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Original poster

What does mumsy look like?

499 replies

appletarts · 26/04/2013 20:16

What do you think of when you think mumsy? I'm interested in opinions and pics if anyone finds something quintessentially mumsy. It's my fear, looking all mummy.

OP posts:
kerstina · 30/04/2013 10:18

I am 44 and probably spend a lot more time and effort than I did in the past on clothes,makeup not so much hair as I like it natural and not too styled. I think if you were quite attractive when younger you are a bit reluctant to let go. But that is my personal theory and will probably get flamed! Also it has never been easier to look great with mums net and the internet. I just wish I had it years ago.
Also as i am not working full time I have the time to do it. I think clothes and make up are another form of art so why sneer at it. Hope I do not sound pretentious Grin

kerstina · 30/04/2013 10:18

Takes 5 mins to put make up on not 3 hours btw!

ClaraDeLaNoche · 30/04/2013 10:19

Wrecjitralph- you can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Anyone can l

cocolepew · 30/04/2013 10:19

I'm not sneering at anyone, and I don't think anyone else is either.

Today I am wearing the dreaded linen trousers, I am wearing them with a low cut linen blouse with a white vest and Converse . I'm not mumsy, I'm scruffy Smile

santamarianovella · 30/04/2013 10:20

woozlebear,i wasnt talking about myself,but addressing the whole notion that women do get jealous of other women who take care of their appearances,its a fact,and not only that, somehow they get judged as being vain lousy mums.
i dont want to sound mean but if you have no interest in fashion or beauty then why are you here? i read some of your posts and you sound very defensive.
we are giving opinions there is no need to be this mean.

KristinaM · 30/04/2013 10:20

MrsCB -I suggest you shoot the cat and get a gardener

Plathism · 30/04/2013 10:22

And woozle there is often sneering in S&B at those of us who like clothes

Excellent misunderstanding based on lack of commas Grin Sorry, that kind of thing amuses me.

FWIW, I'm 31, I'm not a mum yet, and I love clothes and shopping and make up. I just hate the term mumsy (like many others on this thread) and I REALLY hate the tone of some posts which suggests that women who are uninterested in their appearance are somehow not 'making the most of themselves' and that they OUGHT to care. That's the kind of thing that makes them feel shit about themselves, not the fact that they don't look fashionable or groomed.

ClaraDeLaNoche · 30/04/2013 10:22

Ah! Lost all my musings. Basically I think that good S&B can make that silk purse.

woozlebear · 30/04/2013 10:23

Ok.

Nonetheless I don't think it's particularly relevant to counter the arguments on this thread from those who are rightfully indignant about the sneeriness on this thread directed at those perceived as 'mumsy', by saying 'oh well, there's often lots of reverse sneering.

There hasn't been on this thread. On this thread all the sneering and mocking has been aimed at the 'mumsy' types (apart from one spirited retort). Can't people just stop it and apologise rather than making all these rather ungracious counter-arguments? It's not nice to sneer at people, especially over things like this. And no, sneering in the other direction isn't nice either, but saying it sometimes happens doesn't make this any better, and it's got nothing to do with this thread.

Plathism · 30/04/2013 10:23

And feck off with the 'why are you in S&B then' queries - it's the internet, everyone's here, this thread is huge and appears in Active convos and Discussions of the day, and has 'mumsy' in the title, which rightly pisses people off.

badtasteyoni · 30/04/2013 10:24

I think sometimes people don't realise they've stumbled onto a S&B thread - if you're not interested in S&B then why come onto a thread on the subject to tell everyone you're not bothered about it?Confused

It's like me signing up to football forum and telling them it's all a load of old shit - am tempted to do that now actually Grin

seeker · 30/04/2013 10:25

I love clothes. I also love lots of other things- which means I am sometimes, by SB standards, unsuitably dressed- in Morrison's this morning in a fleece, jodhpurs and wellies for example. I am sure I was roundly sneered at by people who would "take the trouble" to drive 5 miles home, get changed, then drive back to do the shopping. But hey ho.

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/04/2013 10:26

Finding a gardener is very hard Kristina - perhaps I should start a thread - I can imagine the sympathy I'd get Wink

Pathism - I just don't think that many people do think that others should pay more attention to their appearance. I think the majority of people don't really notice what other people wear.

Glad my lack of commas amused me - golly, you weren't trying to make me feel shit about my punctuation were you Wink Because you know that wouldn't be terribly nice behaviour would it?

ClaraDeLaNoche · 30/04/2013 10:26

Apologise for what? For thinking that looking good is important?

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/04/2013 10:26

Lordy - I meant 'amused you' - seriously I need to get off here.

woozlebear · 30/04/2013 10:29

badtaste I assume you haven't seen my response to the first person who made the same massivelt-missing-the-point analogy?

I'll say it again then. This is not just any old S&B thread, is it? It's one where people with different priorities / tastes have been mocked and pitied in rude and upsetting ways. Why the hell should they NOT come on and defend themselves? I wouldn't come on any random S&B thread and start saying it was all shallow and irrelevant (and indeed I haven't said or even implied that here. I have merely defended my own choices against nastily expressed judgment.)

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/04/2013 10:30

I'm certainly not apologising - I've been very reasonable. Smile

Seeker - you see I don't think anyone would judge you for being in riding clothes in morrisons. Unless perhaps you don't have horses and are just pretending you are a Jilly Cooper character. And I personally wouldn't judge you for that - I'd admire it Smile

Plathism · 30/04/2013 10:31

No of course I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about your punctuation, I'm an editor and I just like it when my profession is justified by misunderstandings like that. It's often hard to think of examples to explain to people why commas etc. are necessary, so I kind of collect them
But I'm not sad enough to think that people should always write properly on the internet. I don't.

And I agree, most people don't care what others wear, but a LOT of people are terrified of looking 'mumsy' themselves, which I think says a lot about the values of our society and causes lots of women pointless stress and lowers their self-esteem.

badtasteyoni · 30/04/2013 10:32

No I haven't seen your one post out of the 317 on here Hmm

I just dip in and read that latest bit because I'm shallow like that Grin

LittleAbruzzenBear · 30/04/2013 10:32

I wear bootcut jeans because I have a long torso and short legs, so skinny jeans look ridiculous and unflattering on me. Lots of mums at DS1's school wear leggings/jeggings/skinny jeans. Some look fab in them, others certainly do not. They still look like Mums. Surely, we should all wear what suits us. I am flat-footed so have to wear wedge/heels most of the time, but I do wear Superga's and Fly too for 'flat' days.

I do make an effort, but I am not dictated to by trends, I wear what suits me. I have long hair too. According to this thread, I am more mumsy because I wear heels and bootcuts though. Sad

Plathism · 30/04/2013 10:32

Sorry MrsCB, I meant to put your name in my last post and bold it.

CambridgeBlue · 30/04/2013 10:33

Pistols /Converse/Ballet Flats + Skinnies + Breton or Zara Linen tee + BBH styled hair + MN scarf

This is exactly how I look most of the time, thanks Mumsnet! :)

To go back to men who were mentioned up-thread, I do think there is a 'Dadsy' look and I know this because my DH wears it. It's not his fault bless him but he moved into a job where the dress code excludes jeans but isn't smart enough for a nice suit. He ends up in sort of chino trousers (but not the trendy kind because he's 40 odd and doesn't want to dress like a teenager) with a plain or checked shirt and lace-up shoes - it's the Mumsy look encapsulated for men - comfy, inoffensive but rather dull and unflattering. I don't think any of his friends or colleagues have either noticed or could give a toss though.

Re the age thing - I think I look ten times better and less 'mumsy' these days than I did when I actually had a young child, mainly thanks to this board, Pinterest, slightly more cash, loss of baby weight and just being a bit more comfortable with myself as I've got older. Of course I have off days (working from home today in fleece, tracky bottom and no make-up...) but I finally feel like I've found my look even if it is very similar to a lot of other 30/40something Mums' look - see above :).

If that makes me happier and makes shopping easier, I don't see how it can be a bad thing. I don't judge my friends who are less interested in their clothes but to me how I look (and therefore feel) is very important. I don't think that make me shallow or less of a good parent.

woozlebear · 30/04/2013 10:36

Santa it sounds like you're saying I'm being mean. How am I being mean?

Lots of mean comments have been made on this thread (the sight of mumsy people making other people want to weep, the 'mumsy' people being told they shouldn't be on S&B threads...) How have I been mean?

I'm also fed up with being told I told defensive, with all the critical and dismisssive connotations of that word. Of course I sound defensive. My choices have been mocked and criticised on this thread, and I'm defending my choices and my right to make them without incurring the jeery judginess of other grown women who should have better manners.

Fuckitthatlldo · 30/04/2013 10:37

Paris in many of those pictures the celebrities in question are wearing flared jeans, not bootcut at all.

Personally I love flared jeans, preferably with a widish leg. Worn with heels they create a very long leg line. I also love straight leg jeans.

I'm no fashion victim. I wear what suits me. I sometimes wear skinny jeans but they're not my favourite cut. People are right when they say they don't flatter many body types. Even very slim women - if they are pear shaped and their top is the wrong length - can look bad in skinnies. I think they can be hard to get right.

woozlebear · 30/04/2013 10:39

Mrs CB I didn't ask you to apologise, I said 'people' ie the people who made the really quite unpleasant comments yesterday.