need some wedding/step kids advice please

[MissLaRue]

I'd like some views/advice on whether we should have my partners kids at our wedding. They are 7 & 9. They don't live with us, we have them on weekends.
We're having a small low key wedding. My problem is that if the kids come it means the ex dropping them off and picking them up. There is no way I am having her anywhere near my wedding. There is no one else really who could pick them up.
Also i don't like the idea of my DP's attention having to be split between me and his kids, its our wedding for gods sake! I think our wedding day should be the only day where we just think about each other. he says he doesn't know if he want's them there or not. There will be no other kids there either.

I'd really appreciate some advise/tips or anything you could offer.

Point is you shouldn't have had to it's stressful enough with pressure from the ex .

My dds weren't invited their dad's low key wedding and they've never really forgiven him. I'd find a way to make it work

I would invite them but sit them with their grandparents and ask grandparents if they'd mind being 'on duty' with the children for the day.

Obviously they will still be going back and forth from their dad and you, chatting, dancing etc, but for things like needing a wee, needing a drink, sitting down to eat their dinners, sitting through speeches, they will be with their GPs.

I'd ask someone neutral to meet ex outside the venue to hand them over and pick them up (assuming she agrees to do this - you may need to ask someone to drop them back to her, if that's reasonable in terms of distance).

Oh shit, just seen it's the zombiest of all zombies!! Apologies! Hope it worked out OP lol.

Crap dad if he doesn't want his kids at his wedding. Why the dad can't pick them up the night before if you don't want their mother near you.

I realise this children are adults now but I’m really invested!

if DP and I get married I think we would go away somewhere and do it by ourselves. I don’t think he would want his kids there (his older two were at his wedding to their mum 🤣) I’m not sure they would want to be at our wedding. One of mine would want to come, the other wouldn’t be that keen, so it would suit us all round. I hate weddings though so I would take any excuse to avoid having one!