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Style and beauty

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What does mumsy look like?

499 replies

appletarts · 26/04/2013 20:16

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin · 29/04/2013 13:23

of course I am not sniggering ! FFS I am well aware that there is a deeper world out there, with major shit going on! in the grand scheme of things, its not important

OP asked what looked mumsy, people replied. end of

juneau · 29/04/2013 13:23

I think the reason so many of us are 'mumsy' is because we don't have the time and sometimes the money to be bang 'on trend' any more - and that's if we even care or want to be.

When I worked I used to browse shops during my lunch hour and go clothes shopping regularly. In the past three years I spent nine months pregnant and since then I've had precisely zero time to go browsing and trying stuff on. I managed one day last Sept to go shopping FFS! I do flick through fashion mags and I suppose I know what I SHOULD be wearing, but with DS2 only just starting nursery last month this is really the first time in a long time that I'll have the time to shop and be more focussed on how I look.

fromparistoberlin · 29/04/2013 13:25

I think that some people dress mumsy mainly because they have had babies and mistakenly think they are "fat" and "old"
and that more on tend stuff will make them look silly
which I think is a bit of a shame

but I also agree time is a major factor

and some people dont give a fuck! fair enough

I only started dressing better again when DS2 was 1.5 years old, and mainly cos my job demanded it!! !

woozlebear · 29/04/2013 13:29

No, clearly your whole post was written in an entirely non-sniggery way. My mistake.

kerstina · 29/04/2013 13:31

This thread seems to be hitting a raw nerve with some people Sad
I don't feel mumsy but when I look down at my clothes I realise I probably am! Live in the same cardigan coat thing. Make no effort with hair just tie it back.
I ordered a dark denim biker style jacket yesterday(inspired by this thread) from Asos in a bid to look a bit edgier. It will probably look ridiculous but it was a bargain reduced to £18 from £50. I would link if knew how to do them!

fromparistoberlin · 29/04/2013 13:36

i agree, I understand completely what OP meant, but judging by responses it has made some people feel like shit!

I was being sarky, but clearly landed like I am a bitch that sniggers at people that wear fleeces

hey ho Sad

woozlebear · 29/04/2013 13:37

I'm going to get off this thread now, but I just want to say one thing.

The thread is not the problem, as I see it. YY, the OP asked a question and she's getting answers. Fair enough. Sadly, that's not 'end of'. There's a fair bit of pity, judgment and mocking. And it is entirely one-sided, all aimed at this perceived 'mumsiness'. No 'mumsy' people are mocking, judging or pitying those who 'make an effort'. I find that interesing, and Sad.

MrsMarigold · 29/04/2013 13:45

Great idea bunbaker - my mum actually gave me one pink gingham with hand sewn embroidery, I'll dig it out.

MrsCampbellBlack · 29/04/2013 13:54

These threads always cause offence. Which is why I'd personally see threads that focus on positive stuff so looking a certain way rather than not looking a certain way - hope that makes sense.

There is quite obviously nothing wrong in not wearing make up/not bothering about clothes etc etc but equally in S&B a lot of us are very interested in this stuff.

Generally S&B is a very positive section and I think its very sad if it ever makes anyone feel bad about themselves.

Sallystyle · 29/04/2013 13:55

Kate Middleton= Mumsy imo.

I love her, she is beautiful but I think she looks mumsy.

Tweet2tweet · 29/04/2013 14:09

I am a mum and may look like one- what's the issue? I have friend going through IVF who would love to look 'mumsy'. Stop reinforcing the stereotype that women 'should' look a certain way.

Men are not described as looking 'dadsy', so why as women do we have to create belittling titles for other women.
Boot cut jeans= staple to style and being cosmopolitan in Europe
Fleece= practical and doesn't necessarily have to be out dated, some very high tech and well fitted fleeces out there
Ankle boots= so many different types to look fab
Hair= whatever an individual wants!

Women should wear what they want and forget about what everyone else thinks.

Plathism · 29/04/2013 14:11

Exactly MrsCampbell, clothes, hair, makeup etc are something to be enjoyed, if you're interested in them!

I can see why people get offended by the term mumsy - it does imply that looking like a busy mum with no time or inclination to dress up is bad thing, which suggests that we don't have much respect for the role of mothering. Picture an old, male professor who is very unkempt and grizzly with wild white hair and beard - we have a lot of respect for that look, even though it's outside the norms of what's considered attractive, because we read the look as meaning the professor has much more important, respectable things to be getting on with than caring about his appearance. The mumsy look doesn't command the same respect.

Francagoestohollywood · 29/04/2013 14:33

Kate Middleton looks pretty gransy, more than mumsy. She is adorable, but needs a stylist to transport her to the xxi century.

I often look mumsy, btw. I don't care.

Catlike · 29/04/2013 14:47

Going by the replies on this thread, there are two kinds of mumsy then. The fleece wearing, unflattering short haircutted 'don't give a shit what I look like' kind of mumsy and the 'does make an effort but clothes are hopelessly passé' kind.

From reading previous threads about "mumsiness", it does seen that any type of look that's adopted by many women who have kids ends up being derided as mumsy, even if it's actually flattering and arguably stylish.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 29/04/2013 14:50

Agree with the poster who said 'anything bought in Next'. Passed through Next yesterday and you couldn't give away any of that shit to me for free. Awful.

Francagoestohollywood · 29/04/2013 14:51

Next is evil.

LapsedPacifist · 29/04/2013 14:52

Will someone PLEASE explain to me why 'COMFORTABLE' shoes = the worst possible sartorial boo-boo? What the effing chuck do you lot think your feet are actually FOR? The alternative to 'comfortable' shoes can only possibly be shoes which are not comfortable and are therefore not fit for purpose!!. Shock

Are you all carried everywhere on a litter by Nubian slaves? Or are you rich enought to be able to afford to drive wherever you go?

I have no intention of spending the rest of my life like some middle-aged Little Mermaid, unable to move 10 paces without feeling I'm walking on red hot knives.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 29/04/2013 14:53

I think being a mum does not stop one wanting to look fuckable. Mummy's fleece and bootcut jean scenario is not even wankworthy. Married with kids but I still aim to look pretty attractive.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 29/04/2013 14:54

You can get comfortable, attrctive looking shoes though. Ballet flats for example.

Francagoestohollywood · 29/04/2013 14:55

There's comfortable shoes and comfortable shoes. I'd try to avoid the plainly ugly ones.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 29/04/2013 14:58

I agree Kate Middleton looks mumsy. She always look so safe and old.

noddyholder · 29/04/2013 14:58

property thats a terrible turn of phrase

Fuckitthatlldo · 29/04/2013 15:00

Woozle your post comes across as very defensive. Notice I made it clear that women's self esteem was boosted by, rather than dependent on, looking good. That's true, whether you like it or not. The vast majority of women are not happy when they feel they look awful.

Not taking any interest in ones appearance is also a very well documented sign of mental ill health. It's not a ridiculous statement at all. Again it's true, whether you like it or not. I agree that there are questions of degree however. One persons taking an interest is anothers impossibly vain, fair enough. But it is often a symptom of low level depression when women stop making much of an effort with themselves - this is something I have noticed both personally and professionally. Stating that doesn't mean I think every woman wearing fleece is mentally unwell for goodness sake! You're putting two and two together and making five.

If you're happy with the way you are then good for you. But you don't present as being very happy with the way you are when you feel the need to come and shout at strangers online for expressing a view. If you don't care and are perfectly happy with the way you look, then why are you even in this section reading this thread? It's perfectly clear I've touched a nerve.

And actually Plathism, these exact same things hold true for men. They are not under the same societal pressure as women to be appealing, for sure, but they still feel better about themselves if they feel they look good, just like everyone else. The entire animal kingdom makes efforts to preen and look attractive to potential partners. Humans are no different.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 29/04/2013 15:01

And catlike yes, I think you are so right about this:
From reading previous threads about "mumsiness", it does seen that any type of look that's adopted by many women who have kids ends up being derided as mumsy, even if it's actually flattering and arguably stylish.

Basically the whole premise is deriding people that look like a woman who have kids. It's basically the look of a normal mum (even those that makes an effort) vs the likes of Miranda Kerr. I've seen people deriding those mum style bloggers too. Honestly I thought many of them look great.

fromparistoberlin · 29/04/2013 15:06

Fuckitthatlldo Wink