Should auld, WISE and AVID acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, as long as they continue to shop, 2011 will be of the very best kind

[macmama]

New thread

Bunny You can do it! The skills/talents/gifts on this thread never cease to amaze me.

I only have one child and still my usual culinary skills only stretch to pricking a couple of holes in a dish and bunging it in the oven.

hells yes I have that Zara blouse (or similar) in silk leopard and it's a tad too big in a small - but fine if balanced with skinny bottoms i think - will look great on you

DT I got the Dune studs in a 41 so 42 should be fine for you

plummy's lovely sequin mango top arrived but is unfort a bit more fitted than I wanted. However, I tried this last night and it looked quite good, what do you think?

bunny yes yes to Westfield! even before I go _ P& C at nursery all day tuesdays so could come just with L?

esher- yes, she still practices law in a magic circle firm (and trained in another). She does work long hours, although the hours seem to vary and I think she has the majority of weekends off. Her salary is certainly excellent (speaking as an NHS employee married to another) and the Partners earn huge amounts! Importantly, she doesn't have a family and I'm not sure she would stay in the same line of work if she were to have children.

Dune studs, KG shoeboots x 2 ordered (with codes, thank you esher ). Update on delivery.

cake Reiss top is lovely. Perfect on your supermodel body. I do like Reiss.

bunny Treat yourself to something extra special soon. You SO deserve it.

Goodnight all - Need a few hours of sleep as children's party for DS2 tomorrow and most of his nursery are going. I need to re-energise!

Feeding babies...

Cakey -yes, love to meet up on a Tuesday! Just PM/email me when suits you... This Tues not sure as if Wonder Nanny is sick, will be at home juggling children...

Really, Wise Ladies, don't be too impressed - I have a full time nanny and most of you don't! It makes a HUGE difference, as I found out yesterday.

Looby - another former magic circle lawyer here, and while the salaries are nice, the hours are not, so on a per hour basis the salary isn't as good as it might appear. Although prob the case for many professions!

everything - sorry, but your DH sounds impossible - how exasperating! "I can't respond to every single little thing he says!" Err, why not? Would he like it if people selective responded to him. And, besides, what the hell else is more important?? House that you are looking at tomorrow is charming - would make a darling little home.

Re lawyering in the city as a mother. It can be done. It depresses me that so many women think it can't be done, quite a self-fufilling prophecy really.

I would agree that lawyering like a MAN in the city is not family-friendly but there are other ways to do it. As a mother its true that you won't be in the office from 8am to 8pm Monday to Friday but it doesn't mean you can't do the job and do it well and still be a loving parent who is there most mornings and nights for their children.

I was uber stressed going back to work last year (as you all know) but actually most of it was down to bad mental attitude I am feeling very very different this year its like a switch has been flicked inside and O am ready to give combining work and home another go. I was playing with DD1 today and said to her "I think you have your old unstressed mummy back" and she agreed wholeheartedly. I am all over the housework, entertaining, you name it!

LTEC how exciting! I am sure you will make friends quickly and a move from SE London's nappy valley & all its middle class mania might be a great change!

I have been shopping today (just a little!) but too lazy to link to my bargains tonight - off to bed (have been clearing out cupboards!)

sorry to rant about the law thing as if I was in the same position as someone like esher married to a lawyer I would probably be a SAHM too.

its just a real bugbear of mine as there are literally hardly ANY mothers in senior roles in the law and so many women drop out altogether at the first hint of a family its usually only the ones like me (who aren't married to other lawyers and bankers!) who keep at it and, even then, very few full time. But times are changing, most firms are surprisingly flexible these days provided they like you and provided you are flexible too when needed to be.
My DD's are my life and soul but I have to work to pay our way. Luckily I enjoy my job and I am good at my job I have a lot of offer that many of my male colleagues and childless colleagues might not have. The fact that I am a woman and a mother makes me who I am and IMO makes me better at my job not worse(and the fact that I am working to feed and house my children makes me seriously conscientious!) . But I pointblank refuse to pretend to think and act like a man to get ahead. I will not be found networking over evening drinks every other week and frankly nor will most of my female clients! They have families too! My point is that these days there is far more room to do things differently to the way men have traditionally done it. I have been known to sneak in shopping trips with female clients after meetings, male clients like to talk to me about their families on the train back from meetings - its all business development but one size doesn't fit all - the best business development anyone can do is to do an excellent job for their clients after all.

Not sure if I will be offered partner yet (although should find out in next 2 years) or if I really want it but there is definitely one part of me would love to show people that it can be done and that I don't have to deprioritise my family to do it not least to give some of the younger female lawyers a postive role model! Only time will tell if I will keep this attitude - last year I decided I wanted to drop out, but right now my contrary streak has come back. But do I want to be a partner like a man does it? No freaking way!!!

Would my job put me off having kids - NO! (But it worried me before I tried it!)
Do I want another baby - YES!
Would I try to do this job with 3 kids if I was lucky enough to have another? YES!

Boy that rant was very therapeutic - and, oh my word, DD2 is still sleeping in her cot and its nearly 2am!

Roary! Glad the flights were good. Ours were too, no tears! (bfding really helped).

Jetlag hmmm yes what time is it? The children have had eggs and bacon and are playing happily. Got any tips?

macmama you are on a roll!

ltec big move! good luck, sounds good

Esher I envy my friends and wealthy family who live (successfully!) in the beautiful central parts of London and Paris. So lovely.
We are fairly central, enough for dh to cycle to work etc, and in nice area, but not Kensington or Marylebone!

Mac - I agree w all that you are saying, except that in my experience it is almost impossible to combine seeing your children and doing transactional work (corporate M&A was my practice area) at a magic circle firm. The female partners in my group either 1) didn't have children; or 2) suggested either SAHD or FT live in nanny if one did have children. The hours of transactional work involved evenings/all nighters and weekends on a regular basis, let alone "extras" like client entertainment. Perhaps its possible to seeing your children in non-transactional areas/roles, but, honestly, it was widely recognised that until one was a senior partner, transactional work involved working (usually in the office) v non-child friendly hours. The partners were sorry that this was the case but, at least until I left, no solution had been found (despite being explored). I'm really glad this isn't the situation for you, and it is v encouraging to hear your story (no one starts law wanting to drop out down the line), but in the circumstances I set out, it was/is for so many of my colleagues.

Oops, I do mean "almost impossible to combine seeing your children midweek". Most women I know either moved out of law or went in-house. I will get my posts removed later - I don't normally like to discuss meaty RL topics that I could be identified by on MN.

Morning all!
That house looks perfect everything, and ready to move into. Best of luck with it!
bunny, hope wondernanny is better soon!

Everything, the house looks great.

LTEC and Bunny, can DD and I come and meet you too? :) We are not too far from Westfield.

It must be difficult to combine being a lawyer with having young DC, none of my friends who are lawyers have stayed in the profession so I do hope you make partner, Macmama, so you can show people it can be done. I dropped out of law, I am sorry I didn't stick at it.

TV magically working again this morning! It took a few days for the box to dry out.

DT ? I think I know the Joseph dress you mean. I can imagine you will look very beautiful in that! I love all the Joseph stuff at the moment. It seems to fit me very well but it?s SO expensive isn?t it? In the sale it suddenly becomes a bit more realistic.

Kildare and all? I was impatient and didn?t wait for feedback! I ordered the blouse and now I know I?ll probably have to send back. LTEC/Esher?I thought it was very familiar ? I remember the leopard print (though discounted as I don?t suit those colours).

Esher ? I do love those boots too but cannot justify another pair of black boots...it is becoming something of an ?issue? ? I have far too many!

Bunny ? hope wonder nanny is back to full health on Monday! And I?m impressed you braved soft play!

LTEC ? I think the Reiss top looks great?assuming with ?magic? jeans?

Everything ? that must be so hard?stuck in a sort silent trap. But the house looks like a lovely size and I?m hoping you get it with no problems

Carciofi ? hurrah for fixed TV

Mac ? glad you are getting it to work - I'll keep out of the magic circle debate as I don't have the insider knowledge!

I?m wearing and loving my new star (sale) Joseph blouse. But very cross because my feet seem to have expanded and I realise I should have got the larger size boots from R&B?.urghhhhh. My fault as I was rushing ? now I have to return it and exchange which I really don?t have time for.

All those mentions of the Leon book?I finally got book 1 a few weeks back and made the meatballs which were a huge success ? so I?m very tempted to try the restaurant as we have one fairly near.

I'm amazed at the number of lawyers here.

Hello my name is Oooohwhatifithurts and I'm a lawyer in the City too, although my firm is much less ruthless nightmarish when it comes to hours as the magic circle. I've just gone back to work after taking a year off so it was interesting to hear what you said macmama. I too have no intention of doing the out-of-hours schmoozing and have gone back part time, which I think will be fine day-to-day but may halt my career progression. Luckily I was made a partner before having DS but I don't think I'll be welcomed into the equity big money at any time soon.

But then that's my choice isn't it? I find myself agreeing with Bonsoir (sometimes ) when she talks about women in the workplace. If I'm completely honest, I'm not prepared to give as much of myself as men in my position are. I started planning DC2 as soon as I had to get to grips with the idea of going back to work and plan to take another year off.

On that subject, a BFN this morning. I can't quite accept it though IYKWIM. I still have that lingering feeling that I am pregnant as I had neon wee and everything but the stick disagrees. To get over it I have shredded this morning and decided to delurk permanently.

Soooo, will you have me as a W&A apprentice? I'm not naturally stylish like so many of you here so do need some firm guidance!

im not prepared to give us much of myself in terms of hours in the office etc as a man but I am prepared to bring work home as long as I can be home with my littlies and try and combine the two. My point is that there needs to be more of a place for lawyers who want to lawyer in a female more family friendly way. the traditional male way of doing things doesn't strike a chord with many women and thats why women leave in droves.

But we shouldn't have to be like men in order to progress - our femaleness should be celebrated because it gives us a lot of things that are a benefit to clients and the firm - its not just negative (ie, can't work the same office hours!)

My kids are totally my priority and i TOTALLY understand why people stay at home with their kids I think its a great idea and best for the kids really but, while I have to work, then I want to do it well.

Bad luck on the BFN - took me 2.5 years to get DD2 I know how disheartening that negative stick can be - chin up!

ps im not magic circle but in very big firm. i meet plenty of magic circle and ex magic circle lawyers i know some are on MN and working very flexibly!

Completely agree mac. My firm is chock full of brilliant women and there has recently been an explosion of pregnancies, so they are going to have to be creative and find slightly less conventional ways of working. Otherwise, even just looking at a business model, they are going to lose many of their best assets which can't be good?

I am naturally bone idle lost some of my ambition when I fell pregnant with DS1 so genuinely don't feel I deserve to be rewarded as handsomely as my contemporaries. But that's me, not womenkind generally.

Not too gutted about the BFN - I've not yet had a period and it was only a collection of familiar symptoms (I've only ever had highlighter yellow wee when I'm pregnant) which made me think I'm in with a chance. Is it wrong to be relieved because I now have another month's shopping and clothes-wearing? But 2.5 years - that must have been very, very hard. I'm not equipped to deal with that kind of delay at all. Can't imagine it . You must have been so pleased when DD2 put in an appearance!

yep it was amazing. I didnt have much patience either when I started TTC her but I didn't have much choice! In a strange way it was a good lesson. Luckily I had work to distract me (it was a good diversion). I am not sure how old your DC1 is? I found it took me about 18 months to find my feet at work again after DD1, coming back quicker after DD2.

I am so lucky - they are the most beautiful girls in the world (sorry everyone else )

and i have lost loads of great female colleagues over years most people wont try to combine both (work and family) IME

And all the beautiful girls' clothes you get to buy! and emoticon.

I'm rubbish at delaying gratification and found our 3 month wait for the first BFP difficult! DS is now 13 months. We'd decided to crack on with DC2 because it's questionable how worthwhile it is to be ambitious and make huge efforts career/profile-wise ATM if I'm only going to disappear for another year. So I'm accepting that the next few months won't be the most impressive, but that I will come back in earnest and don my serious-lawyer-hat post DC2. How that would pan out if I don't fall pregnant.... I don't know.

I've been seconded to somewhere really cool on returning which could be a lot of fun. And it removes the pressure re hours. I'm surrounded by young creative types so may have an excuse to add to my working wardrobe!

Speaking of funking up the working wardrobe, what do you think of this? I have tried it on and it is a neat fit.

Be honest, I am an apprentice after all!

x-post: yes, I'm currently trying to persuade my BF at work to stay - she's umming and ahhring for those reasons. We need to stick together! If I ever went I think it would be because I have remembered who I am in the last year and don't want to lose that. Pre-DC I gave so much of myself - great career but in hindsight a complete mess in terms of how I looked after myself (work till 9-10pm, followed by pizza, curry anything easy) and my social life. I don't want to be there again.

qualified as lawyer, practised briefly, decided not for me - as much bc of the kind of mother I wanted to be as bc of personality issues (ie mine not suited to corporate life - )

anyone making it work, well done.

But do think you have to be careful, when defending your position, not to sound as though you are trying to make others feel like they have copped out/ failed/ been lightweight for choosing a different path.

carciofi and bunny what say you to next Tues? P&C will be settled back at nursery by then, Wondernanny should be back to full health and I could do with a nice coffee and chat with my A&W friends in RL.