Crepeys Not Crêpes

[Cremolafoam]

Oi over here hags

Ah, MrsS, you too have cheered me up

Z is now a nurse, and her DD is training to be a doctor. S fucks anything with a cock (according to Z - no love lost between them) and is unemployed.

you could (helpfully) suggest she might like to train as a plumber?

MI I thought that first dress looked v nice, but went in rather strangely at the bottom... on me that would be like showcasing my fat knees. BD is that what made you cry??

Hi all, yes I found the dress unforgiving - I was all arse, tum and norks. I am pretty sure you have to be straight up and down to wear it! (maybe if I'd gone a size up?)

It must be a grandmotherly condition. My grandma was constantly telling us how clever, charming, pretty, talented, etc etc our sins (her other GCs) were, while putting me down something terrible. When I got pretty good marks in my O Levels, she'd say 'oh well, I'm sure A (eldest cousin) will do much better'. Etc etc.

Turns out she was doing just the same the other way round - telling the cousins how wonderful we were. She only told me that she actually did like me and was proud of me the last time I saw her, three days before she died.

My mother does this too - talks us all up to each other. It's as if she thinks it will manipulate us into liking each other more. And when the GC arrived, she took to going on and on to each of us about how wonderful the other ones' children were.

We already like each other btw. But this behaviour makes us like her less. It's presumptuous as well - carrying on to me as if she know my sisters, and their children, better than I do.

But who knows, if we didn't have her telling us what to think about each other, maybe we'd be fighting and slagging each other off all the time.

My mum does too! Has evidently caught it from her mother. It has meant both me and my sis have grown up assuming the other one is the favourite. Mad.

A question - what's the sizing with Wool-lovers? Are they reasonably fitted? I was going to be one of their jumpers on my birthday list, but if returning/swapping is going to be a giant pain in the ringpiece, I shan't bother!

Re coat, I now feel it's rather too baggy on the waist. But it fits on the boobs. I'm wondering if I can get it taken in...

oh, just eat cake til it's snug....

I have just called my mother and let her know that I will be in London next week, and could I stay with her on Tuesday night. Long pause. Then, yes, I suppose that will be alright. When are you going back? I said I would be staying in London on Wednesday and Thursday night as I had an early start in the morning. Oh, she said, I thought you would be staying for longer, so that we could do some Christmas shopping and you could take the presents back with you. Um, no. I have no leave left - only enough to see me through the Christmas to New Year gap. Oh. Heavy silence. Then: You know I told you that you missed E & I's wedding anniversary, and she was ever so upset? Well she's got cancer now. Probably terminal.

Really, you couldn't make it up, could you?

Apparently Woo-lovers sizing is pretty huge, my mate (who has sent back the Aran) confirms...

Your mother, MrsS, takes the BISCUIT.

She takes the whole fucking tin. And the crumbs at the bottom. E is her sister. I have emailed my cousin to ask her what is going on, as last time my mother said that E's cancer had returned, it, err, hadn't.

My god. What are they like?! I could tell you stories about my dm that would make your toes curl... a perennial favourite with her is pretending not to know how old my boys are and then to disagree when I tell her their ages FFS. She likes to tell me horror stories about the disasters and tragedies of the extended families of people I've never met... and then to tell me I'm "very odd" not to be more interested / concerned.
If I ever become like that I hope and pray my dcs will have me put down.

I can confirm that Woolovers sizing is vast. Or at least the rustic cardie I ordered in the smallest size turned out huge. I thought it might look kind of funky and textured. Dh informs me that I just look like a doughty county matron. Splendid. Just the look I was going for. I have now gorn orf Woolovers.

MrsS's mother takes more bloody biscuits than you could find in a Tesco megastore. oldqueenie, my mother does that droning on about the tragedies of the extended families of people I've never met too. Or I may actually have met them once. In 1972.

My mum is lovely so I am not engaging in this stuff (but she will be disappointed in the new house).
Woolover sizing - read what they say! Tunic fits, but if you want a sweater as opposed to a t shirt under it go a size up, roll neck (warning on site they come up large) and yes they do....
MrsS - how come you haven't murdered your mother?

Feck, I am reading all this and wondering why we actually let it bother us
Dp doesn't give a whatsit for what his parents think...

My mother is a bit of a conundrum in that she has done some quite impressive, kick-ass feminist, right-on things and is ferociously tough and independent in many ways. However, she frequently spoils it all by trotting out idiotic ideas which were handed down to her by her mother in the 1930s and which she apparently feels unable to challenge. These are not merely "ideas" or "opinions", oh no, they are great social truths to which we must all subscribe or be damned to a special circle of Hell for all eternity.

It's completely barking and there is no reasoning with her and sadly she makes herself and everyone else miserable with this crap (cf. her rant about dd giving up the ccf showing a lack of moral fibre etc etc). It's all a big shame, because life is too short for this bollocks really.

She can also be very kind and is almost always very kind to dh. Apart from when she moans about him being fat. Oh and the time she said he had tragic Scottish poor person's teeth.

Tragic Scottish poor persons teeth!! WTAF???

:)
My mother has just given me an inferiority complex so wide you can't see one end from the other...so dp knowing commented tonight 'so when she comes up and says how much smaller this house is' to which I responded 'I will say, yes, I know, less to Hoover'...but I'm 40+ for FFS I shouldn't be even worrying about this rubbish...

Oh yes, but she was well pissed-off when my no. 1 dreadful nephew told her she was an ugly old bag. (he is a charming little fellow, but, y'know, maybe he just takes after his granny )

Woolovers does seem to come up big, but I've decided to keep my slightly-large black jumper, because it does look lovely with skinny jeans and is fab quality for the price. I've ordered the smallest Guernsey but it hasn't arrived yet.

I'm not even going to go there with the competetive grandchildren stories, or I will get Very Cross.

My Woolovers wrappy/tie-y cardi is M but definitely a loose rather than tight M IYSWIM! Both GAP tops are also M and are slightly snugger. And my M Uniqlo knitted dress arrived today but I have yet to try it on!

Hmm... becoming less convinced by Woolovers by the minute!

I have another S&B dilemma, but a rather nice one! As DS now no longer needs much kit during the day, I was toying with the idea of getting a new bag. One big enough for his gear ? change of clothes, bottle of water, wipes - but with compartments for my stuff too. My budget stretches to a little something from Primark.

However, as it's my birthday coming up, DP has said he'll get me a new bag! He's offered to get me this aubergine Mariella, by mumsnet favourites Peony and Moore. This is of course lovely. But it's so much money, I want to be sure it's the right one!

Any ideas, ladies? Capacious, but not huge, compartments, groovy, colour other than black or brown, under £200...

Nice bag, Herbs.

I am having a rant, complete with red eyes and spittle flying out of the corners of my mouth about ArseBoss's latest in AIBU.