missing from this thread!