Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

[MrsKoala]

what size are you op?

[curryeater]

wtaf. Seriously, they think they can tell you what height heels?
If you have back problems or similar, do you need an actual dr's note?

If you do not usually wear heels you will need several weeks' lessons to pass your test, or you will have to wear L-plates and have a qualified heel-wearer at your side, holding your elbow, by law. Ask someone very patient to do this, and ideally not your partner, because this can ruin relationships.

[QueenCadbury]

Sorry I realised my previous post was in no way helpful. I was just that people can be so prescriptive about what you should/not wear.

If you want to go and want to respect the dress code,it sounds like you are going to have to spend some money. So as others have said we need budget, size etc.

[MountainOrMolehill]

Could you walk in wedgies do you think? Low ones? A kitten heel?

Definitely scour e bay for a bargain dress. Floral or bright colour if its a summer wedding. Maybe go into a few shops like monsoon and ask their advice and try some dresses on? Then you'll know what you're comfortable in and what colours suit you.

But you must be comfy or you won't enjoy it as much.

[Indith]

see, look! YOu can pick up gret stuff for pennies. You can do this!

[Dadowado]

Agree with QueenCadbury. However, I found a great outfit for a wedding in a charity shop, also a fascinator. If you have some time, go round every one you can get to - you will be surprised what is there. If you don't do heels, you don't - could you borrow a pair? Do you know anyone who could lend you an outfit (box of chocs or bottle of wine as a 'thank you.')? Does the invitation actually specify high heels? If so, that is going too far!

[Poledra]

"roadkill in your perfect hair "

There was a dead pheasant on the road on my way into work this morning - do you want me to run out and collect it for you? It was recognisable as a pheasant at 8am this morning, and it's probably frozen, so shouldn't be too much problem

[Northumberlandlass]

Fuck the HIGH heels - cannot believe they specify height.

What dress size are you Show ? I have a few lovely Phase Eight / Damsel in a Dress 16's.

We'll sort this.

[ShowOfHands]

Oh the heels will be fine on the terrace and there will be that bit where all the beautiful people playfully kick off their heels to gallop on the lawn, fuelled by pimms and canapés.

They are brilliant friends. I love them dearly. But they are the opposite to us in every way. They are rich and stylish and like to travel and eat out and own nice cars and houses and live in the City and have City jobs and we live in Norfolk in a 2up 2down terrace with a couple of children, a car held together by electrical tape and wishes, no money and a busy sewing machine.

Seriously, we've had to sell stuff to afford a ferry to get there, scrabbled to afford accommodation and now this other stuff. I'm baffled and a bit worried.

I know them. If I phoned right now and said 'sorry old chaps we're skint' they'd say sod it, come in a bin bag/how can we help/who cares, just come. They're good people. But this is their wedding. I want to celebrate it with them in the way they want to celebrate.

Am going to the charity shops in a bit. What do I look out for? Is there a length of dress considered correct for formal wedding dress? One colour? No patterns? Arms covered I think isn't it?

I should have gone to finishing school instead of arsing about in the local woods building dens.

[MooncupGoddess]

FFS.

Can you go 50s style? Dorothy Perkins has some nice flowery fitted dresses that aren't too expensive:

here

Then, shoes in a matching colour with a tiny heel so it looks like you've made an effort.

[Glaikit]

Showy I'm sure between us we can get an outfit together. I have size 5 feet and a wardrobe full on clothes shoes and bags that should really go on eBay or to the charity shop. I can photograph some bits and post anything you like to you for first refusal.

Bless you for embracing your dear friends madness! :)

[JuliaScurr]

You, my friend, need charity shops. And cheap flat shoes from Primark.
Have a nice time :)

[Trills]

Fuck the heels. They won't care.

[MrsKoala]

can you get cheap mid height wedge mules from primark/shoe zone, then decorate/hide the plasticy strap over the foot with flowers/ribbon/butterflies etc from haberdashery/hobby craft? if you can borrow a dress you can match them.

[Inertia]

Hang on- women have to wear high heels and fascinators while the men get away with shorts and darts shirts?

If this is the wedding of dear friends, they won't mind that you've turned up in low heels and a smart item of clothing that fits.

Is the bride a similar size to you? Can she loan you a dress of the sort that she has in mind? She'll be in a wedding dress after all. Or any friends that could lend you a dress?

[MooncupGoddess]

If you can sew, buy a super-cheap hat from a market stall and accessorise it with some nice ribbon.

I'm sure pretty ballet flats or similar would be fine.

[Northumberlandlass]

Show - when you go into charity shops ask if they have any party / prom dresses hidden away. Our local shops usually save all the party / prom ones for school leavers balls / christmas time so they might have some even if they aren't in the shop.

[Inertia]

You mentioned the sewing machine- can you make a dress?

You can then tell all the swishy people that it's a unique piece created specially for the occasion by an up-and-coming designer.

[BoffinMum]

FFS, wear what you like! Ignore the wedding fashion nazis.

[OneLittleLady]

I have a green and flowery Fever dress on the MN pinterest swapboard if you're anywhere near a size 12/14? I wore it to a wedding myself and got lots and lots of compliments on it.

[ShowOfHands]

That linked dress I like Indith! I have good shoulders/arms too from the resistance training. I may be too pale though.

I'm v v pale, a size 8,light brown hair and blue eyes, have a nice figure but have had 2 emcs so my stomach though flat/defined, is not what it once was. I like green best. Legs are a nice shape but have stretchmarks down to my knees so need decent coverage.

I can't wear heels, be them wedges or kittens or platforms or fuck me sideways stilettos. I wear Doc Marten's.

The heels aren't for the garden party bit, they're for the wedding. The garden party says nowt about footwear, just specifies a summer dress.

I have a million hats. Most are crocheted or patchwork. One has ban the bomb on it?

[fossil971]

My best going-out dresses have all been from charity shops. Way to go. And look out for a nice pashmina/wrap, and if you are handy with a sewing machine, you can alter anything oversized you find to fit and flatter a bit better. Nobody will be looking close up, as long as there is an overall impression of English country garden party it will be fine. . And above all go for comfortable shoes - low wedges are good and add a bit of height. You'll have the last laugh at the end of the day.

I think I would pick out a few pretty artificial flowers to make a little hair corsage/fascinator rather than the awful debenhams-type ones. I feel like a muppet with anything on my head!

[ShowOfHands]

Hang on, to explain...

Wedding is formal wear which for the women should be hats/fascinators and high heels.

Garden party is a different day and men may wear shirt sleeves and smart shorts and women should wear a summer dress.

There is another reception and a 'meet the other guests' function too. I'm not going to them. I'm going to stay in with a gingerbread man and my best onesie.

[Floggingmolly]

Just forget the heels. You say you want their day to be perfect, and I'm sure it will be, near enough.
But if their idea of perfection is their schedule and dress code being adhered to to the letter, and them not being adhered to is enough to throw the whole day off kilter, they're in for a serious land.

[Floggingmolly]

There's a "meet the guests" function before the wedding, and a garden party after the wedding??? Wow.