Hagsnet - the crepey quiche

[saggarmakersbottomknocker]

Over here all you 40s and fading!

Now MI if someone would make me that for breakfast I would probably eat it, but couldn't be arsed to do it mysefl. Porridge or yoghurt with museli here...

I frequently eat spinach for breakfast.

I might quite like to join a choir.

(those two things are not connected.)

I have eaten a protein shake, a hard boiled egg, four cherry tomatoes with some boursin and fresh basil this morning. I should be full up for hours now.

Fellatio, your peeper-based lament touched a nerve. Optic probably. Am very rheumy and tupperware rather than white. Must get more brightening optrex. Although I think it's Not Good For You tm. Vasar constrictor thus makes veins shrink. Although not sure I can be trusted with what body parts are called. DD has fractured her distal radius (wrist) and yet what I shouted over the road to a neighbour was that she'd done for her dorsal fin

I also sing in a choir. DH puts choir night down as social but I argue it should come out of a special theraputic/mental health allowance instead.

Well I'm officially a HAG, creaked and ached all the way through my yoga class and then fell asleep at the end.

also know I am middle aged when walking past a building site noone whistles anymore. (maybe thats not a bad thing)

Ha! I know I am middle-aged because I can't even go to a yoga class for fear of stretching-induced flatulence.

I am about to send some ideas to Saga magazine. I have embraced middle age.

Oh god yes, the jiggling jogging face. I seem to remember clenching mine tight whenever I went running. One good reason for not doing it again.

Feeling a bit glum today. Can feel the onset of yet another period, only just three weeks after the last one, drumming it home that I'll only ever have one child. Not that I could cope with two, what with DS being quite exhausting enough, but logic doesn't filter through to the hormones...

Arf at the yoga flatulence!

I used to to a Pilates class with a number of mature ladies, and the silence was often punctuated with little squeaks and parps. The lady running the class was totally unfazed, and just when you thought you'd got away with it she'd call out "let the wind blow free!" every time.

Black duck I wish it was easier.... Am hobbling around half crippled by the aches from yesterday's Shred and the knackeredness from today's.... Went to Costa with a friend and had a medium hot chocolate but DID say no to cream and marshmallows... Mixed result there then....
I find star jumps (which jillian seems to favour grrr) can have that effect on me too... Plus the pelvic floor complains bitterly ... At least I am in the relative privacy of my own home...DC banned from downstairs before 7am at the mo!!!

One thing I do have is a pelvic floor of steel. I could do star jumps with a full bladder, while sneezing, and not a drop would emerge. Praise be to caesarians.

Don't say that about Yoga - I have a class on Friday full of 18-21 year olds (ahhh....hides...).

I admitted defeat the other day and ordered another pair of reading specs for work (I wear some at home but have been too vain to do so at work).

I had my paellla for lunch (yum!), I laos have been going a bit mad on the coffee and need to cut it out as it makes me spacy (more so than usual).

bugger - hadn't thought about pelvic floor.....childbirth has a lot to answer for let alone age!

I thought my pelvic floor was in fabulous shape. Until I had a go on a trampoline and my pelvic floor seemed to want to bounce up and down in a totally different tempo to the rest of me (even including me jowls).

Had similar moment stopp at a wedding party about 6 months after DS2 was born. Over enthusiastic dancing to a Madness track... (that sort of jumping up and down type..) PV confirmed as shOt to hell... Had third DC since then so it's even less good now!! star jumps are not fun....

Saga is Officially Hip now though isn't it with Emma Soames at helm reliving her glory days shagging Greek tycoons in Studio 54?

Smallstuff, you're obv Trying Too Hard. Do like I said and practice hags' holdback - you'll soon be doing the full-on programme but ease into it rather than knocking yourself out.

You are probably right WWWY... Jillian will keep going on about stressing my body...she seems very much to be from the "feel the burn" camp....a 70's throw back!! (as obviously am I!!!)

Oh bollocks to "feel the burn"! Been there, done that, wrecked various bits of myself. Crutches are not a cool and youthful accessory

Absolutely - plus she hasn't reached the crepey stage yet so it probably doesn't even enter into her head how that would feel.
The thing that annoys me is the 'I've got 300lb people doing starjumps' - yes and they're begging for mercy and no doubt crippled the next day. No point putting yourself off.

Us hags are all such jolly good sports: trampolining, dancing enthusiastically to Madness...

I've been invited to a terrifying-sounding party in Spitalfields at the end of May. Everyone will be terribly alternative, meeja, supercool and young. I'm guessing my Sainsburys chinos aren't going to cut the mustard. But I feel I should go to keep the hags' end up, as it were.

Feeling extra glum now, as none of you have any comforting words re short cycles and lack of further babies. PMT is a triple whammy these days: crabby madness; not being pregnant, again; and early onset meaning MENOPAUSE.

Herbs, I think I went through the lack of futher babies a while back. I sometimes regret not having a second child, but as a monumentally rubbish mother it is probably a good thing! Re short cycles - mine does three weeks, four weeks, two months and just randomises itself which is a pita in itself. I thought recently it had given up the ghost, but no, it returned...

Sorry you are feeling glum......do some more Shred? :)

Herbs, I am so sorry. (I had a second but still in many ways if I'm honest regret not having a third - I could have gone for it in my early 40s but I just couldn't face having three quite young children, whereas if I'd had dd1 at 27 instead of 37 I'd definitely have had a break and then one or two more.)

I am glum about many things today including my saggy body (my thighs! My thighs!) and my lack of work, if that helps...

Thanks hags. It's not helped by my NCT group either popping out second babies, or talking about them. Having two young ones looks pretty shit, TBH, and I know I should be grateful for DS. He was a total miracle, taking four years and five miscarriages to get here.

I suppose it's a case of heart says yes; head says no; ovaries say 'naff off'.

In my case it took reaching the despairing conclusion I would NEVER find someone prepared to embark on children with me. And then seizing the ahem moment when it (oh dear) arose.

I appear to be bypassing middle age and going straight into filthy old woman.