Shiny Happy Crepeys

[Blackduck]

Over here all........

Thanks NU

Guess what, it's foggy again here! It would be lovely to be thinking about wearing lighter clothing but it looks as if it won't be soon.

DGC are coming for the day - not sure what we'll be doing, although baking will probably take place. I hope everyone is doing ok and has a good day. Good luck with family members who aren't well, I hope they continue to improve.

NU, it is going to be 16 degrees here today, so not boiling, but DD has gone off in her ski jacket!

Good your DD is feeling better Cremo.

One more week till Easter

Do you finish on Friday BTM? We don't finish until a week on Friday - seems a lifetime away.....
Glad DD on the mend Cremo.

Here it is foggy, but supposed to clear. I am not liking the getting up in the dark again.....

Hello everybody - glad fun was had by all on Friday and thanks for the pics on FB BTM. I can identify some of you but not everybody. QQ I wish I could get my hair to
look that good. I've reverted to dye, as my hair is a miserable salt and pepper giving me a grumpy old lady look.

On nits, I too had to cut DD2 with the kitchen scissors but luckily we're though all that now. The French seem to dose their children for worms regularly - I had to stop MiL as if a child was looking pale and tired it was obviously worms.

Glad your DD is recovering Crem - I was going to suggest glandular fever as it is er somewhat rife in the Lycée at the moment. I had told DD1 not to kiss or share bottles - then she got new boyfriend who caught it so we got DD1 tested - turns out she'd already had it without being ill. I didn't realise this could happen.

Off to start hoovering now - need to get the house straight as I have vegetarian German correspondent arriving on Saturday.

Yes And we get the Easter Mon off as an extra day

My (small bikini) Pants of Inappropriate Optimism have arrived. I am disproportionately cheered I may push the boat and order some larger ones too, though am also toying with yellow Woolovers (of course) cardigan...

Ahh we must be running a week behind. Finish on 11th and go back on 29th....

Hatty I am side on, grey hair, big nose talking to MrsS....

Crepeys, I think I should probably admit I am not in a madly good way at the moment. Not totally plot-losing but not great.

Anything we can do MI? talk on here if you can.

Just...low and tired. Sort of ongoing low and tired. The grind of freelancing, deadline/money worries, the half stone that won't shift, guilt about being such an utterly crap parent and about being so tired/busy/lazy I can't be a better one...worn down and fed up. I'm sure the clock changes after a crappy night next to SNORING BLOKE doesn't help

You are not an utterly crap parent - far from it - (although I do get where you are coming from), you are a clever, intelligent and amazing woman juggling a full load, and every so often that becomes too much. And the physical stuff as well, which is just, well, draining.

I sometimes think we just do too much, and try too much, and the occasional off load is needed (I threw a major strop yesterday re state of the house and pointed out cooking a meal once a year does not make up for the other 344....)

I am a pretty crap parent - just don't do enough to support my kids, either educationally or in other ways. Partly because I am TOO TIRED.

And I feel I'm on a hamster wheel of endless work and deadlines that won't quit (or, alternatively, not enough work, see whinges passim ). And Easter is coming up and with its attendant guilt of having to work while the kids are around...

Well MI if you are crap I am not sure what that makes me..... What don't you do that you think you should be doing?
This is what I mean about doing too much. I know the world has changed, but my parents didn't do half of what I do for ds (and they weren't neglectful, it was just how it was), and I turned out okay. Maybe we shouldn't be micro managing every minute. And yes, Easter is coming and I will be working a week of it (and only have the second week off because dp is going back to work and the grandparents aren't up to having him like they used to).

Stop comparing yourself with whom ever it is you are comparing yourself to!

MI, sympathies. I echo everything BD says. And I am another who is far from perfect at home. But I do a good deal more than my DM ever did! From the sounds of it, your DD's are doing very nicely, so you can't be going that far wrong.

I don't envy those of you who work from home/are freelance - I couldn't do it.

I have a few bullet points to add:

*Our default setting is 'guilty'.

• Benign neglect is a wonderful thing.

• You don't hear any man saying they feel bad for working during the school holidays.

I think I'm comparing myself to the many parents on MN and elsewhere who check their kids' homework and talk them through it and spend the weekends doing Energetic Things that Widen Their Perspectives. We haven't even booked our sodding holiday yet!

We all get by. Just about. But the house is falling to bits I can never invite QQ round and I'm a bit fed up.

Right - I 'help' ds with his homework but only to make sure he does it. I will not be doing as much when he hits secondary - his homework, he needs to be on top of it. I will be available to assist/clarify as necessary (as dp did yesterday)

Weekends - varies. This weekend he spent a chunk of time conquering far flung lands on the PC, played with a friend, cooked dinner...... not bad I don't think. And we haven't even thought about holidays this year (in fact I think it's a 'not happening')

I swopped stories with MrsS re bathrooms so if you want to discuss house falling to bits I can raise you on that one too ;)

You are doing fine, we are all doing fine....

and YY to Herb's extra bullet points....

MI, I second others. And I think parents of secondary school age kids who check their homework regularly are, frankly, bonkers (unless they have concerns about the school or their child). My work has really dried up recently, but I still seem behind on everything else, and it is grim. Freelancing plus parenting is a recipe for feeling bad at everything, IMO.

Can I recommend going out to work in the holidays (ie taking your laptop to a nearby wifi cafe if you have one or library)? I have done this and get home at lunchtime with a few solid hours under my belt, miss out all the nagging to get dc up etc, stupid questions about where's the jam, we all feel quite pleased to see each other, I am only round the corner (I know your dc are younger than mine). And it gets other people's socks and piano lessons out of your head.

Beachy, so sorry to hear about your poor dog.

Crem, I like your dad's spirit. Hope he's home free soon. (And your mum is bearing up)

MrsS, hope you are looking after yourself. And I love your new haircut! I have spent two weeks with my hair sticking straight up after my shortest-for-years haircut, but it is finally calming down now and I rather like it.

MI, phooey to you being a bad parent. You are knackered, is all. I almost NEVER help either of mine with homework. It's for them, for crissakes. Nobody ever helped me with any homework and I didn't expect them to (although actually I did occasionally ask my pa to help with the odd bit of Latin, as he had a Classics degree, but he was so pompous and pernickety that I soon gave that up ). I have a certain amount of contempt for that breed of middle-class try-hards who barely even let their dcs near the homework. Was talking to someone the other day who actually and in total seriousness expressed surprise that I even let my dcs do their homework themselves. WTAF??? Helicoptering at its worst, if you ask me. And the fact that schools seem to reward this sort of behaviour is crackers. Dd will ask me for help with French and German grammar occasionally. Fair enough. Nothing else.

Oh damn, I now have to rush out with the dog before whizzing back to school for more invigilating. No time..

MI what everyone else said plus do not pay to much attention. to MN - I don't think it's probably representative and half of them are probably bluffing. I cannot help DC's with homework as it's in French plus the maths left me behind long ago.

Am always reassured by houses that need work. There are some people round here I'd never dare invite for dinner.

It's true about DH's never feeling guilty - even when they plonk themselves at the table in the !middle of the living room at the weekend grr.

I am most cheered and may divert self with yellow Woolovers cardie. Thank you all.

MI, some of those parents are way too helicoptery!

I don't help/check any homework unless the DC specifically ask (rare! and I never had any help with mine) and the days of museums and "improving" days out are long gone (thank God!)

Lalsy's plan of going out to work sounds like a good one - your DD's are old enough to be left for a couple of hours now anyway. And y, y, y, when do DH's ever feel guilty? About anything.

I think QQ's gorgeous home left many of us feeling And I agree that houses are an ongoing work.

Only got time for a brief post, MI, but from my perspective you seem an amazing mum and partner. You are funny and articulate, obviously care very much for everyone and are supportive of anyone on here who has problems, ready with good advice or encouragement. And 99% of us have things that need doing around the house. I can remember moving from one house and DH finally put a narrow strip of wallpaper on which had been missing for years behind the door. Treat yourself to your lovely yellow cardigan and know that you deserve it.

Having a pottering day today. Dusting and sorting my 'dressing table', which is unearthing all manner of ancient bits of make up. Lots of things with BBE dates of a few years ago, or an odd film of oomska on the top.

DP is cooking a health-giving vegetable stew.

I too am feeling vastly fat. Having downgraded my 5:2 to 6:1, and finally 7:0, and not doing any running due to foot problems, I'm just vile. Have bought two new Davina DVDs as part of my '30 minutes every morning' regime. Also, no snacking. Or finishing off DS's leftovers. And one day fasting a week.

If I lose 5lbs I'm going to buy some white and silver brogues.