Late 40s, menopausal and fading

[Swedes2]

I haven't as yet submitted to the full beard and elasticated waistband trousers. But heck, it's hard isn't it? I absolutely love clothes, make-up, and all that shit.... but I am becoming more and more interested in my garden (not a euph). Last night I went to the garage to buy milk in my gardening clothes.

Anyone else going through the same thing? Have you any tips you can share?

I tried those eyelash extensions and really couldn't cope with the faff of having them re-done so often. But I have been using the lash growing stuff that you paint on and it works for me so am happy with that and mascara. Am off for facial on Saturday which I seem to need more regularly now.

Just seems that you reach a point when you are 'good for your age' rather than just looking good. That is a bit of a pita. Oh well.

Looking at yourself in a ciricle of mirrors is small minnows these days.

Gok has Serious Conversations with women about clothes while they are in their bras and nicks trying to look normal. At least trinny's wimmin got to stare in mirrors and just groan about the view.

Ah, all you bright young things!! Am 59 and take quite a lot of trouble with my appearance - very seldom without make-up, wear heels to work etc. Fortunate that I look younger or so people say. Eat Nutella healthily and exercise - hard to keep the weight off since I gave up smoking but hanging in there. Slap on the moisturiser, clean off the make-up at bedtime, can't help keeping up with the music with DD (16) around. Don't sweat the small stuff. Cleaning and domesticity get fitted in with work and hobbies, not the other way round. Trying to grow old disgracefully. Trying to be positive AMAP and having a laugh whenever I can. Life is not a rehearsal.

I do agree WMD it just all seems like hard work at times and I have never had to work at it. Find low carb diet works for me but have been woefully bad lately and am really feeling it. Oh well off to bed I look ok in the dark !

Good post. 48 next month here and going down fighting. My gardening years took place in my 20s as I moved in with DH who had a garden whereas I'd grown up without one so it felt like a huge privilege and pleasure. Soon got over that. Now I get enthusiastic and buy a couple of new plants a year and leave them under a bench until they shrivel.

I've never felt confident about my looks and always had a tendency to hide myself away - nice, fashionable clothes were for other women and my main aim was to disguise my boobs.

Don't care any more. I've deliberately learned how to dress to fatter my shape and will walk into any shop (apart from the achingly expensive - still like a bit of a bargain) without batting an eyelid.

I don't mind the ageing so much as I never felt pretty before, but I don't like the dragging down effect at the lower half of my face, nor the fact my eyes seem to be sinking into my head.

I too have a spare tyre, having been an hourglass who used to gain weight 'in the right places.' Have recently given up sugar in all its evil forms (apart from a couple of glasses of wine at weekends), and lost 4lbs - more quickly than I ever managed on SW.

Must try the progesterone cream again - dropped the last pot so only got to use it a few times.

Yes - good post WMD.

I think there's a point where you have to give up trying to look like an 'older' young woman and go for looking like a young 'older' woman.

I'm not really bemoaning getting older - I'm a lot more relaxed these days and generally enjoying life - just a shame I'm having to hump this spare tyre around with me.

Is this cream worth the price tag? (bearing in mind my current face cream is from Aldi)

I am not ready to give in just yet. I am 46 in November and think I will shout and scream til I am 50 and then forget it. It does feel like hard work ATM off tom walk round the park for an hour am thnking of digging out my old plates DVD when I get back!

There's a Zumba class at my gym starting next week noddy. I'm wondering if I should go and strut my stuff amongst the 20somethings.

Yes do!

Ooooo, I need this thread. Am 41 and in the middle of losing a huge amount of weight that I should have lost a decade ago. So now face being relatively thin by Christmas for the first time in about 20 years but obviously everything will be different in 40's compare to 20's, will need a whole new wardrobe and have to work out how to dress as a thinner than this time last year 40 something .Have lost 55lbs but still have 47lbs to go. Taken up swimming, walk a fair bit and have been gardening a lot so feel much better but White hairs are coming through at alarming pace.

Was chatting to a guy who turned out to be a personal trainer in the pool recently and am going to have a few sessions with him as feel I need some kind of exercise routine to keep me going the next few years and hoping he can sort out my bingo wings and post section stomach, doubt he's a miracle worker though.

Also am about to get a National Trust allotment so I've completely had it now haven't I, gardening and the NT in one go, there is no hope left.

Oh, me too -- this thread is making me feel normal. Almost 45, think my skin is starting to go papery, grey hair a-go-go, suddenly putting on weight on my thighs and bum where I never used to put on weight . . . . It is awful how it happens overnight. I am sure it's hormones and have recently been seriously considering HRT. Also bought some progesterone cream but was under teh impression I am only supposed to use it for last 14 days of cycle? Is that true?

Like WhatsWrong, I have recently tried to give up sugar completely and that (or something) has helped me shift 2 - 3 lbs.

Singing, what eyelash stuff do you use and where do you buy it?

Have been gardening since my 20s so that's nothing new!

Watching this thread with interest too. I'm 46 and find it hard to find the time and /or energy for all the maintenance seemingly required. Unlike 20's when no mainenance required and hours of time available! I don't want to sink into 'invisible old lady' as a couple of friends seem to have done! (I do love them though, nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me). I have to say I look to my mother for inspiration these days - she's always dressed well as long as I remember, but not OTT, helped by maintaining a healthy weight. I think being the right/healthy weight for you is the key, gives much more confidence.

Watching for more tips. Intrigued by the eyelash extension recommendations...

cornsilk I think that is what I am struggling with The sheer effort!

I can feel my back and knees if I do anything more than a 1/2 hour walk or cycle ride. Is that normal? If I overdo the exercise one day I'll really feel it the next - I know I sound old now!! Little and often suits me better at the moment but I don't know if I should be resigned to that (and accept being 'old'!) because exercise does make you feel so much better. Used to be a lot more active in my younger days.

Off for a spot of gardening.

The weight around the middle thing is an absolute bummer and I speak as someone who has never been thin or even slim. But its so hard to hide.

Suddenly it becomes obvious why old people clothes have elasticated waists.

45 going on 46. I'm embracing the rapidly greying hair now that I've finally found a stylist who can cut properly - I have maintenance cuts of a style that suits me every 6 weeks and the grey is getting more prominent but in a good way, not in a mad old bag way. Clothes - buy less, buy better. But the key thing for me is cycling, which I discovered late (about 4 years ago) and am now completely addicted to. I've got legs like Cyd Charisse, honest. Face like Frankie Howerd but one can't have it all.

I am the same age as you 45 and will be 46 in November. I find the general overall squidginess which has crept up very disconcerting

I'm 48 and on the other side of the menopause. I think I have worked my way through most of the feelings posters have on this thread but, at the moment, I honestly feel that I look better than I did 10 years ago - not younger - but better !!

I always had dreadful hormonal acne and the menopause has sorted that out.
I wore too much make up to try and cover the spots - now I wear much less which is more flattering.

I buy better quality clothes - just less of them.

I have my hair professionally coloured instead of the awful home jobs I used to attempt.

Yes I have more wrinkles and more weight around the middle but getting old is largely in the mind. We might not turn as many heads as the younger ladies but there is no need to blend into the background. Get bright accessories, go eccentric, go a bit loopy !! Anything so you don't become invisible

Hmmm, well I was squidgy (to say the least) in my 30s and then lost a load of weight (5 stone) at 39, so being slim and exercising is still quite new to me. The older I get the harder I want to work at physical stuff - my biggest fear is that my knees or something will give out. I smoked like an idiot for decades too, so I'm making up for lost time. I guess the middle aged spread is just biding its time but I'm damned if I'm going down without a fight.

Hi I'm Cybil and ...I'm peri menopausal

My skin had dried up like a prune although my is still greasy

My face looks like the last potato in the sack

My girth has widened considerable in the last year

My grey hair is like Japanese Fucking Knotweed

So a garden centre is where I actually feel like quite the fox these days

Oh God...I'm garden centre totty

All you need is gritty determination and cash to spend. And old birds tend to have a bit of both.

I'm sure a topic was set up a few years back about peri menopausal

garden centre totty. Oh yes.

You know, the adage about buying better quality clothes is all very well but the key is knowing what suits you. I'd happily buy from new Look (not that often but still), because I can recognise things that will flatter my shape.

I'd rather wear a Zara skirt that flatters me than a Vivienne Westwood that makes my arse look like a sack of old spanners not difficult to achieve these days.