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Original poster

La Vie en Crepe

999 replies

motherinferior · 12/01/2014 16:41

And a new door opens...Grin

OP posts:
Blackduck · 03/02/2014 10:09

Oh Herbs :(

wilbur · 03/02/2014 10:09

Hope it's all ok herbs - sympathies for having to be with him when he goes under, I have only had to do that once for ds1, and once was enough. Enjoy the Byron burger later though. Grin

Got a text from ds1 on the way to school this morning, OMGing about Philip Seymour Hoffman (aka the actor from The Hunger Games). So, so sad. A really shocking one, that one.

Had a lovely day yesterday - ds2 did a boy jog (which is like a ladyjog but approx 40 times faster and involves grinning happily throughout) round Battersea Park in the sun while I drank a coffee, then amazingly delicious lunch with friends who decided to bring out their new BBQ and do pulled pork and hot smoked salmon from scratch, and then dh went out on his film shoot so I got the sofa to myself all evening. Absobloodylutely marvellous.

Talking of ladyjogs, I have downloaded a couch to 5K app to my phone... Don't hold your breath though, I'm not known for cracking on with things - I have also just started working on some curtains which I bought the fabric for around 2 years ago...

NUFC69 · 03/02/2014 10:10

Thanks for explaining, Herbs. I know exactly how you feel - we never ever get over not wanting our children to face pain and distress. I cried every time my DD went for her eye operations. The way I cope with some things is to think tomorrow (or whenever) this will be over. I presume in your DS' s case he will have to go through this more times but this time tomorrow this particular time will be past.

Stropperella · 03/02/2014 11:00

Oh Herbs, I hope it goes ok for ds - and for you.

I had to google Byron Burgers - they look nice :)

As of the middle of last year we have a branch of Wagamama in our little market town, which is how come we managed the fancy takeaway on Friday. Apparently, a bunch of urban hipsters have been imported to staff it. Dh says it's all about "over-priced pot noodles" but the dcs and I quite like it for a treat. Maybe we will get a Byron Burger one day... :)

I'm afraid I am not on tremendously good form. Am having baaad thoughts and all that nonsense. I doubt the GP will have any answers, but I might have to go and see him anyway. I am also hugely irritable and my concentration is shot to pieces and I want to hide under the duvet. However, dh has just got a reasonable-sized job in which I can do half of and this will probably be therapeutic (frayed concentration notwithstanding), as it would be immensely beneficial to think of things other than that which is cluttering my mind at the moment.

Friday night went ok. Spent Saturday doing the usual swimming lessons blah and then lunch at dm's with db and family. Yesterday, ds was grading at taekwando and got a distinction again. I'm sad to say I would rather have been under the duvet than attend any of those things, but at least I went and did my duty and looked pleased when I was supposed to etc. I did (unusually) 'fess up to dm on Friday that I was feeling a bit odd and she now tells me that she suffered extreme anxiety/depression for years and was prescribed all sorts but refused to take anything. Particularly bad when she was pregnant with db apparently. Which would probably be why she was so unpleasant to me back then, I suppose. As df clearly had what would now be described as PTSD as a result of his his war-time experiences in North Africa and Burma, it's not surprising the atmos round our gaff in the 60s and 70s was rarely joyous.

Gah, I haven't had an episode like this for several years. Am completely stuck up my own backside. The view is rubbish. And apologies again, I hope I will be back to normalish soon.

QueenQueenie · 03/02/2014 11:18

Look after yourself Stropps and be kind to yourself too. Glad to hear the weekend wasn't too bad - I find if I am having a hard time for whatever reason weekends can be the worst with all the family milling around at home together. Surely it can do no harm and might just possibly be helpful to go to the GP asap and see what they suggest? If you need to spend some time under a duvet then maybe you should do just that. Thinking of you. X

Original poster
motherinferior · 03/02/2014 11:29

Yes, I think a judicious balance of duvet and occasional gentle urging self out is probably the best.

My entire computer has now crashed. I have moved to DD1's. The apostophe's situation has been resolved (software at her end) but I really have a bit of a knot in my stomach at the idea that everything on my hard disk might be inaccessible...

OP posts:
Blackduck · 03/02/2014 11:54

Stropps - hi, glad you weekend was okay(ish) - thinking of you and like QQ said, look after yourself. Wagamama - get you - no such luck here.

I am putting off phoning the dentist, but a lump of tooth (I think) fell out last night.... (no pain or anything, but I guess I shouldn't leave it.)

Meanwhile ds has been offered a place at a fee paying school - which is pleasing, but I suspect it's the local Comp.........

MI - crossed fingers PC is okay and everything can be salvaged!

Original poster
motherinferior · 03/02/2014 12:04

Stropps, do remember that if and when you need to escape for a weekend - and I find, working from home, that just getting away is v beneficial - many of us can afford you a spot of space. And you can just lurk sub-duvet all weekend. We will cluster around you offering life's essentials like soup and vodka Grin

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 03/02/2014 13:01

" Am completely stuck up my own backside. The view is rubbish." Strops, you certainly haven't lost your way with words. That made me chuckle. Grin Anyway, do go and see the GP, and if he/she isn't making any sensible suggestions, shop around for a new one.

Herbs, be brave......

Wilbur - Couch to 5k?? Didn't we first encounter one another on a C25K thread? You have "form", clearly.

I've heard a little more about the nightmare party this morning - apparently, she invited 300 people. Whaaaa??! She's 14. One of DS's distant friends had to be taken home very drunk at about 8pm; apparently today's teen doesn't bother with the cider-and-beer "rite of passage" that we were used to in our day - they move straight onto the neat vodka. Shock I do have a fairly sensible son, but I feel a "little chat" coming on.

bigTillyMint · 03/02/2014 13:21

Stropps, look after yourself.Get along Great that your DM admitted her difficulties - my DM would never have a conversation like that with me, everything has to be hidden away/erased from memoryConfused And you would be very welcome here too in our luxury spare roomGrin

CV OMG about the party!!! Vodka is the alcohol of choice here too - easily hidden in coke, etc in a rucksack... There have been various tales of drunken parties since DD was in Y8 - a particularly precocious group of teens in her year group seem to have done everything else too alreadySad It's all about helping them to manage trying things out I guess

QueenQueenie · 03/02/2014 13:26

DEFINITELY have the chat! It's so different for them than in our day and you're spot on re the teetotal to neat vodka apparently seeming a good idea to many teens.
I had a rather sad conversation with ds2 (14, nearly 15) recently. I said it didn't seem like many people had parties anymore. He said they did and he was invited to a a fair few but the people who had big parties were the people who were the drinkers and drug experimenters, that it would be hard to go to such a party and not join in as people would tease and mock you - unless you were sooo super popular that you could get away with it - so he chooses not to go. Sad

Original poster
motherinferior · 03/02/2014 13:36

Oh god, I was not aware of this abrupt zooming up; I too was vaguely thinking that surely they work their way up.

I suspect I know one or two of the done-it-alls in your DS's year as well, BTM: as well as one or two girls who are finding it hard with the pressure to do parties/boys etc when they really don't want to. DD1's decorous pizza evening seems suddenly v restrained. And yes (I see you at the back there, QQ and NUFC Grin) I do know that she's quite capable of going from 0-60 herself...

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 03/02/2014 13:38

Oops, meant to say get along to the doc - a pesky child interrupted meGrin

QQ, I think that is sadly very true. DD has only been to a couple of small parties, but has had the odd drink. DS has also been to some, but they (turning 13) have been closely supervised. I dread to think what will happen as they get older.

bigTillyMint · 03/02/2014 13:40

MI, there are definitely plenty of DC of DD's age who have not been to any parties yet. So don't panic too much!

Original poster
motherinferior · 03/02/2014 13:42

There was a huge one at the beginning of this academic year, apparently, BTM, given by a Y8 who's a friend of DD1's from primary...I only know this from another child's mum - friend of the birthday girl, not exactly over-protected herself, who rang and said "I'm coming home, there are masses of people and there's booze".

By a series of weird coincidences I was in fact in with the in-crowd who had parties like that, back when I was 14 or so.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 03/02/2014 13:48

MI, that might have been the one that DS said he didn't mind when we said he couldn't go because we were doing something else! I do remember some tales about one in his year group where apparently the parents were in inviting the children to join in with the spliffs, etc...

cremolafoam · 03/02/2014 13:50

Oh Stropps , I hope the gp is helpful.
I occasionally get confessions out of my mother although not always helpful. ( just put a spot of whiskey in the baby's bottle ; that's what I did ..)
Maybe things would have been different if your dm had taken her meds , maybe it wouldn't.

Herbs hope the wee man is ok today
And you manage the 321 without wibbling.Smile my fingers are crossed for you all.

I have internet on the plane . Tis the future Shock have had a terrific holiday without dh having any form of airport-related breakdown . That's a first .
Back to porridge tomorrow . Skol!

NUFC69 · 03/02/2014 14:07

Stropps, so sorry you're having a bad day; I would go to the Gp asap if I was you.

Ah, parties - shudder - vodka seems to be the drink of choice for teens here, too. A few years ago DH found a half full bottle of vodka hidden in one of our trees (leylandii)! Actually we have also found a torch, handbag and a new bike for an approx 7 yo in the hedge too.

And I have very clear memories of DH having had the "talk" with DS when he had his first serious GF. The following morning at 6.30 am angry phone call from GF's DM accusing us of trying to lead her DD astray! We were of course just trying to protect them both. (Many years later the DM did apologise. )

I hope it's all over by now, Herbs.

Original poster
motherinferior · 03/02/2014 14:09

Yes, Stropps, GP.

(I'm not worried about DD1 and parties - she's a sweetheart and v pretty in my obviously really objective view, so I'm fairly sure that many partying opportunities will come her way in due course!)

OP posts:
lalsy · 03/02/2014 14:23

QQ - I think that's really normal for that age about parties - they seem to stop for some kids for a while as they make the transition. I wouldn't worry - in my limited experience it all happens, just a bit later when actually they are physically and emotionally more resilient and less vulnerable.

Stropps, I hope you feel better. And agree with everyone else - do get some help - I know that can be hard when you are feeling like this but it sounds exhausting and anxiety inducing - which won't be helping.....

herbaceous · 03/02/2014 19:04

Bloody hell. How daunting about parties. Though I did a good deal of 'experimentation' with booze at a similar age. Still can't drink Martini Bianco.

All well at the herb homestead. DS sprang out of his GA, and was tucking into the driest-looking sandwich five minutes after coming back from recovery. He then whinged throughout our 'gourmet' treat burger meal that it wasn't McDonalds. No change there, then.

I did have a small blub after I left the anaesthesia room, once I didn't have to plaster a cheery smile on my face. But he was SO brave and amazing. Only crying for a couple of seconds when the cannula went in. They kept calling it a 'butterfly', but he wasn't convinced.

Now utterly shattered, in that way that emotional days make you. But have to go to choir. I'd give it a miss, but I'm 'on teas'.

NUFC69 · 03/02/2014 19:17

Great news that you are both back home, Herbs. Typical about the burgers, though.

We had the joy of Ikea this afternoon with DGS so I am knackered, but he does love the kitchen department (am convinced he's going to be a chef, or cook-er as he calls it). Think an Ikea family card is called for, to add to my Waitrose card and John Lewis card - might never have to buy a hot drink again!

Blackduck · 03/02/2014 19:24

Herbs fab news! Glad it went well - and :) re the burger!

Ds has never been in McDonalds - 10 (nearly 11 years) not sure how I've managed that!!

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/02/2014 19:50

QQ - same here with parties. Last year in Paris, DD1 went to a party and phoned to be collected after an hour or so. We arrived to find her and her friend waiting on the street - they said there was a lot of alcohol and some people were smoking dope and they wanted to come home. Same with a party at her new school.

Herbs - glad it all went well.

Yes Stropps - GP!

beachyhead · 03/02/2014 20:05

Glad you are home, Herbs and echo the Martini. We used to drink it out of mugs at school Grin I was 16 though!

I hope the GP can help Stropps. It seems the logical way to go.

My dd hasn't refused a party yet, but when asked to a rave last weekend told her friend she'd rather eat her arm off Grin she likes an early night and knowing where she is going to sleep!