Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

A Crepey is not just for Christmas...

999 replies

oldqueencrepey · 30/01/2013 08:43

It had to be done.
Phew that feels better.
Over here crepeys. All very welcome (but only if you're crepey).

OP posts:
Blackduck · 16/03/2013 08:39

University fees - I guess most children will be taking out a loan.....
So do you think the not spending the money is connected to the depression? A feeling he needs a safety net?

We have an endowment policy which will pay the first year of ds's university fees - I am seriously considering encouraging him to go overseas....

MrsSchadenfreude · 16/03/2013 08:49

BD - I am sure that is one of many on a very long list of his problems!

We are also encouraging our two to go overseas. Maastricht is supposed to be very good... I also see no reason why they shouldn't take out a loan, although do agree with DH that it is not a great way to start life. And from what I understand of the way it works, we will have to contribute a chunk anyway (isn't it based on parents' income?).

Of course (as I probably sound minorly less barking than DH in my post above), the main criteria for DD2's school is that it should be somewhere that she is happy and feels like she fits in. The other thing we could do is move house, so that she could go to a nice normal school within walking distance.

Blackduck · 16/03/2013 10:15

MrsS fees - loan, maintenance - means tested (so they either need to stay at home -ahhh, or that's where you need to pay :) )

Yes, to being happy and fitting. Oh MrsS you don't need this crap on top of AB do you? :(

Original poster
oldqueencrepey · 16/03/2013 10:34

So Mrs S, what do you think would be best / what do you want for her / what would she like? What is dh's position about moving house? Are you thinking boarding school as she needs to be settled and you may be working out of uk again in the future? It does sound quite a lot to sort out...

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 16/03/2013 11:00

MrsS - I can't imagine how you cope with the logistics of moving jobs/homes/schooling from one country to another. It brings me out in a cold sweat if I even contemplate such a thing (DH was, for a while, threatening to relocate us to Geneva, Europe's most dull city). I also have a stressy, high maintenance DS who would feel his life had ended if we had to relocate. I'm assuming your DDs are fairly adaptable/relaxed sorts? Did you get any good leads from your "school hunt" thread?

University expenses?? I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and going "la la la" at the moment. At the rate he is going, DS will be stacking shelves at Tesco; he has not revealed any specific aptitude to any area of study, so I have no idea whether he will want to go to university. The DDs are a lot more studious, but we haven't made any specific provision. We'll manage.....

rubyrubyruby · 16/03/2013 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSchadenfreude · 16/03/2013 12:54

Oh good news that there is progress with your tooth, Ruby!

DD2 does want to go to boarding school and to have some stability - that's not to say she hasn't enjoyed her time here, she has, and she doesn't want to leave. Weekly boarding is good for all of us - she can come home Friday night, go back Sunday night or Monday morning, with homework all done and no more battles (I hope). I think she needs something more structured than she has at the moment, and to understand that homework needs to be done, and done properly, and why she needs to do it. DD1 is a grafter and will do the work regardless, because she wants to do a good job. We will be in UK for at least the next four years, so DD1 will have finished school by then, and DD2 can either stay where she is for 6th form, go somewhere else, or come with us.

Life in UK will be easier on me, not least because DH can pull his finger out and do some of the logistics/admin stuff that he avoids here due to lack of French...

Am off to the station in an hour to collect DD2 from her ski trip. DH is in UK, so we will veg out with a take away in front of the telly tonight. DD1 gets back on a red eye on Monday morning, and I am collecting her from the school as the logistics of getting DD2 off to school and collecting DD1 from the airport fell into the Much Too Difficult box!

bigTillyMint · 16/03/2013 13:54

Great news on the tooth front, rubes!

So MrsS, will you be a not-too-distant neighbour by September if you don't have a nervous breakdown sorting it all before then?Smile

Not thinking too hard about university fees yet, but will be watching how friends whose DC are starting in September (fingers crossed) manage!

Am having a social weekend - out with friends last night, long coffee catch-up with friend this morning and out to friends tonight...

Blackduck · 16/03/2013 14:41

Mrs S am hoping you have put off the freeloaders friends?
Is lack of French really a problem when it comes to cooking the dinner ;)

bigTillyMint · 16/03/2013 16:23

Like ^ BD!

Cremolafoam · 16/03/2013 17:04

Mrs S - serious admiration for you and your ability to juggle so much stressful stuff.
Funnily enough dd is also looking at Maastricht and Leiden university
And Trinity in Dublin( all of which represent serious fee- saving for us)
Nonetheless AM TERRIFIED of all the living expenses, which will be considerable no matter where she ends up( Scotland /England etc also a possibility )Shock anywhere but here.
Dh and I have always talked about moving abroad again but it'll be years yet.
What are these savings of which you speak?

Rubes 500 mile smile? Gawd helpus.
I'm glad it's getting sorted Smile

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/03/2013 10:44

BTM - yep, we can have a 185 bus meet up!

DH is in UK so DD2 had left over Chinese takeaway for breakfast. I am mucking out DD1's room and making brownies as have friend coming over this afternoon for tea and cake.

The parasites arrive on Thursday afternoon which is a bit difficult for me workwise, as both the DDs are at school till late, so will ask them to come via my office to collect keys, I think, rather than me going home to meet them and then back to the office for the pub quiz very important meeting I have that evening.

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/03/2013 10:45

I will make a quiche and leave that in the fridge for them to eat, with bag salad. The DDs can have that too.

motherinferior · 17/03/2013 10:47

MrsS, leave them a cheery message about which Picard delicacies you'd like them to heat upGrin

I'm on for a 185 meetup as it stops virtually outside my house.

wilbur · 17/03/2013 11:00

Hey crepeys - up in the Cotswolds where it have been snowing this morning Hmm. When will it end? It's now moved on to freezing rain, so my plans for a nice long walk to the pub are slightly scuppered, grr.

Sorry the school relocation is getting stressful MrsS - especially since you have planned ahead for exactly this situation. I would be Angry with dh for adding to the already large headache of an international move. Maybe in London he'd be more likely to stir his stumps and talk to someone about being depressed too? Just from a crepey POV, it will be a lot of fun having you in Southish London Smile.

We used to have Uni savings but they go somewhat eradicated depleted during dh's nearly a year out of work over the past 4 years. We're getting back on our feet, but it's hard to replace savings out of a reduced income, plus now the child benefit has gone it's reduced even further. The only drawback of dh finding a job that he loves is that he never wants to leave and would pretty much work for free if they asked him - so the likelihood of him ever manning up and demanding a raise is nil. Sigh. Still, I get a teeny increase next month due to the increase in personal allowance so that'll go into the savings and start the long slow process of building them up again. Double sigh.

wilbur · 17/03/2013 11:09

MI - your email has just rejected me again Sad [unloved].

Blackduck · 17/03/2013 11:18

We would have been mortgage free in 10 years (about the time ds goes to uni) and so able to help up more, moving had stuck as back on 17 years and a higher monthly payment - dp and I were discussing our finances last night and wondering where it has all gone........
I keep thinking we should have stayed put...
MrsS enjoy the pub quiz office meeting.

motherinferior · 17/03/2013 11:18

Wilbur - PM me?

Blackduck · 17/03/2013 11:19

Sorry about all the typos in that - iPad...

motherinferior · 17/03/2013 11:28

I had my nails painted yesterday (a fiver while I waited to have brows done) and promptly smudged themSmile So much for my attempts to look like a grown up. Am clearly doomed to Unkempt Old Bat status.

Have just forced Mr Inferior to attend one of the slew of school meetings coming up. I sort of slightly would like not to be the only one engaging with our children's education. I am of course not alone in this!

bigTillyMint · 17/03/2013 11:40

Yay to 185 meetup - it stops round the corner from usSmile

We haven't got a university plan, AFAIK, but should be mortgage free pretty soon so I guess that'll be what we save for. Not that it's a great time to save!

DS is putting all his contacts into his new phone - his birthday isn't till Friday, but at least it'll be ready to go! DD is revising getting ready to go out with her BFF's to the cinema and DH is Shock working!!! He NEVER works at home! I am going to follow MrsS's lead and do some baking and meal prep for the week.

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/03/2013 12:01

"Mortgage free"? What is that? Envy Grin

The flat, having been rented out for the past 10 years will also need painting and recarpeting at the very least. I also think it will need new bathrooms and kitchen; DH said I should "moderate my expectations" Hmm. The kitchen and en suite are 25 years old, and the en suite desperately needs a facelift as it is a) beige b) has gold plated taps and other bits and c) is gopping. I could possibly live with the kitchen with some minor updating - I'll see. My plan was that DH should go back a month early and do the repainting/redecorating with his brother, but this idea has met with some resistance.

Original poster
oldqueencrepey · 17/03/2013 13:02

Sympathy to those suffering from dhs who have managed to delegate / outsource responsibility for their children's education. How do they manage that?? Is it our fault for assuming responsibility and they'd HAVE to step up if we didn't? Or do we have to step up because they won't? Dh is genuinely interested... but yesterday it became apparent he didn't know when the last day of term was... or which of 3 possible d of e trips ds2 was going on, even though he had filled in the form and written the cheque (because I made him). And he couldn't understand why I find that infuriating. GRRRR.
We went to a quiz night at dss school last weekend. In our team of 8 there were 5 of us who were good friends and 3 others who were strangers, 2 of them men. Polite chit chat revealed that strange man 1 didn't know what form his son was in and strange man 2 had no idea what gcses his son was taking in a few months time. One of them said airily to me that "my wife deals with all that sort of thing". I told him that was the attitude my father had taken when I was a teenager and that he should know it could be very hurtful. He avoided talking to me again, which was a blessing!

OP posts:
Cremolafoam · 17/03/2013 13:25

Oqc good for you pulling up stranger man. I know life is a mystery to my dh too often. It's magical the way clean clothes just turn up in his wardrobe. It's the work of pixies that the phone doesn't get cut off every three months.
He is the worlds biggest procrastinator. Once we went to Milan for a few days and I purposely did not pack him any clothes to see what would happenGrin
He just assumed I had packed for him and he had to spend 3 days in the same clothes and buy underwear and a toothbrush in Italy.
Ffs he thought it was lliberating that he could travel so light. Grrrrrr.

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/03/2013 13:26

I refuse to drive or put the rubbish out, on the grounds that if I did, I would be doing everything.

I have written a short story for the MsLexia competition and have to enter online today and am putting it off, because I will almost certainly cock something up.