Crepeys/Hagsnet - come to the candlelight!

[MrsSchadenfreude]

As the last thread is now full...

I need to do the swimming costume thing but was hoping to have shifted some gut first...(haven't shredded in five days and won't get to it tonight either...) Wilbur my ds was born May 2003 too (obviously a good year and a good month :) )

Like that Land's End one...might give it a go. Am I right in thinking a UK 14 would be a US 10 (or is it a 12).

Probably was me having a baby - I eventually had one at St. Thomas' in 2005, but I did have a couple of miscarriages that would have been born there....probably around that time. I also had my boobs reduced and uplifted in St Thomas' in 2009, which was much more exciting!

I did venture into town today and tried one on in White Stuff, which clearly had a 14 bottom, but no coverage for a decent pair of upstairs departments! Oh its so depressing trying on cossies.....

OK, talking of sweat...I am abit-whiffy in need of new deodorant; didn't someone recommend one that works forwhiffitude earlier?

Beachyhead - it was the 2005 one! I was on a pregnancy thread with you when I was expecting ds2 and was going to go to Thomas's (where I had been in 2003 with dd) but ended up having him at home.

Bigtilly - I though that too, about the model. They're using the pic in their ads as well which is why I thought I could get my size, but it's a range for D+ cups. There are not enough chicken fillets in the world to make me a D+.

Wilbur, snap I am quite happy with my fried eggs!

Oh god I am also the size of a walrus I have realised, especially in this summer dress. I can't be premenstrual. It's cake.

Smelly and walruslike. How appealing

Beachyhead has now got me on a swimsuit search as I realised I last bought a new one three years ago in a panic rush. This year, as I am actually going to spend some time swanning by a pool, I would like to have a nice bikini that fits me. And maybe does something to enhance my allure (ie cleavage). If anyone comes across a suit that looks a bit like this style please let me know.

MI - you're not painting a fair picture of youself - you are hardly a walrus. Although I am planning to return from France looking like the stuffed one in the Horniman .

http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33057&storeId=12556&productId=2431612&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=208534&parent_categoryId=203984&pageSize=200&refinements=category~[209809|208534]&noOfRefinements=1 This? Or this?

This I meant....

Soddit, can't link to the BHS one - but worth checking the swimwear there!

See you are all braver than me - I am looking for something that covers up as much as possible :)

I caught sight of myself in the changing room in M&S when buying (whispers) per una frock and was pretty horrified really........

The fash mags are always full of 'swimsuits to suit your shape' features in spring. As my waist/belly is about the only decent part of me, the only swimsuit to suit my shape is a bikini top and maxi skirt. Or Victorian bathing machine, towed to the water's edge by carthorse. They were a good idea.

Oh Victorian bathing machine - fab idea....I tend to buy black swimwear on the principle it is a) slimming b)less 'in your face' on the beach/by the pool and thus I won't be noticed :)

Swimwear? Gah, I think I may just be wearing a burkini this year. As it is, I wear one of those suits with legs like channel swimmers wear. I am a bit worried that I could be mistaken for a giant black pudding when I am wearing it. I hardly ever go swimming these days, though, as the chlorine/ seasalt sends my hair even more beserk than usual. And that, let me tell you, is not good.

MI - good article last w/e in the Graun!

X-post, KM. How are you doing?

I have a little S & B query: eyeliner. What colour? For years, I have stuck with dark brown. I took on board what some of you said about that making you look tired and I wonder if that is true for me. Although I'm not sure that anything could make me look more tired than I actually am most of the time, but still...

I can't wear that liquid eyeliner as my eyes are too deepset (think tiny currants in an uncooked bun). So it needs to be pencil. Any suggestions?

Ah no, KM, sorry to hear that. Are you back up and running now?

I am generally fine, just doodling along with my mid-life crisis, although I did have to get the dog stapled back together this morning.