What does mumsy look like?

[appletarts]

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

Rules hello

I'm afraid I went for the calf length skirts many years back and now I wouldn't be seen dead in them. Maybe they were more fashionable then than now

That- for me- is the definition of frumpy. I don't see how floor length skits do anyone a favour unless you are wearing a maxi dress. The skirts- always full ones- which come about 6 inches above the ankles are what my mum and her friends wear and they are in their 80s.

I found it hard to adjust from a working wardrobe to a SAHM wardrobe for a few years but once I began working I got my act together and in my mid- late 40s had a radical overhaul of hair, clothes, and style.

I don't think it's people who should be labelled 'mumsy', but rather clothes shops/manufacturers. For young mothers, it is indeed possible to adapt everyday clothes and look good, but for anyone over a certain age, clothes that combine practicality/affordability/ durability/comfort/style/a flattering fit (and, ideally, ethics) are really not easy to find. I can see how it can seem so obvious simple to settle for something comfortable and practical, with no sense of style. And there's nothing wrong with doing so - unless, like (presumably) readers of Style and Beauty threads - one is interested in fashion or style as an art form, as a means of self-expression, or for morale-boosting purposes. There's nothing superior in so doing (or in the alternative). It's just a matter of personal preference.

I feel relatively fortunate. I'm a crepey (in Mumsnet-speak) and some time ago decided on a sort of uniform of practical basic classics enlivened with quite posh jackets, scarves and jewellery. Stylistically speaking, that's probably terribly boring, but I feel comfortable with it. But my younger, poorer, self could never have afforded to dress like this. Perhaps it would not have wanted to. But I don't think it would have wanted to dress in some of the offerings of mainstream shops/online retailers today, either. Let's have some better middle-range, middle-age products!!

I don't see why comfy = frumpy. Who wears uncomfortable clothes after their teens?

The looks I would avoid personally are at one end of the scale, covering the body with shapeless, style-free clothing, mannish short hair cut, clothes seem interchangeable with those of their husbands and three or four sons, no makeup or ever any attempt to dress up or look remotely different when going out in the evening.

At the other end of the scale tight revealing clothing, badly dyed dull hair, face full of makeup, massive heels...

Most mums seem to be somewhere in the middle and look fine!

but not wearing make up all the time doesn't mean you've "let yourself go"; it could just mean that you don't like wearing make-up. Sometimes I wear it, sometimes I don't (more often I don't) but I'm still the same person whether I've got slap on or not. Yet many of you would judge me

The make up/ no make up thing has been done loads on Mn and I can admit to being totally prejudiced.

I look ill with no make up- pale skin, purple under eye shadows and no colour at all.

I won't open my door without foundation, blusher and mascara. Too scary for the caller!

On the other hand I have friends who use hardly any make up and they look fine.

But generally I'd say that most women look a lot fresher for wearing some kind of make up even if just tinted moisturiser, blusher, mascara and a bit of lip stuff. It just makes you look polished and as if you care about yourself.

I think almost everyone is enhanced by a bit of make-up - I certainly am - but whether we remember or care to put it on before leaving the house is another matter!

However, I agree with whoever it was who said that feeling good about yourself (and, for me, that means wearing nice, flattering, un-frumpy clothes and a bit of make-up), goes hand-in-hand with how you look. If I go out in a pair of jeans, muddy boots, a fleece and no make-up I don't feel great about myself and there is unlikely to be a spring in my step.

As an exhausted new mum though, both times, I honestly couldn't be arsed. It took me about a year after each child to get my fashion mojo back and really care how I looked on a day-to-day basis. That kind of concern takes a back seat when you aren't getting enough sleep. But I found as soon I was well-rested again I was dying to get to the hairdresser and look like 'me' again.

bella I have to admit that I too am having trouble getting round the midi skirt look that seems to have come back. I wore it last time round cause that was the length of skirts and it took me awhile to get used to on the knee length but now whenever I try on a midi......well I just feel frumpy. ha ha. I do love a maxi skirt though, very stylish with a t shirt and flats.

I think as mums we are under huge amounts of societal pressure to be selfless so it's easy to mock, sneer and scorn women who visibly take time for themselves

but I care about myself whether I choose to put make-up on or not; yet you would assume I didn't if you met me on one of my no make-up days (which would be most days)?

I can understand women enjoying wearing make-up but this self-deprecating nonsense about refusing to open the door without some on because you'd scare the caller is just bizarre.

Did the OP ever come back?

Blimey this has taken off!! No not a journalist or fashion wotsit either, just got the fear over being mumsy. Have to run, baby up covered in snot, very vogue!

Orange some women do feel that they don't want to be seen without their full makeup on and can be horrified if seen without it. That is the way they feel. Its not nonsense or bizarre....just the way they are just as you are happy either way.

According to this thread my clothes are mumsy.
And oh shit my hair is grey and I can't be arsed to dye it.
Gues what? I don't give a flying fuck.
And I don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks when they look at me.
To those that want to judge: you have way too much time on your hands and I'm flattered that you care sooo much about me to look at me and pass comment on what I'm wearing.
Shallow shallow shallow. Get a life.

No Chocky - not shallow. The OP asked a question and people are answering it. I don't give a monkeys how you look, that's your business and yours alone but I do care how I look and am happy to talk about clothes/style on the S&B board (the clue is in the name!).

Orange wasn't being self-deprecating- was being honest .

Both my mum and me look like bride of Dracula with no make up- each of us has answered the door au naturelle over the years and friends/ neighbours have done a double take and said 'Are you alright^'

I cannot tell you- really- how terrible I look. I have great skin - so I am told- but it is deathly pale and sallow and with awful dark circles, fair eyebrows and fair eyelashes.

I think we all have our limits of how we feel comfortable facing the world. For me, being bare-faced is like you perhaps answering the door wearing your undies only- or not even that :)

In five years' time, skinny jeans, jersey blazers, most biker boots and possibly even the current scarf-as-accessory look will be seen as "mumsy".

There is an all-or-nothing approach to clothing here, as opposed to other countries, as pointed out. We aren't encouraged to build a wardrobe out of clothes we love and which suit us, keeping some of them for years and letting go of others, but to adopt a look - and it's this look which gets dated. (Fashion rather than style.)

There is a point in (many?) women's lives where they question what they wear - too old for Topshop, too young for M&S - and for many, this will be around the same time as becoming a mother.

As a very young woman, you can wear lots of stuff in a slightly ironic fashion and it won't look mumsy - but 10 years later and it just might...

I love clothes, and style, and delight in outfits which are put together well and people dressed with flair, panache and wit. Much of the time, this is not obvious from what I'm wearing : comfortable clothes which suit what I am doing, and very little or no make-up.

Forgot to add - formal dressing is easier, because there are rules: suit, work dress, black tie. The clothes are more structured, and so often more flattering, and they date less quickly.

Smart-casual clothing for women can be a nightmare. Am I too smart? Too casual? Too much cleavage? Too little? Overdressed? Underdressed? Mutton? Lamb? Fashion-forward? Dated? Boring? Eccentric?

The practical aspects: can I run around after my toddler/walk for a mile or so in this outfit? Is it washable? Will it keep me warm and dry?

No wonder many women play it safe - there will be someone to criticise whatever we wear!

Excellent posts SineOfTheTimes

Isn't this particular forum meant to be Style and Beauty, not Fashion and Beauty?

So that means that we should wear what suits us rather than the latest fashion. Therefore, no skinny jeans for me. The most stylish women I know always look well groomed and wear colours that suit them, the right accessories and clothes that suit their shape and are clean and well looked after. As to whether they are in fashion I don't really know as I have never been a slavish follower of fashion.

Good posts Sine and Bun.

If I go out in a pair of jeans, muddy boots, a fleece and no make-up I don't feel great about myself and there is unlikely to be a spring in my step.

This sentence really clarified things I've been wanting to say on this thread for several days. I am the EXACT opposite of this, and it's really helpful to be able to explain it using that contrast. I feel my most happy, bouncy and confident in exactly this attire, because I feel most myself. And it normally means I'm doing something that makes me really happy.

I look at myself in the mirror every day, with no clothes or makeup on. I know what I look like (face ok, body pretty happy with). What I wear doesn't really affect that. I buy things primarily based on practicality,(warm/cool, comfy functional, versatile, good quality, timeless) and, if I have a choice of similar things will automatically choose what I think is the most flattering cut and colour and nicest fabric. I make an effort to look suitably put together for any given occasion. It wouldn't damage my confidence exactly, but it's not great feeling massively out of place if its easy not to. That's where my concern ends and doing so certainly doesn't actively enhance my self esteem.

I'm sure there are thousands of people who see me every day who think I don't look attractive. Others might. Some might think otherwise if I was wearing something different. Others wouldn't. I'll never know one way or another anyway, and I doubt I'd do anything different even if I did. As for any other judgment beyond attractive / unattractive, that surely boils down entirely to what you're wearing (boring/individual, dated/fashionable etc). And my perceived ability or lack thereof to choose clothes according to the personal taste of some random person certainly doesn't affect my self esteem.

For some reason woozle your post reminds me of the book the power of now and it talks about the ego. I think we are our happiest when we are fully involved in the moment and not worrying about how we look etc. Also the letting go of the ego. We are all probably at different ends of the scale with our egos!

Thanks Bun and Bear - yours too!

Woozle and Kerstina, your posts sparked off a similar train of thought. To me, attractiveness is more about enthusiasm, kindness, interest and humour, and to some degree the sense that someone is at peace with themselves, than what they actually look like.

I'm not saying that the two aspects are mutually exclusive, by the way - I enjoy seeing well-dressed people and have friends who are lovely and good-looking! But for me, the lasting impression that someone leaves is a sense of who they are, rather than what they look like.

And I'm fascinated by the aesthetics and language of clothes, and the intersection of beauty, politics, ethics and history that is fashion. I love having days wearing fleece and walking shoes (generally because I am going walking) AND days of being really excited about putting together an outfit. That's why I read Style & Beauty threads.

whatever is your opinion. you are a mother, so only you can judge for yourself

like Tanya from Enders

Isnt it wonderful that we are all different. It would be a boring thread if we all thought the same

I wonder what Johnnie Boden would make of this thread.

If he is real, of course.