Crepeys Not Crêpes

[Cremolafoam]

Oi over here hags

Ooh MrsS, DH used to teach out that way, but a state comp!

I saw those CV and liked the furry insides! What are yours Herbs?

Cremola, what on earth has happened?

GAH! The boots I wanted were on Secret Sales. I thought 'Oh, I'll buy those tomorrow', and now the sale has closed. And I can't even remember the make to find them elsewhere. Am I incapable of organising any aspect of my life?

I used to register births and deaths too MrsS

Glad the mammogram was OK Tilly.

You OK Creamola? I've had a shockingly busy week and am MNing from my bed as a treat to myself following too much wine last night.

Envious of MI's and MrsS's civilised and glamorous evening. I tried to do something similar this week, (meal with friend after meeting in London). Dd would call it an Epic Fail.

Friend immaculate in expensive, carefully-coordinated casuals, radiant from her 15-hour week, therapy, choir, book club, walking club etc. I'm frazzled, scruffy, sleep-deprived.

Japanese place in a cellar, table crammed close to two groups of drunk office workers screaming at each other, so I couldn't hear myself synapse. Food grim: slimy veg, salty fish. Too headachey for wine.

Missed train by 5 sec, went to London Bridge for another. Thought, gosh this train's fast, makes a nice change. Looked up and I was in East Croydon. Wrong train, too late to go back to London. Taxi home, most of way - walked last mile and a half after running out of cash.

Hearth and slippers for me for a while

Cremolafoam, what's been happening to you?

Looking again at the offending 'incorrect' document, it says Certificate of Birth at the top. Thus fooling me that it was indeed a certificate of birth. Or birth certificate. I can feel a stiff letter to, er, someone coming on.

Off for a fun-packed day in Peterborough shortly. Decided to get the train rather than drive, as it's one less thing to worry about. And I can read Grazia on the way.

Herbs, prior to 1 January 1983, if someone was born in UK, they were automatically British. So a short certificate of birth was fine for a passport. After this date, to be British, you had to have a parent who was British or "settled" in the UK, hence the need for the long birth certificate, which shows where the parents were born (or said they were born as I don't think any evidence of this is required when you register a birth...). But most people just take the short birth certificate, as it is free, and don't bother with the long one, until they need a passport. Hope all goes well in Peterborough.

And yes, Cremola Foam, what's up?

Cremola, spill.

One of my childfree glossy colleagues - the ones who believe stretch mark creams work, nuff said - absolutely refused to believe that parents might not get round to doing passports and need to be reminded (I wanted to run a little bit about this in the summer edition of the mag, which we put together oooh nine months ago). Just didn't believe me. Despite my pointing out lots of people actually did.

This is why I occasionally find work a little stressful.

When are stretchmarks supposed to fade? I ask, because DD2 is nearly 12 and my stomach still looks as if it has been clawed by a tiger. The lines are still bright red and about a centimetre wide.

MrsS, I still have stretchmarks from when I grew like a weed from 11 - 12! And some from the DC, of course. Despite slathering on the cream whenever I remembered!

Lovely sunny day here

Ah. Yes. There you have me.

My mum stayed last night. She is feeling sad. I can't blame her. Her BF is currently in a care home just near here, after a stroke, and it is all rather grim and she says neither she nor my dad ever want to get into that state. I said comfortingly that I would shoot her, and she cheered up a bit but oh dear we should gather our rosebuds while we may, because Real Old Age does look quite grim

MI, sorry about your mum's friend - I've already told my 3 to do me in if I get to be Really Old. I think I may need to properly define Really Old. If I disappear, check under the patio

MI, isn't that why we are all tending to gloom when we note the first signs of greying and drooping? It's telling us that Real Old Age is just around the corner for us too. Your childfree glossy colleagues are still in that happy phase of life where they believe that crumbly unglamorous ageing is something that happens to other people.

Re: stretchmarks - I suppose I should be thankful that I get the silver sort rather than the red sort because I am completely covered in them, mainly thanks to being eating-disordered in my youth (v.v.v.v. thin, followed by vvv fat, repeat several times until hospitalisation), which is why my upper arms and thighs now have a bit of a concertina thing going on. Nice. Don't think my stomach got all that worse because of dcs as it was like a deflated balloon before them anyway.

Crem, hope you are OK.

Yes, you are right MI - one of my oldest friends from school's dad died yesterday - 19 weeks since he collapsed and was then diagnosed with leukaemia. Feel so sorry for her mum (about 70) as they were enjoying their retirement and having lovely holidays, etc.

DH will be 65 soon, so we have in-house decrepitude. As the dcs keep reminding him, poor bloke.

Oh god. I think it's a major developmental stage, realising that old people really were young once.

To continue my birth certificate rant, why issue the 'short' version, if it's only use is to confirm you had a child? An aide memoire of the birthday? Something to frame for the downstairs lav?

Off to PB, armed with every item of ID me and DP possess.

Good luck herbs!

Yes, fingers crossed for you!

Am ok
Will explain in a bit

So Mr Inferior did a Big Supermarket Order on WEds...and half the frozen stuff got left in the van.

We have NO spinach/green beans/peas/butternut squash. We do have lots of oven chips...

Ah well, the DC will be pleased!

Nor are there any of the veggie frankfurters DD1 was going to get in tomorrow's split pea and frankfurter soup. I made veggie stock today. Pints and pints and pints of it. Can I get my halo now please?

Fucksticks and bollocks. While my paperwork was all in order, the intractable official said he couldn't guarantee it would arrive in time. And there's no facility to go and pick it up, as they're printed remotely and sent straight to the courier firm. I may, however, be able to speed up the courier for a fee. I wonder if I could go and get it from the courier office?

I feel just wretched.