And so we Wisely turn away from any summer purchases to Avid thoughts of stylish winter coats. Which means (surely) that the sun will shine, after wool jackets are bought....

[notyummy]

Stamp

dona The place you are staying sounds wonderful despite the weather. I feel inspired to be an ingenue aunt when I'm 70. In fact my nephew has asked me to accompany him on his first day of secondary school in autumn. I was so touched when he called me yesterday and almost shed a tear when I told DH.

MiM how horrible.I think I would have to say to your mother that you have read it and how hurt you are.Or if you are close to godmother could you tell her what has happened?

Would you have wanted to go to the party?
Re PND,I had it after DCs 3 and 4,particularly badly after DC4 as had horrendous birth,crash section,PPH,the lot.It took me a few months to to to GP and ended up being referred to psychiatric team,followed by CBT for over a year.Am still on anti depressants 6 yrs on.
I really encourage you to go to Gp and discuss the options.
You will feel better able to cope with your mother if you are feeling well yourself.

MiM, it's a difficult one isn't it. In a perfect world, the one where your mum might actually behave like a loving mother, I would perhaps call her and explain that you received the text and that you are saddened by the fact that she felt that she had to lie to you. I might even tell her about the PND and your thoughts about it, perhaps acknowledging that it may have made you seem difficult.

Good luck with what you decide and know that you would be at the top of the list of any party that I might have .

MiM, that is horrible of your mother. I would reply "think you meant this text for your friend, no intention of coming to stay". She'll be mortified, I'm sure. Sorry she has upset you, you poor chicken.

DD1 going back to school tomorrow in time for her nursery graduation, aw. She is decorating a pair of flipflops right now, I'm thinking famous fashion designer/brain surgeon on the side.

I agree, Bloss is très chic indeed. Who wants to look like the pupils anyway!

Still no shopping, more in the mood for furniture shopping and saving for autumn.

DH gets his shirts from Thomas Pink, Gant, Ralph Lauren or Faconnable.

Issimma I had the same exact problem with Leighs
Check out the Thomas Pink sale Bloss. But would not wear white while travelling - spent once 24 hours in a white T shirt stained with tomato...
MiM your mother may have good intentions (trying no to overwhelm you) but what she has done sounds deeply hurtful, esp. the difficult and jealous bit. Happy to hear that you are recovering from PND! Would it make sense to call her and talk with her - or are your relations tense as is? What would happen if you fwd'ed the text to your godmother, letting her know that you received by accident a message meant for her?

MiM poor you, what an unpleasant situation and i'm sorry to hear about your PND, i had it with DD1. We have a difficult family situation which has been going on for the last 18 months and I found a few online pieces which I found helpful. this , this and this

On a far shallower note, what's the sizing like on Earharts? I need some casual trousers for our holiday (by the beach in the UK) and thought they might work.

Sorry for the not very exciting post, I'm starting to feel very anxious about going back to work and am trying to get organised.

NSG, Earhearts are huge, you need to go two sizes down iirc.

Thank you all, I got all tearful reading your messages.

Dona it certainly wasn't my mothers way of not overwhelming me - we have a very tense relationship, she has an uncanny way of making every situation there is, to be about her. She has let me down so many times, especially we I have needed her most. It's like the tine she needs to step up and be a Mum, are the times that she walks away.

I'd never discuss my PND with her, I did previously when I had it with DS, but she just told me she couldn't bear to hear about it and how it made her feel dreadful.

Fritzi, funny you should say that because the first thing my lovely GP asked was how my relationship is with my mother. She feels that a lot of women have a resurfacing of feelings connected towards the relationship with their own mothers when they become mothers. It's so true - I just cannot imagine giving DS/DD conditional love, or letting them down.

My Godmother wouldn't want to get involved to be honest, we are not close and I suspect, putting 2 and 2 together now, that she has said all sorts of things to her about me.

Still need to do the nursery run so not going to text/call her yet, I am not going to let her scupper that!

Thanks for those links NSG, I'll read them tonight. Not shallow at all re the Earhearts - as soon as I got that text I bought those GAP maroon zipped skinnies as a distraction.

MiM. So sorry to read your post. I would speak to your Godmother first if only to help offload your feelings of hurt and upset? I think i recall you being quite close to her? You have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to your mum. Nothing. If you speak to your Mum, have what you want to say written down so you can be sure you say everything you need too? Or send an email if you think that would be better? Know how frustrating it is not to be able to get across what you want to say. Stay strong x

MIM in that case forget calling godmother.
TBH it sounds like they are well suited,leave them to their party together!
Will your DH be supportive?

Ooops, got it wrong about your GM, sorry.

How awful mim. Cannot advise but would think decam's suggestion excellent. Glad you're having support from your GP, and sorry to hear of every one else's PND too. Hope we can all be supportive here for you too.
Was wondering where you were decam. Is dd better?
That is lovely fritzi. You must be a great aunt.
Okay, it's a 'no' for the white shirt! Will wear black. Plus ca change..
Or the Vince.

Not sure MiM whether it would help you but I have found books that talk about dealing with difficult people quite useful. Some friends have had similar issues with their mothers and fathers and reading about narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder has helped them (the parents' behaviors hasn't changed, but it's easier to tolerate/ignore them).

God MIM your mother is truly toxic. I'd do exactly what Dec said and then I'd bloody ignore her for a long long time. Evil witch.

Am busy clearing an ironing mountain - how terribly 1950's of me

MIM poor you, how horrible. Think Decam's suggestion is spot on. Followed by long period of avoidance.

DH handed his notice in today . We are actually going! I hope.

My mother has just commented on how ridiculous it is to buy clothes for new work before earning money from it. I pointed out that training/working in my pants would probably not exactly facilitate the earning money bit (unless I have a slight career shift...). She appears unconvinced.

I love this dress. SE, too dark?

That is a beautiful dress, Hopefully. And I like your Comptoir dress you have on today, MrsCB!

That's lovely that your nephew invited you along, Fritzi.

She seems better today, thanks, Bloss. I like the green shorts/white shirt combo. She is upset at the thought of finishing nursery and making cards for her teachers.

Glad you are having a great time, Ollie. Hope you are not lost!

I forgot, I ordered this, I have it in navy already. Not sure about the colour but might be good with a grey cardigan (possibly waterfall ).

Dolce, if you are reading, how are you and hope your father is doing well?

MIM - everyone else has said it better than I can. Am indignant on your behalf and mystified how a mother can behave that way towards a child.

Hopefully - TY very much for the email. NOW GET BACK TO WORK .

Had a dig around in TK Maxx this morning on my way back from a meeting. Looking for premium denim in my size. Evidently not to be....

Thanks again. Yes, she is toxic, that just about sums it up!

Actually, I don't have the time/inclination to deal with such petty behaviour. Goodness, I have 2 DC's, a senior role in my profession and a car FFS!! Seriously though, life is too short for this when it's te one relationship that should be your rock in life.

Anyhow, have taken DD out again, she was insistent that I checked out that FC cowl top that I pinned that a few of you have also liked.

Back later. X

MiM . My mum and her sister often fall into the habit of lying/inventing senarios/trying to control situations, it drives me barmy. I try to always pull my mum up on it, but we get on very well otherwise so it's easy for us to be quite open. I think Decameron's suggestion of pointing it out but not engaging is the best.

Yes beautiful dresses Hopefully/Mrs CB. A lady at toddlers today had an amazing full length long sleeved deep v neck liberty print maxi on, really cheered up my morning (shallow).

New Look are really on a good boots role at the moment, I really like these cyprus alikes.

Thanks for the driving info everyone. I think I'll follow MiM and Amber's model and go for little but often starting in September. Fingers crossed for the theory Amber

It is, MiM. I would want her to know that you know what she said but see how you feel later. Happy shopping!

Nice boots, Suburban.

Btw, please help me decide ... I am fixated on these red pistols and have these terracotta pistols on eBay at the moment. However, I do also have Russell & Bromley red rockafella boots. I do like red. Should I just hang on to the terracotta pistols?