STEP PARENTS REUNITED

[Guardianangel]

Whoa! there seems to be a few fiesty Mums out there who dont have a lot of time for us Step Mums. Its a shame because it spoils it for their children. If you are made to feel unimportant in their lives it kind of discourages you to try dont you think. After all you are only met with criticism!

Must come of being called an 'old car' by the 'new' one, do you think? I always think that positive attitudes like that must help in building a relationship so much.

HMB, you seem to forget, or maybe you hadnt read all the thread but I have been an old car!

GA you're the only stepmother on Mumsnet that I don't have a lot of time for.

If you really are a stepmother. I still think you're a father myself.

You cannot qualify that Caligula and I would keep your PERSONAL opinions to yourself.

Shan't.

You only think i'm a father because I have mastered the art of understanding how the male mind works. I am well read on the subject of how a man thinks and how children think too. Getting back to the devious & manipulative quote. It is well documented that a child at the age of 3 is able to quite fluently use these traits, learned from another.

Once you master how they tick, only then will things run smoothly. Lets face it women are so out of sorts with their emotions is it any wonder they find it difficult to deal with them rationally?

No, I think you're a father because in Tricks' thread, you basically put forward the view that if a couple splits up, the woman should accept whatever treatment for herself and her children her x chooses to dole out when it comes to maintenance and contact.

Call me a cynic, but that sounds like wishful thinking to me.

Sounds like a bloke to me

And also, your tone and language when talking about "women" in general is mysogynist.

Now many women may have absorbed mysogynistic attitudes - they are so common in our society - but it's unusual for someone to have such self-hatred that she so thoroughly identifies with such a hostile view of women.

I think women have lost the balance and tipped the scales too far. As a Woman what makes us more important than Men. What makes us think that we can demand just what we want when we want it. In the REAL world it doesnt work like that and for the life of me I cant work out who told us it does. All should be worked amicably to the best of all's ability. What we see is the woman shouting the odds and using the kids to boot. She invariably wants more than is sensible which in turn makes the man furious and reactive.

None of which is helpful for the children

GA I am a calm person who has not walked in the troubled waters of stepparenting. However I have followed your ramblings of the last few days on several threads and I am getting pretty fed up of the mysogynist spoutings.

This is a website for women to support and help other women and you are abusing that right now.

Please do us all a favour and take your anti-women clap trap somewhere else. You are not going to change minds or attitides here - you really are wasting your time!

If you have energy to spare then please take yourself off to F4j and try and convince the fathers there to take an active role in their children's upbringings and dump their baggage in the process. Maybe then some real progress can be made on this topic!

SB, my ramblings are ramblings to you because you havent experienced step parenting. Thank you for continuing the agressive stance on step parents your contribution is much appreciated.

See, there you go again. When you say "us" women, it jars. You are so obviously not one of "us".

"What we see is the woman shouting the odds and using the kids to boot. She invariably wants more than is sensible which in turn makes the man furious and reactive."

Sorry, that's not what "we" see. Go over to the lone parents thread and find out what we see.

And as far as I remember, you think £50 a week is sensible, irrespective of how much a man earns.

GA- my post has nothing to do with step-parenting. In the same way that this thread hasn't. It is just a vehicle for you to attract more attention for your unpalatable views.

I didnt mention any money did I? I recall mentioning that any one child would cost the same to keep so why should the 1st child have more than the child in the second family.

Soapbox you are wrong. They are unpalatable because you have not experienced them.

Message withdrawn

Well there is a lot of things I haven't experienced in life - wife-beating, racism, rape etc etc etc, that doesn't mean that I don't know when something is unpalatable does it?????

Im off to bed, would like to see step parents chiming in though.

I am a step-parent, and have been for many years, and I completely agree with Caligula and soapbox.

Message withdrawn

Why dont you all pop off and start your own thwarted x's thread and leave us lovely step mums to swap our own notes, theres good girls.

There you go GA - Tamum's just chimed!