As you did so well with the black, jersey maxi that puddled, I've seen some trousers...

[ShowOfHands]

And you can stop with the collective groan. I come here but once a year. Last year you were all marvellous and talked me through a successful shopping trip. Granted I only shopped for around 7 panic-filled minutes but I bought a dress. We all did very well.

Anyway, it's that time of year again. I've taken to noticing what those around me are wearing. It's when the sun comes out I think. People are so much more visible. So, I've seen some trousers. In the manner of a style and beauty thread a la me, the description will be dubious.

Do you remember culottes? I do. In the same sort of way I remember Top Cat and Knightmare. I grew up in the 80s you see. Anyway, they're not culottes in any way, shape or form but something about them is reminiscent of them. They're fairly loose fitting. If you caught the wearer in a gentle breeze and your glance was only cursory, I suspect you might be forgiven for thinking 'skirt'. Not so. They are definitely trousers. I've seen two people wearing them. In two different towns. This is how I know they're out there somewhere, possibly somewhere obvious. Right, dubious description, where was I...

They're blue. They have little flowers on them. They're wide-legged. I'd guess at cotton but as I'm not in the business of guessing materials, natural, synthetic or otherwise, there's a fair to middling chance they're not cotton. They might be polyester mix or hemp or sack or some other fabric that I neither know nor care about. Anyway, I know fabric in the same way I know fashion in general. Namely, not at all.

So blue, wide-legged, floral, loose, sort of swishy, worn by women in Costa and women at street parties.

Have you seen this woman? Did you notice her trousers? I have high hopes.

I know I know!!!!... PRIMARK :)

black, not tiny but I had to zoom in 5x to get a good look at the print, which is lovely, and I quite like them...

Next time you see something who like, could you just sneak up behing the person wearing it, and quickly have a look a the label?

Some loon woman did that to me once in m&s, I was in the queue and she grabbed me by the scruff of the neck .

Or I could try talking to people. Not my style though. I'd embarrass myself. And them. I'd be making a wild stab at 'what beautiful trousers, wherever did you find them good woman' but in my blustering way I'd manage a red-faced and slightly sweaty "I WANT YOUR TROUSERS". And then they call the police and dh has to schlep out and move me on. It's not worth it.

The flowers were quite widely spaced. Not bunched up like in a meadow or on my Grandma's curtains. More subtle. Look, I'm really trying.

And I'm a mild-mannered woman who is not moved to swear except in the most extreme circumstances but if you think I'm going in Primark you can fuck off.

On another note SOH, do you really want to wear these? I'm honestly not sure they are right...they look a bit wrong.

I don't want to discourage your foray into fashion, as I know it is a fragile area for you, however these could look hideous on the wrong ass. Not saying you have the wrong ass, you may have a lovely ass. Ahem..

Maybe look at cropped trousers instead for the summer? Very on trend and easier to wear imo.

My ass is exemplary.

I'm not really bothered by what I look like, as is evidence by what I look like but I do so like these trousers.

It's very kind of you to worry but honestly, I'm wearing a homemade dress. The home that made it was my own and the fabric a curtain remnant. You mustn't worry about 'wrong'.

I did laugh out loud at 'easier to wear' by the way. Cropped trousers are more laidback and self entertain presumably while palazzo whatsits are constantly tugging on themselves and intoning 'muuuuuuuuuuum?'

Ooh I have seen palazzo in relation to trousers before, I knew it sounded familiar somehow. New Joe Browns catalogue. Fabulous trousers. It just came to me in a flash of inspiration. DH said no at the time. He says a lot of things though. They weren't these blue, floral thingies though, but I have seen the word palazzo in a clothing whatsit before. Brochure? Catalogue? That sort of thing. It's seeping in through the process of osmosis. Soon I'll start referring to trousers as 'a trouser'.

LOL, love the sound of homemade dress, I have images of The Good Life, or does that show my age and you've no idea what I am talking about..

when I say 'easier to wear', I could have said 'nicer to see on your exemplary ass'....ie, people not having to shield their eyes from your appearance.... 'easy' as in 'easy on the eye'!

I have to constantly check myself against this notion, as my ass is not so exemplary.

Oh no shielding. People don't look at me. I've perfected the art of appearing largely invisible. If people do notice me it's probably only to assume I'm off to a fancy dress party.

Of course I know of The Good Life, it's my dream to inhabit it. I grow veg, am on the waiting list to get a couple of pigs and wear homemade clothes 85% of the time.

SOH sorry can't do links on my phone but take a look at Zara as they have lots of Palazzo trousers with similar print to your description.

No advice on the great trouser hunt. Just wanted to say welcome back SOH! I remember your thread last year. Gosh is it that time of year already ...ie SOH's annual update of wardrobe! The very best of luck your hunt!!!

you should check in Primark, the trousers you describe were there along with many other colours and prints for not too much money. I was going to buy some but they were flying off the rails at such a pace unfortunately there were none of my size left.
The advantage of getting them from Primark is that if in fact your arse looks less than exemplary in them you haven't wasted too much money.

Zara's a clothes shop ?? I thought I went to school with her. She was really tall. You can call off the search for the trousers I actually want. Have you SEEN these? Aren't they fabulous? I could wear them with my 'I don't belong in S&B t-shirt'.

Ants, I aim to please.

Primark? Really? Are you sure? Do I have to? There are small children in our local Primark that have been lost since 2009. They're stuck under a heap of sunshine yellow vests, crying for somebody to release them. You can hear the echoes. Do I bloody have to?

Don't do it SOH, we may never hear from you again.

Zara trews are really lovely, you're ass will look great.

ShowOfHands - I love your little wanderings onto S&B and your 'puddle dress' thread is my favourite MN convo EVER but wide-legged floral trousers are a v v v bad thing and Primark is a v v v v v bad thing: please don't do either.

Zara

Oasis

M&S

Asos

Any good?

I will forever be remembered for that puddle dress. I do wear it far too much. It has a hole in the bottom where the puddle keeps getting in the way. I will wear it into the ground.

Maia, the Zara ones actually are curtains, Oasis link is forbidden which sounds utterly thrilling, M&S and ASOS offerings, with all due respect and deference to people who know about fashion are chiffony in a way that implies your Mum picked them for your first secondary school disco thinking you looked like a 'young lady' when in fact you look like what you are. Somebody your Mum dressed.

Zara is ££ too.

Have you all namechanged since last year. Where's traceybath, she's always mocking my fashion sense?

These sites you link to, a lot of them have categories titled 'jumpsuits'. Are they serious? I'm afraid to click. Are they for adult women?

Go on, SoH, click. You know you want to.

How about these?

Given your known love of shopping and all things fashion-related. I have been trying to limit my search to shops in Chapelfield and its immediate surroundings. In fact, you must go to Chapelfield and report back to S&B about the hell known as Hollister .

Have you tried 'Head in the Clouds'?

Does it work now?

No! How very strange.

The item in question is called 'mini heart print palazzo trouser' and is actually quite nice of its type.

N.B. it is a trouser and not a pair of trousers.

Ooh - now Head in the Clouds would be the very place.
For the uninitiated, it's a shop that sells bongs and henna and joss sticks. And patchouli. You know the sort of place. But at the back they have some surprisingly nice clothes sometimes - and wide printed trousers would be right up their street. Plus, you'd come out smelling of incense.

And if you cough 3 times and scratch your left ear they bring out the good stuff.

I LOVE Head In The Clouds. The part of my shoe collection that isn't Doc Marten's consists of thai velvet slippers from Feet On The Ground next door. I miss living near Norwich. I might go back just to mooch about the lanes a bit. I have several pairs of embroidered trousers (some with tiny mirrors on them, oh yes) and some fisherman's trousers in ridiculous stripes from HITC.

Chapelfield is like the inner circle of hell. I've seen that Hollister shop. It's like a bat cave from which beautiful people emerge, blinking, into the light.