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Original poster

Late 40s, menopausal and fading

1000 replies

Swedes2 · 21/04/2011 13:27

I haven't as yet submitted to the full beard and elasticated waistband trousers. But heck, it's hard isn't it? I absolutely love clothes, make-up, and all that shit.... but I am becoming more and more interested in my garden (not a euph). Last night I went to the garage to buy milk in my gardening clothes.

Anyone else going through the same thing? Have you any tips you can share?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 22/04/2011 19:43

I am becoming middley too and have started back on the low carb today as it is my only saviour but I feel it may not work this time. I don't ant to be a barrel

teahouse · 22/04/2011 19:46

I have put weight on, on my thighs and on my tummy (hate that so much). I also seem to have developed stress incontinence, and huge bags under my eyes that just won't go. I hate to think how bad I'd be if I wasn't on HRT.

SingingTunelessly · 22/04/2011 19:50

Wyken - 41! 40 flaming 1! I remember getting away with tinted moisturiser in the morning then. Congratulations on the weight loss btw that is great.

Mittenkitten - I've been using RapidLash you can buy it from Boots or most places I think. Strangely enough I was just using it on a fairly ad-hoc basis but suddenly I had eyelashes! The sort that people notice (my mum thought I'd had extensions again).

Think it's what most of us (over 45s say) it's the sheer time it takes to look good/reasonable enough not to scare the sheep now.

mittenkitten007 · 22/04/2011 19:57

Thanks Singing! Oooh, exciting! Hope the Boots near here has it!

Yes, I am afraid that if I stop doing everything I'm doing people will hiss and make the sign of the cross when I pass them in the street.

LadyCornyOfSilk · 22/04/2011 19:58

I've started running (for the first time) which seems to be making a leetle bit of difference.

minieggfan · 22/04/2011 21:57

WhatsWrongWithYou - I suspected that giving up wine might be the answer! Seems particularly cruel when feel I need the wine with dinner more than ever as comfort for: hot flushes, jowls, weeble person thing going on mid-section and crazy mood swings.
Water just doesn't cut it somehow!

LadyCornyOfSilk · 22/04/2011 22:09

yes I sleep better when I've not been drinking. Most annoying.

rubyrubyruby · 22/04/2011 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Swedes2 · 22/04/2011 23:10

Oooh I love you all. How lovely to find so many of you all on here.

It's the lean ribcage just beneath your bust that disappears suddenly and depressingly one morning. The thickened torso is just so incredibly sexless and blokey. It's this bit that I hate the most I think. Having a tummy isn't so bad so long as you have a waist and a ribcage -- a shape.

Oh and my eyebrows have all but stopped growing but I get the odd hair that creeps out of my face and it can be alarmingly long before I notice. It feels such a trick.

My night sweats are awful at the moment, I find drinking a lot (r r a lot) of water throughout the day helps a lot.

OP posts:
minieggfan · 22/04/2011 23:16

So if we can't drink wine what can we frickin' drink?

Maybe I can substitute the sleeping tablets for wine and just sleep through all the hideousness.

LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:25

yes - the fat ribcage - the bane of the middle aged lady. I will not succumb...

LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:25

minieggfan - drink the wine....just hide the creme eggs

CointreauVersial · 23/04/2011 00:30

Ohhhh, I've found my spiritual home thread...

44 here, and it's been a strange year. I had a dawning realisation last spring that I was getting that middle-aged "thick-set" midriff, so I embarked on a running programme and gave up carbs.....all well and good; I now weigh less that I have done in years.

But what's this? Periods have started going haywire, libido has hit the floor, I can only conclude that I have a new battle to fight, which may need more than a plateful of cauliflower rice and a new pair of trainers.

I don't feel 44, that's the problem. I still feel like I'm in my twenties, until I look in the mirror and see a face like a bag of old frogs. OK, a nice size 10 figure, but I'm too old to use it! Losing the weight and getting fit has been a good thing, but I can't think for the life of me why I left it so bloomin' long.

LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:32

cointreau you are my virtual twin

Original poster
Swedes2 · 23/04/2011 00:43

I have two teenagers (as well as two littlies) and at parents' evenings I note that there are the colourless mothers who've succumbed and mothers who gleam still. Do you know I think even a bit of lipgloss makes a big difference.

When women give up, they give up in a pretty wholesale way.

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 23/04/2011 00:45

Oh, I don't want to ever give up, but at the same time, it is possible to try too hard (the whole "Whitney dressed as Britney" thing).

LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:47

women who give up end up on Gok

tallwivglasses · 23/04/2011 00:57

"but I don't feel ready to become one of those ladies who disappears to her garden age 48, never to return, Sort of thing."

Oh I do. It's very liberating Grin

bleedingstill · 23/04/2011 01:16

Fuck. I've just found my new home. Buggering hell

noddyholder · 23/04/2011 07:57

What is the best thing for the rib cage roll then? Exercise and low carb both of which I have re started with a vengeance. Am having a wine free month too but that is because I am knackered and have been going out way too much.

minieggfan · 23/04/2011 08:06

LadyofCornsilk - yes you may have hit on it (my name was a bit of a giveaway!).

I am going to give up sugar, start running and only drink the wine at weekends.

Not all middle aged women have the midriff bulge. It CAN'T be inevitable.

faustina · 23/04/2011 08:13

not inevitable. I think it's because your metabolism suddenly slows right down, so you need to do more and eat less to make up for that, and from bitter experience, it's better to do it sooner rather than later, because when you lose weight at this age things don't ping back like they used to.

foundwanting · 23/04/2011 08:15

DS1 took a picture of me in the garden yesterday....in my bikini.

Does anyone know where Nigella got her burquini?

noddyholder · 23/04/2011 08:19

I feel quite motivated by this read for some reason. It is not like the style one or the diet one it feels more specific and relevant to me and I think the support and recognition is great. My main aim now is to shift my midriff as I think it bothers me most. I don.t think I even had it at Xmas!

cabbageroses · 23/04/2011 08:28

fedupandfifty- I feel for you.

Your GP is being unreasonable. Latest research shows no/practically no increase in breast cancer using HRT for 5 years, then a small rise gradually up to 10+ years.

There was a huge discussion on this on Woman's Hour a few months back with drs. One woman dr said many women drs take HRT and her view was that 10 years' use was safe.

Even drs who are very conservative should/will prescribe for a couple of years.

My gynae's view is that it is the patient's choice once he has explained the risks. He is a top rate specialist who is dr to some of the royal family.

I have taken it for 2.5 years now and feel great- loads of energy, weight normal same as before HRT, sleeping better, feel more sexual....

if you want to try it then I'd suggest you see another dr or find a menopause clinic or private gynae.

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