Dont know who is being more selfish me or him.

[Squirrel3]

My grandad is quite literally on his death bed, the doctor has given him a couple of days at the most, dd's baby is probably going to be born at the same time. So this weekend is emotional to say the least, but DP wants to have his children this weekend anyway, I have got enough to deal with without dealing with his kids this weekend, I would like to be put first for once under the circumstances.

I feel like crap!!!!!!!!!!!

[Squirrel3]

It seems that my relationship might be going down the pan, dp is still not really talking to me, he is sleeping in the kids room and generally making my life even more miserable.

He say's that I was rude to his older kids when they turned up on Sunday ev. I'd just had enough, I tried really hard to keep it together all of the time the younger step children were here (I felt like curling up in a ball and crying most of the time) so I went upstairs to do just that when the older ones were here because I thought that they were old enough to understand (and they have just lost their grandad, so I thought they would understand, but I didn't want to re-new their grief by being upset in front of them)

When my dd turned up (in labour) her little boy (dgs) was crying (think he was a little bit frightened bless him) and dp told my dd it was probably be better if she just went and left him here!!!!!! I was furious and I actually shouted at him "how dare you tell her to go away, she is staying as long as she needs to, I am not going to send her home alone in labour". dd felt awful and said that if she was going to cause rows between us she would rather go home, I told her not to worry and I settled her into bed with her little boy in the bed next to her hoping that he would go to sleep. I then went downstairs and asked dp if we culd call a truce while she was here because she didn't need us arguing when she was about to bring a new life into the world!!! Thankfully he agreed and things went ok.

The truce didn't last long though dp doesn't understand that its doulbly hard for me to lose gd as my grandparents were the only people who loved me as a child, I only ever felt safe when I was with them. Also I'm having to deal with my mother at the same time (and she has made it quite clear to me all of my life that she hates me).

I feel so alone, I am dealing with this all on my own with no support, when I met dp he promised me that I would never have to cope with things on my own again (I'd been single for 12 years, my decision for various reasons) and here I am, I've never felt so alone in my life.

Sorry this has been so long and emotional, it just helps to 'talk' 'write it all down'.

[SadSam]

Hi Squirrel, I just wanted to say I am so sorry for everything you are going through at the moment. Congratulations for being a granny, what have they called her?

With regards to your grandfather I am so sorry to hear how ill he is and I am sorry your DP is not supporting you in your time of need. I do believe your DP is being very selfish and I am very angry that you are being made to deal with that on top of everything else you are having to go through.

Im sorry I dont know what else to say to help, but please keep in touch on here. I am off sick for 4 weeks at the moment but will try and look in on here as often as possible.

Take care xxx