Late 40s, menopausal and fading

[Swedes2]

I haven't as yet submitted to the full beard and elasticated waistband trousers. But heck, it's hard isn't it? I absolutely love clothes, make-up, and all that shit.... but I am becoming more and more interested in my garden (not a euph). Last night I went to the garage to buy milk in my gardening clothes.

Anyone else going through the same thing? Have you any tips you can share?

This thread has got me really confused...
it began with a moan about age and has now turned into the gardening column!

FWIW i think that once you hit the big 50 you embrace one of two outlooks-

either you give up, go grey, wear mumsy ill fitting clothes etc etc nad gradually fade. I think grey hair is ageing unless you have truly beautiful hair, a great cut, and great bone structure.

OR

you keep up your interest in looking good and MAKE AN EFFORT!

My friends and i are 50 + and none of us look or feel it.

Yes, some of us are on HRT, but not to preserve our youth.

What we do do though is:

take care of our hair- ditch the short old-lady crops ( me) and grow it jaw length with soft layers and soft honey highlights (I was fair anyway)

take care of our skin ( SPF 25 at least every day)

don't smoke

drink very little if at all

Exercise- walk, run, yoga, pilates, etc etc.

wear fashion adapted to our age- eg skinny-ish dark wash jeans, ballet pumps, and cardis still work.

KEEP OUR WEIGHT DOWN- I weigh almost the same as I did at 21- just about 4 lbs heavier.

have a few simple cosmetic treatments if necessary- I have had my teeth whitened, had a mole removed off my face, and have had some Restylane in my cheeks.

It takes more effort than being 21 but it does work.

I'm so with you on the above, cabbage - in fact, I notice loads of women in their 30s/early 40s with younger DCs who look far closer to the ageing lady stereotype than I hope I ever will.

Still working on the weight thing - I still weigh 10lbs more than I did pre-DCs, but that only crept up on me about 3 years ago. I finally seem to be getting to grips with it now, having given up sugar and weekday alchohol which has brought me 5lbs nearer to target.

Won't be giving in to the grey for at least another 10 years I reckon, but I appreciate some people do suit it so if I turn out to be one of those I'll happily embrace it!

Agree re. the dark jeans, cardis etc - capris are also my friend atm, as are skirts just above the knee. Got into a calf-length rut a while back when I was more conscious of hiding my weight but they were so ageing.

For anyone considering embracing grey, there was a site mentioned a while ago all about this where they post before and after pics. Some looked better but not all. Anyone remember it?

Am keeping up the colour for the moment, although I've seen some brilliant examples of grey. Think it would just wash me out. And I don't really think of it as an additional age-related task as I've been changing colour since about 21.

Another recent help, and I know it has been done to death on other threads, but the Babyliss Big Hair is just about the only hair thing I've ever used successfully.

I agree with you too !

In fact, I am more fashion-savvy now than i was in my 30s which were a fashion desert for me- had my DCs at 31 and 33 so I simply was all consumed by kids well into my 40s. I did the droopy skirts then and look back and think AAaaaaaargh!

I think you need to be ruthless with clothes- I buy very little and mainly safe basics which I add some nice accessories to.

I have sold loads of things on Ebay which i realised were just not doing me any favours.

I know I keep harping on about it, but being overweight is really ageing. No need to be a size 8-10, but if you are carrying a stone or more excess it does you no favours.

Tht thing is, you don't need to spend a lot- my best fitting jeans are from Uniqlo and cost £15 and £29. Converses £35.

I would suggest that you treat yourself to something each year to stop the rot!

eg great hair cut and colour
teeth whitening
colour analysis

make an effort every day- little bit of make up, hair washed and dried, and even if you just wear jeans and a T shirt- which I do- make sure the jeans FIT and that the top is a colour that flatters you.

Km griselina not reliably hardy in uk except in Coastal areas. Cut back all the dead bits. You might have to prune it as bit as it grows to stop it getting leggy. Depends how badly it's damaged

Cabbages, don't be confused, we clever women can multi task . I agree with you about the clothes, its really important to know what suits you ( body shape, colouring , personality) instead of what's just in fashion. In your 40s it's so much harder to get away with things that just don't work for you. IMHO

I think it's vital to know what suits you rather than what you like! I had my colours done and it was an eye opener.

I like peach and nude shades, but they make me look like death. I like floaty dresses but at 5' 3" they swamp me- I have to go for fitted shifts to do me any favours.

Becuase of my size, I know that I have to go for a minimalist look with neat trousers, skirts and dresses that fit.

Looking back at photos, all my clothes were often too big, too droopy, and did me no favours.

I also think you can sometimes wear certain styles in some colours but not others- eg a dress in navy or grey might look stunning whereas the pink or pale blue would only suit a 20 yr old or a granny.

Shade and dryness caused by humungous laurel which I've cut back to within an inch of it's life but need to keep for privacy. (if anyone is still available for gardening tips). Need a shrub - skimmia maybe - some hardy annuals and begging - begonia?

We need to think of a name for our next thread as we're fast approaching 1000 posts. We are going to carry on aren't we.

I'm now going to sit in my nice tidy garden with Pimms and cake; avoiding the fact that the house is a tip.

For hand cream - the Body Shop Hemp one is great. Not the cheapest, but not too expensive either, and lasts well.

body shop hemp was on offer when I last looked - buy one get one half price
It's brilliant stuff

Saggar and Herbaceous I also have a shady patch that needs something to at least cover the ground - my Mum reckoned periwinkle but I would like sth that has a little bit of height too maybe? I am really not into gardening and have a tiny one, mostly paved but would liekto do a bit more to it.
Hand cream - I think Norwegian formula is great, also cheap. But I dont think it has any specific anti aging/brown spot properties.

ANNOUNCEMENT

I think the hard core work is paying off

I look a LOT better, even in the last week

I'd like to thank...Avon for their MARVELLOUS night serums and brow lift gel I'd like to thank Amy at Rush hair for my great lowlights . I'd like to say thanks to my mate for making me weigh myself...and anyone else who knows me

You can put Clooney down, for a start.

Thanks so much for this thread, it's an answer to my prayers. But over 900 postings, cripes I'm going to be 50 by the time I read all this!

To quote... I could be some time......

cyb which particular Avon night serum?

soya don't even consider periwinkle. I put some in and have been fighting the bastard stuff ever since. It sneaks all over your garden and strangles you other plants.

Am seriously thinking of making appointment for botox consultation next week but I am scared of needles.

Alchemilla Mollis will withstand a shady spot and it's beautiful, I love its frilly leaves and the way dew sits on its large leaves in the mornings. It looks particularly lovely with something dark blue; what about that ground cover that has blue spikes and aubergine coloured leaves? Or what about some simple sculptural box balls and put some dark bark down around them so it looks very neat and tidy.

My German friends left at 7.30am this morning and I've spent all day in the garden. It's been total bliss but my hands, ugh. I should really wear gloves but I like to feel the soil. I'm going to have to go and soak in a bath in a little while. I feel all contented and middle-aged.

Cyb - Brilliant.

I am starting my self-improvement plan this week. Tomorrow. Running.

Cyb - where is Rush? I need a new colourist.

cyb that is great! I have skipped one days walking in 3 weeks but the difference in my overall mindset has really improved. Have eaten some goodies today as ds is 17 and we had an m and s picnic in the garden with him but apart from that am feeling virtuous. really need to brave the scales

Dieting and exercise going v badly - spent the day with inlaws and their multiple puddings. But have two Jillian Michaels DVDs in the post. Also planning sugar and booze bans for week days.

Skin care looking up - have bought neal's yard frankincense cream, and will get olays serum.

As for my shady patch, it's on a north-facing wall, under a fig tree. There's periwinkle there already - the 'minor' version isn't too invasive - but need something more interesting. Plus a climber.

I love neal's yard frankincense cream

I am definitely slightly less podgy around the waist but am not properly in my target pair of shorts, which I keep to remind myself of how slim I need to be each Summer

I felt great this morning - this evening I feel bloated and grumpy. Too much bread I think - that's caused the bloats. Not sure what's caused the grumps.

BIWI how's the leg?

I avoid bread - it is evil

saggar - it's much better, but I can still feel that there's something not quite right.

I went to the gym today, to see if I could find a trainer who could help me. Found one who was just finishing her shift. I can use the bikes and the cross-trainer, apparently, along with something new called the Power Plat - essentially a big vibrating mat that you stand, sit or lie on. Goodness knows, really, how that will help.

I went to have a go on the bike, but all the machines have been changed since I was last in the gym, and I couldn't even work out how to turn it on

I'm going to go back on Tuesday when, hopefully, more staff will be available to help me!