What does mumsy look like?

[appletarts]

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

Mumsy is an attitude rather than a style. As has been said, 10 years ago boot cuts were classic and stylish. Now they are old hat and haven't been out of fashion for long enough to come back in. The type of jeans that our Mums used to wear - high waisted with tapered legs - are now the height of cool. 20 years ago that was a Mumsy look. It wasn't cool, it smacked of somebody who played it very safe and bought their clothes in M&S.

If you see somebody in an unusual outfit you have to look at their hair, their face and their attitude to know whether they are 'working a look' or if they just don't care and chucked a pair of granny shoes on by accident. Its not about the clothes themselves. The right person can make anything look good. That's how trends start.

On this thread posters have said that short hair, layered bobs, un-layered bobs, mid length hair and long hair are all mumsy.

How about the bag over head look. Is that acceptable?

What brand bag?

CambridgeBlue I like your description of the Dadsy look! I wear this at work as, like your DH, it's smarter than jeans but not as formal as a suit. Try to avoid really dull colours but that's about the best I can hope for!

I do have non-work clothes that I make more of an effort with.

I think most of us who are on the thread at the moment actually agree with each other.

Mean comments about anyone's appearance are just that - mean.

As I said before, S&B is generally a lovely positive section of mn. Its very sad if it makes anyone feel bad about themselves.

Where's Olivia with her Fierce and Love?

Can't everyone just get along?

Well I'm not going to apologise either. Because I don't believe I've said anything wrong.

Yes it makes me feel sad to see lots of women no longer taking any sort of interest in their appearances and looking as though they don't care. Because it suggests to me that they're putting themselves last. Perhaps some women genuinely don't care (and good for them) but I suspect the majority do, as evidenced by the amount of threads started on S+B by women who feel depressed at how they look, post children.

Women are people in their own right - not just mothers and wives and daughters. And I think retaining a pride in how we present ourselves is one indicator of a healthy self interest/esteem.

So sue me. I'm not sneering or mocking. I'm as pro women as they come. I've worked in domestic abuse service provision for years and am a proud feminist.

"Boot cut jeans a fraction too short, worn with low heeled black ankle boots and a fleece.

Or in the summer, shapeless wide legged linen trousers from M+S with an equally shapeless white shirt/blouse thing and a 'statement' (read plastic) necklace.

Short, practical haircut or - alternatively - long, unstyled hair that could do with being cut into a proper style, pulled back into a pony tail. Dingy looking skin. Little to no make-up.

These women are ten a penny where I live and personally it makes me want to weep. Because every woman can look good with a bit of effort and imagination. All women have something beautiful about them. All of us have good points we can emphasise.

But hey, I get it that some people care a lot less than others. And I'm sure that many of these women are perfectly content with themselves and their lives and would just rather spend the time they could be using to style their hair and put some thought into their clothes and make-up, doing something else. Fair enough."

i think this is spot on and is indicative of the mum who is so 'selfless' that she doesn't look in the mirror from one day to the next. Her thoughts and actions allow little time/space for self improvement wrt superficial things like how she looks. She keeps her mind sharp and will one day get around to thinking about her image...

No need to weep Fuckitthatlldo.

cross posts Fuckitthatlldo

Fuckitt I am a proud feminist and I think women don't care enough about how much they earn. Many surrender their financial independence once they have children, with no thoughts about pensions and careers. That is much bigger issue than not dressing fuckable enough. Sorry I have to so disagree with you.

I agrre that its an attitude and hairstyle. I'm at a FE college at the moment and was looking at people in the canteen. Loads of linen stuff, bootcuts etc. Not one person I would describe as mumsy.

fuckit I'm sure you are pro women and a feminist and I don't disagree with you in some ways. It's just that the level of what women have to do to be considered to be making an effort with their appearance is so so far from what men have to do. Men can throw on anything, get a haircut and they're done. No one is going to wonder why they're not as into clothes as they might have been when they were 19. That's what pisses me off.

These women are ten a penny where I live and personally it makes me want to weep.

I think the judginess and patronising pity in that statement could warrant an apology, FITTLD, should you change your mind.

I would certainly agree with that too OneLittleToddler. Financial independence is a major issue for women and a lack of it is one of the main factors in preventing women from leaving abusive relationships. Absolutely.

But that wasn't the topic for discussion.

Woozle can't you see that your response to what I've written is all about you and your stuff?

You see a few lines typed out on the internet and assume/project all sorts of emotions I don't actually feel onto them.

I've told you. I'm not judging. Or sneering. Or mocking. The fact that you're assuming I am says more about you than it does about me.

No, I can't, because I can't see what emotion would be triggering your weeping, if not pity.

Please enlighten me.

I've made myself perfectly clear in my posts Woozle. I don't need to endlessly explain myself.

'Makes me want to weep' is just a figure of speech. I might say the same about a bad joke.

But you've picked up on that one line and mentioned it many times. You've obviously found it very significant.

Again, that's your stuff. It's got nothing to do with me. Your emotional responses are your responsibility.

Oh fine, you just go through life saying whatever, than arguing the hind legs off a donkey when someone calls you on it, and continuing blithely on your way secure in the belief that it's all about their ishoos and nothing about what you actually said. It was, at best, a poorly chosen turn of phrase, and maybe it wasn't an accurate representation of what you actually think and believe, but that doesn't absolve you of all responsibility for how other people interpret it.

I'm sorry, I just read your post again and can't stop at the fact that you actually said that what you said has got nothing to do with you. Really? Other people's emotional responses to what you say are their responsibility?

Wow.

There's really no point us carrying on with this, is there?

And saying it's 'just a figure of speech' is beyond meaningless. There's all kinds of inappropriate and downright vile things that are 'just' figures of speech. Something being a figure of speech doesn't mean it has no meaning fgs.

I think I need to hide this thread now. I'm clearly not mentall well enough to deal with it

Can I second a practical question that was made upthread: if you are too old to be wearing ironic clothing that you may have looked very good in 20 years ago, where do you go to shop?

I find it really difficult to find clothes that are not mumsy but that suit/hide bums, big hips, saggy breasts (ah, no more, thanks bra ladies!) back fat, cellulite etc.

Exactly instant, it's easy for skinny/slim women to be judgey, which is why I stand by my dress for yourself comment. I spend a lot of time in Italy where women are stylish, not trend-led. They dress to suit their shape and yes, they wear flares and bootcuts frequently and they look good. They do not try to dress like girls in their teens/early twenties, but they do look frumpy either.

Skinnie jeans/jeggings are a trend thing in the UK, but do we have to all be sheep?

do not* look frumpy!

I agree Little, and I also spend a lot of time in Italy. Unfortunately, I am a borderline Italian size 46 which means going to the "Larger Ladees" shops

instant you don't have to hide it forever- you could try to lose it!

I'm sorry but I don't get this notion that being older means you just let yourself go and become plump.

I expect I am one of the older posters here and my weight now is about 5lbs more than when I was 21- and it's constant bloody effort that keeps it like that!

Not boasting but just saying how it annoys me when people moan but don't seem to think their size,shape or whatever is something that has nothing to do with what they do!

I buy my clothes at all the usual places- White Company, Jigsaw, Boden, White Stuff ( plain only ) Mint Velvet.