And so we Wisely turn away from any summer purchases to Avid thoughts of stylish winter coats. Which means (surely) that the sun will shine, after wool jackets are bought....

[notyummy]

Stamp

Well I sent the text, saying that I got the text by accident etc.

She called back, but I didn't answer. She left a message in a 'poor me' voice, saying she did it because she's not feeling very well, hope I didn't take it the wrong way, blah, blah, blah.

Pissed me off more to be honest, in that if you get caught red handed then own up. I'd have far more respect for her than pathetic excuses.

Dona, those shoes are fabulous! Your kids must be a big hit in Rome with their blonde hair and blue eyes.

Fluffycloudland, did you try Welly Warehouse? I think that's where I bought my hunters.

Well done, Amber!

MiM, let her stew. Good on you for not answering. I never could parallel park (which is a bit of a drawback where we live. Better move!).

Wish I had your talent for making clothes, Verity. Those boots are great.

Thanks all, I think I will still sell the terracotta boots. I have Fryes in tan and tan Rockafellas too. I am not that keen on the terracotta colour, I had sales goggles. Maybe the pistols in black are a better buy than red. I have also just remembered I have these wine red Timberlands.

MiM not surprised that pissed you off. Jesus, she really is self-obsessed. If I did something like that (to an acquaintance of something, never to my own daughter!) I would be falling over myself to make it right! I think I would probably have to call her and give her a few home truths, and basically say 'buck your ideas up or that's it'.

Dec - why not dye the pistols yourself black?

What a thought provoking post Ants.

....And on a completely shallow note... Just spotted one of the girls on BNTM wearing my pink leopard bikini. I am not sure this is a good thing or not..

It's a good thing if you look better than her ny, which I'm quite sure you do!

Drat I don't have BNTM. I need some fluff to replace MIC.

MiM well done. I don't blame you for feeling angry.

Decam black pistols sound good.

The heels won't match, MrsCB!

Dec - you can dye them too - you just brush the dye over and the wood texture shows through.

I won't even go into my non-existent relationship with my father - actually easier I'm sure that I haven't seen him in nearly 20 years. However for me is been brought home a bit more seeing the relationship develop between my DD and DH - and I do sometimes feel sad that I never had that.

Black pistols were on the outnet this morning for £150 I think but sold out very quickly.

Good for you MIM. Remember it is not your job to make her feel better. As for her hoping that you did not take it the wrong way, how else could you have taken it?? Well done on the driving BTW. I was an incredibly nervous driver and even now can get nervous about going somewhere new. I hate the idea of being lost. Obviously a sat nav would sort that - but would cost more than my car is worth!!!

dona love your posts and have always wanted to visit where you are. Sounds wonderful.

Well done amber!!!

MiM definitely just ignore her!

Hopefully, if you are on a strict budget, don't forget charity shops. I found some exquisite denim skirts in our local recycling center last year (for 1 euro each) and have been planning to go back this week. While there, I also saw three local rock gods - I heard later they were there to start their own repurposed fashion label. Here, you can easily find good winter coats and good knitwear in charity shops. The local fashion mags are full of pictures of stylish women in their thrifted / salvaged / repurposed fashion finds, mixed with odd pieces of Balmain, Marni and too-difficult-to-spell designers from Antwerp.

Oohh Dec like the boots, magnificent! Isn't burgundy making a big comeback? Saw someone dressed in burgundy today and she looked so chic and fresh!

Re: painting shoes... Another of those skills that I learned from my mummy (she also teached me to use the staple gun to reupholster old furniture) She took us to scary junkyards on her bike and bought car paint in spray cans - then came home and spritzed her old shoes. She also used the car paints to dye flowers - dried roses and such. I particularly remember roses a very vivid metallic green Skoda paint [roll]

Wore scary shoes for half an hour trying to learn to stride confidently in them (kind of like trying to confidently ride a unicycle). DD2, 2 years, came to fondle the rosettes and tell me that she loved them. She's a 4th generation shoeaholic. Back in the 1970s, my mummy was the only person I knew who had perhaps a hundred pairs of shoes, and handbags to match (Carrie Bradshaw wasn't around yet). Oh, and my grandma too - but she also had hats to match the shoes and bags I went through a vintage phase in my teens when a wore my mummy's and aunts' 1950s and 1960s dresses a lot, and I still have some of their lovely vintage shoes. Even one pair that my mother had spraypainted gray ;)

Completely missed the great news about your test Amber - congrats!! And TY for the compliment, but I am not sure my arse could face the competition in a bikini from a 21 year old model I look ok in it for a 40 year old though.

MIM - stay strong. Not surprsied that reaction pissed you off, DH has a very distant relationship with his father because of his lack of engagement and support (2 calls a year and he can't remeber DDs name....) so I see a bit through him how hurtful these things can be. He is utterly resigned though because his Dad has been like that since he was 5.

Issimma I basically wear mine with everything . Outfits they have graced inckude:

• with a Me & Em cowl necked dress
• with a pencil skirt and silk shirt
• with skinny (proper skinny, not straight leg) jeans and a whole variety of tops
• with shorts (which turned out to not be a good look on me, but would be great on someone with better legs and/or better shorts)

My favourite is to tone down something like the me & em dress for family lunch by adding aggies.

I am sewing 17 zippered pencil case type things to put gifts for DS1's teachers at nursery in. I am not entirely sure why I thought this was a good idea, but I am 8 pencil cases in and it seems a shame to stop now.

Dona I used to love charity shop shopping, never get the time nowadays with DS1 & 2 and their belief that all outings should be centred around them. Or in DS2's case, that we just shouldn't go on outings, because that requires him to be put in the pram rather than draped over my ankles/lap/hip. Must make time for more shopping by myself.

Speaking of DS2 and the insane clinginess of doom, I have finally given in and bought a structured carrier - we have always used woven wrap slings with both boys, but I just cannot master a back carry with them and I am hoping that we might actually manage some outings without an accompaniment of whining if I can just pop DS2 on my back. It is, naturally, in my colours (a kind of petrol/teal blue, if anyone's asking).

MIM agree with advice to ignore your dear mama. She is bonkers.

My mother has decided this evening that buying fashion magazines like Elle is, in her words, "pointless" because I can't afford what's in it. Clearly, I have neglected to mention the De Manta to her, but even so, surely she can understand the point of reading something for inspiration? She has a subscription to like 4 gardening magazines, and surely she is not planning on recreating every single garden from them, or buying every single house so she can have that garden? Loon.

Well done Amber! And I don't blame you for finding an easy spot to park in MiM. I'm hopeless at parallel parking and have been known to ring DH from the car to ask him to come down and park it for me.

As for rubbish parents, I don't have much of a relationship with my father, he's met DD2 once and she's nearly one.

Waving at ollie loved your post about being on holiday. I am off next week and suddenly, reading your post, it all seems real. Am off to a villa in Gozo recomended by someone on this thred, was it annie?!

Think it may have been Fleecy.

Amber well done you and also Mim on driving. I need to follow your lead.

MiM (and others with ?toxic? parents) I feel so bad for you, it really is luck of the draw , isn?t it. My parents are so nice and supportive and non-judgmental it doesn?t seem fair some of us get lucky when others didn?t.

Guess all we can do is our best with our own children. Am sure all of you will be giving your children a lovely experience of what being a mother is about.

I have to say I always feel a bit suspicious of threads on MN with people back slapping about what great parents they are ? think only our kids themselves can judge when they are adults and parents themselves. I know my split personality will come back to bite me!

Decam wow to the red boots. I probably wouldn?t but thats because I am not really spending at all right now on clothes and unlikely to for some time. Tempted by Ash Isadoras in tan.

Marsha hope the new one is a Miele!! Feel for you that was me last year ? cannot do without a washing machine!!

Pickled I knew it was said in jest!

Last week of term and also (drat) quite a bit of work which means will miss end of term concert for first time feel bad. Missed sports day too but will make the disco and work from home tomorrow.

mim feel better vibes your way
can't keep up with the thread and some massive posts - big wave all round x

Evening all - am bloody knackered after racing around visiting people and being stuck on 2.5 hrs of SE London traffic at rush hour. Yuck. Returned from visiting my friend's newborn (so gorgeous) to my mother about to pull her hair out and complaining that the children were 'completely wild'.

MiM I am so, so sorry that your mother continues to behave so abhorrently. It speaks volumes about your innate kindness and generosity of spirit that you conntiue to try and create a functioning relationship with her. That goes for you too Ants and Ollie. Lovely women who deserve so much better.

Not much else to report really. Am going to an event where I will most certainly nbump into an old flame. Unsure as to what to wear - my capsule being away wardrobe is not really doing it for me. Might I borrow yours Dona?! Wore Whistles leopard with FC platform courts, navy Vince slouchy cashmere jumper and grey TS blazer last night. Was v pleased with look and had good catch up with my friend.

Agree with you GoS, I'm almost certainly a shit parent, but I give them cuddles and lots of sweets, so they like me or now

I love a good charity shop. The ones in the village are particularly good - Alaia platforms and Bottega Veneta bags are some recent spots!

I honestly think none of us know whether we are shit or not!! and (by sounds of some toxic mothers) we will be deluded enough never to have to admit it if we are faced with our shitness in years to come - no doubt it our minds we will convince ourselves that it is the child's fault not ours!

Yes agree with the lots of cuddles philosophy hoping it is some sort of panacea to make amends for the bad bits...

MiM you hang in there. ANybody would be hurt by that. You are only human and you are doing great. x

No decent charity shops round here...

I am definitely a rubbish mum, prone to grumpiness and using sweets and cartoons too profusely... But I really hope my DC will always feel how passionately I love them.

My head cold lingers on. Bah.

Hmm, outfit for playgroup and supermarket today. Red skinnies, white shirt, blue Gracie. Want some leopard flats badly but will have to wear gold quilted ancient ballerinas (TS channelling Chanel).

Have good days everyone!

GoS I also feel self-conscious about my split personality - don't want to become a toxic mother. I'm all about structure and order, DH is much more loving and cuddling. Need to tone down the tendency to whine and be a martyr... My favorite parenting book is this - I reread it every now and then, it's compassionate, realistic and evidence-backed. Worth a read also if your parents were less than optimal - it lays out what things to focus on and what is less important (lots of things many parents spend a lot of time and effort on are pretty unnecessary).

RR feel free to dip into my wardrobe! It would be fabulous to have a clothes swapping wardrobe rummaging party at some point...

Woke up too early, DD2 came to announce that we are out of milk. Decided that I don't like my tea without milk either and nipped to the corner shop wearing Roxannes, the white tux shirt, green Dayanas and the Zatchel. Love the Dayanas - the sun is out, another perfect day! I have to do a boring work bit (read the full book MS) - plan to do it in style by finding a sunny spot in a street cafe.

I should take out my sewing machine more often - I realize that I love my Roxannes so much because I altered them and they now fit perfectly. I put them in the back drawer last summer because the alteration changed their fading (there is an abrupt color change in the side seam area) but I decided it looks edgy and D&Gesque

Also found in my closet a pair of tall leather boots that have a 50/50 vibe. I have a problem with many higher end boots - here in the North the winter weather is truly rubbish. Streets are salted and sidewalks are full of sleet, slush and icy puddles. Boots need to be very utilitarian - grippy rubber soles are the best, and the boots should be waterproof. Plus I have skinny calves. Still looking for the holy grail. Examined the soles of the Cypresses and no, they are not going to survive the winter here.

Amber Alaias - will need to come to your charity shop!

dona I know! Some extraordinary wealth around here. Sadly none of it in my bank account