Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

jeez, it sounds like no Irish wedding I've ever been to - and I have been to many! On that note - there will be loads of ancient relatives tsk-tsking about how over the top everything is and adamantly not wearing heels :)

The dress I mentioned above for the garden party is totally wispy. Let me know if you want to see a pic of it.

Showy have a look at the Lady V website. I bought a lovely dress from there for a very glam wedding last summer, 50s style, it is beautiful - but about 4 sizes too big for you!

Yes, all floaty! You'll look great in them. I shall parcel them up this week for you to try- I think you'll definitely be able to use one or two of them- I like the hippie relaxed-but-pretty style for weddings too, and it would be nice for the frocks to get some use as I'll never see size eight again or be invited anywhere nice

Tea dress

Goodness me. I'm Irish and that does sound unusual (and a bit like the pretentious goings on we had during the Celtic Tiger when we all thought we sh#t money).

Fuck the heels thing. That's outrageous (I know, I know, they're good people, dear friends ... but that IS outrageous.)

As is the hats/fascinators thing. Not everyone suits them and not everyone will already own one or want to wear them again; they can't expect people to spend money on something they'll wear once.

I'd be tempted to wear a dress with a belt, so no one can tell if it was a dress or a matching skirt and top.

I know that's not helpful. But lots of other people have posted helpful stuff.

I'd assume the heels decree is simply shorthand for "a bit glam", so don't worry about that. There are plenty of of nice shoes and sandals that are wedding-friendly but not high.

floppy hat I would love one of these!!

I dunno, BOF. 'heels should be high' doesn't sound like shorthand to me, it sounds pretty unambiguous and like shoe Nazism.

They seem to have forgotten the important thing about hosting is to make your guests comfortable...

Hmm, I hope not. It does seem rather strange.

I think the high heels thing is do-able. Find some on ebay or in a charity shop and carry them, whilst wearing slippers.

boho frock seriously tell me to stop before I buy myself!!

floaty

They'll be feeding and watering us for 3/4 days, providing entertainment and excellent company. I think they're being more than generous. My sartorial failings are my own.

I LOVE that vintage dress and the hat, seriously like the style but I don't have that kind of money.

As others have said, just wear flats as 1) a wedding in uncomfortable shoes is the ninth circle of hell and 2) there is no way this can possibly be enforced. Despite what magazines tell us, not all women wear heels and you will not be alone showing up in flats.

Fascinators are the kind of thing lots of people buy in neutral colours for an event, then put away and never wear again. Ask around to borrow one. Or get cheap flower accessory as someone suggested.

That floaty dress! The sleeves! Now THAT I would wear. It's not formal though is it? It's very me, that's how I know. Massive straw hat, Doc Marten's, patchwork coat. Sorry, I'm getting carried away.

My dress code for our wedding was 'wear what you want'.

I can find a cheaper hat, bear with me! Which vintage dress and I'll scope about see what else is out there.

Orange flowers

I love that floaty dress! Very Margot.

I think it is perfect for a wedding, straw hats are cheaper pink to match floaty dress

OP, I do take your point. They are being generous and putting on a lovely do.

But not wanting to/being able to wear heels isn't a 'sartorial failing'. At the lighter end of things, they can be very uncomfortable, especially if you're standing a lot. Being a bit more po-faced, what if someone has foot/leg/back/neck problems and simply can't wear them?

Would look lovely with this sort of hat.

Fascinators, I can do, hats I do in summer because otherwise my head aches. Summer dresses, assorted I can manage.

HEELS, HEELS I DO NOT DO!!!!