What does mumsy look like?

[appletarts]

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

[fedupofnamechanging]

I definitely think there is something very appealing about self confidence and being comfortable in one's skin. I think that maybe the 'problem' is on dressing to hide oneself - to look invisible. I truly don't think it comes down to specific items of clothing.

[mathanxiety]

Karma it's possible I am doing something horribly wrong when I scrub up but the times I have received what I thought were heartfelt compliments from men on my appearance were the times I went out in a hurry (probably in sweatpants, white socks, sneakers and some grubby T-shirt) to take one of the DCs to buy some emergency piece of sports equipment like a mouthguard, or out to the hardware place to get some vital washer, etc., without even time to shower that morning or attend to my hair. I would have considered myself unkempt but obv there are men out there who like 'unkempt' maybe the hardware store is where they all congregate at the crack of opening time on Saturday mornings, waiting for frazzled women to burst in with that wild 'I need a 3/8 inch washer and I need it now' look in their eyes..

[Ubermumsy]

Is that what my great aunts would have called a "shampoo and set" splat? Ooh, ugh....

I was amused at a thread on here recently about how to wear boyfriend jeans. Trust me: if I were to don the suggested combo of BF jeans, t shirt, blazer and neon courts, I would look quite the plonker.

[Rulesgirl]

lol Splat !

[SplatPancake]

Look, if your outfit, whatever it is, is not topped off with a ring of last-the-week perma-curl IRISH MAMMY hair, you are not mumsy

[Newjobthankgod]

..not that I'm what you would call dolled up however.

[Newjobthankgod]

Here in the USA there are lots of mums at the school gates with two wolf moon shirts and NFL hoodies. White "sneakers" and white socks.

[Ubermumsy]

I've been keeping up with this thread off and on (and namechanged in response ). After this lovely weekend, I have come to a conclusion. I feel, and look, great when my clothes are dressed down to the point of scruffiness, because that's when I'm comfortable. (DH agrees, incidentally.) Particularly if my clothes reflect a particular activity. For example, after a day in the sunshine gardening or playing in the woods with the kids, when I'm grimy, sweaty and tired, I feel fantastic in a way I never can when scrubbed up.

So I agree with posters who say it's all about inner confidence. When dolled up, I don't feel comfortable, and I think it shows.

Oh yes - and my hair is even shorter as of Saturday!

[OrangeMabel]

Agreed. I tend to lurk on S&B because it's lighthearted and helpful. Every so often someone will start a spiteful thread then disappear like the OP here but generally it's a sunny spot on MN

[ADefiniteMaybe]

Oryx - please don't feel upset by the thread (or the many others like it). For most of us it represents a place to talk about clothes and making the best of ourselves - which is, I guess, what really matters. I imagine I am at the older end of the MN profile - late 40s so I have learned to embrace the positives and ignore the negative/judgemental.......
When I think about my wardrobe now I am mostly very pleased. I am not a fashion follower but I have developed a very me wardrobe which I feel comfortable in and works for me. Please stay and enjoy the very useful advice - I would be genuinely sad if I felt that someone had made you feel bad about yourself - that's not what S&B is for!!

[Rulesgirl]

I love bootcuts and they have never really gone away but....they are back on the catwalks this summer so therefore they are "in". ha ha!!!

[ToastedTeacakes]

Yes, bootcuts never went anywhere! I've always wondered why opinions about jeans are so fierce. It is just a variation in style at the bottom of the leg, for let's face it, even bootcuts fit like skinnies form the knee upwards - at least those I see do.
From personal experience, both styles make my arse look the same, which is eternally depressing for me;)

[Bunbaker]

I was looking at jeans yesterday. All the shops had bootcut jeans in.

[Algorta]

I've not an Eastenders viewer but I've just googled images of Tanya and in every one she's wearing a tight, low-cut outfit. Surely that's sexually attractive and not mumsy?

[kerstina]

Yes I think button necklace are pretty too. I like to think I have good taste. I like things that are a bit arty ,quirky. Some people like to put down things just because someone somewhere has decided they are not cool.
Have always considered pandora bracelets a bit naff not quite sure why probably cause keep reading on here that they are! However I love silver far more than gold and was looking at my friends the other day and had to admit they are a lovely idea. She told me the different events that led to each charm.

[OryxCrake]

And to answer the original question, I have absolutely no idea what I'd perceive as mumsy! The word to me sounds a tad derogatory, though; something that people wouldn't want to be seen as. So it's going to be different for different people I guess.

[OryxCrake]

That's reassuring - thanks! Maybe I need to venture on here occasionally and get some ideas...

I definitely agree that feeling confident and comfortable is the way to be.

[cocolepew]

Oryx, don't worry what other people think.You need to be happy in your own skin (or clothes), fuck what anyone else thinks. I'm sure your friend loved her necklace.

I was wearing bootlegs, a sweatshirt snd Converse today and felt great.
I wouldn't be caught dead in a lot of the popular stuff on S&B.
It definitely is all about feeling confident and comfortable.

[ToastedTeacakes]

I have been known to scoop shit (correction).

[ToastedTeacakes]

I'm not a mum, just a 'cat mum' so perhaps I dress cat mumsy, I don't know. Although I have been know to scoop shit out of the litter tray whilst wearing Isabel Marant.

But, I can see both sides here. And sometimes it's just down to how nature made us, isn't it? Some people manage to look stylish without even trying, whilst some try very hard and fail miserably. And personally, I don't care two hoots how someone else dresses, or whether they wear makeup or not. To me, it's like any other hobby or interest (cars, sport, fine china, interior design, etc), some people care and others just don't, so I can't imagine casting judgement on someone else, especially their mental outlook or health simply by observing their clothes. In fact, if I cast a critical eye over online images of what people wear at Fashion Week, I could definitely pull up a few.....WTF's.

But it's true that the S&B section is mostly helpful and lighthearted. I don't really believe anyone is casting judgement in here, no matter how poorly worded some of the comments may be. I love clothes and makeup, but don't particularly obsess over them, but more importantly I don't think they elevate me or make me intrinsically better than someone who doesn't care at all.

But what is mumsy? I recall thinking about this when I was a preteen, and never gave it much thought since. I think that I considered shapeless skirts, polyester blouses and cheap heeled shoes to be mumsy, but that was back in the day. Not sure what constitutes it now, cos none of the lists on here seem remotely offensive to me, even though I don't wear any of them myself.

[Fluer]

Yes it is about confidence. A lot of the items of clothing slated on here are fine but its how you wear something. Its knowing what suits you and enhances your shape. Its making the most of your femininity because why would you want to hide and dress like a man. And it is a little bit if keeping up to date with current styles. That's not the same as fashion. Its about looking good and feeling good. Inner confidence often comes from knowing you look good on the outside. Not tarted up, but the best you can be.

[OryxCrake]

Good point, Karma! I'll try to bear that in mind. I think it's a question of confidence.

[fedupofnamechanging]

Oryx, I do shit loads of the things on here and when I first read this thread I thought 'oh fuck!' But the more I''ve read the more I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter. Sometimes I will look appealing to others and sometimes I won't. It's of no great consequence.

[cocolepew]

There is someone in work who is tge epitome of mumsy.
I thought she was around my age (44). I found out last week she is in her early 20's.

[OryxCrake]

I found my way here via active conversations as I don't normally go on the S&B board and this thread has terrified me!

It seems as though lots of the choices I make (ones that I've been happy with) are examples of 'not making the effort'. Someone said upthread that it's women wearing things that are a few years old without amending them with modern touches (paraphrasing ad lib here!). I have no idea what those touches might be but am pretty sure I don't incorporate them into my clothing.

Also, I bought a button necklace for someone as a present because I thought it was pretty. I now realise it was an object of derision and am embarrassed to have given it.

While I appreciate that a lot of people on here are more interested in what's fashionable and 'on trend' than I am, this thread has made me realise that the way I look may be being sneered at, which feels horrible.

To the uninitiated, this thread does feel a bit bitchy, even though I'm sure many of the comments aren't intended that way.