I could just scream and throw in the towel.

[squirrel3]

I am having a really tough time in my personal life (see thread feeling really sad and alone in the relationships section) and BM has just kicked off again!!

Its SS's birthday Sunday and we were supposed to be having them this weekend. DP of course is happy about having SS on his birthday and we have planned the day so that he will have a really great day.

Now DP is a builder and the firm have got to do some up-to-date police checks and they needed to know when DP had left the marital (or to be more accurate thrown out of the marital home so that she could move the 'paper-boy' in) so DP, (having a memory like a sieve) phoned the ex today to ask her if she could remember the date. I was in the room so I can honestly say he tried to ask as sensitively as he could. They have been split-up for 6 years now so it shouldn't really be a sore subject, but she went completely off the deep end and started calling him all the names under the sun, then she started accusing him of sleeping with me whilst they were still together and generally going mad!!! I didn't even meet DP until they had been separated for two years, so I don?t know how we were supposed to be sleeping with each other!!!!!!!

Anyway she has now decided that the Skids will not be spending the weekend with us and she is asking for more money for the Skids up-keep. DP provides very well for his kids, but she insists that they wear designer clothes all of the time (even to play in the park or to kick a football around), whilst we are struggling to manage financially at the moment because I am re-training and I'm only bringing in a small wage.

My life is in bits at the moment and I could do without all of this, feel like walking away and just letting them get on with it!!!!!!

hi,have been reading your messages for a while .i thought it was only me who had the step kids from hells and their BM ..well its along story.
been with my dp for 2 years. ive got 3 kids and he's got 2. boy and girl ages now 7 and 8.
always been trouble between him and her but when he moved in with me it just escalated out of control.
kids were horrible to me and my kids. breaking toys, destroying stuff etc. she accused us of not feeding them , smacking them shouting at them when they had done nothing wrong. she is remarried by the way but liked the idea of having a babysitter on hand whenexer she want ed one.came to a head when DP couldnt take sd to school one day cause he was at work. fight broke out outside bm house. police were called and she accused dp of assaulting his own daughter.case wasnt proved. she stopped him seeing the kids. then our car was smashed up outside the house by two mwn with sledgehammers. dp was followed from work and threatened by bm husband.finlaly they arrived at our house when we had got a new car and threatened my dp with a gun.
they were taken to court but found not guilty because a gun wasnt found on them when they were arrested. while this was going on i was pregnant with my ds .had my baby in june last year.. started receiving phonecalls (number had been changed) from bm and found out that she worked in the hospital where my sin was born and had gone on my medical file and obtained all my personal data. made a compliant and she was sacked a few months ago.... my dp has not seen his children for over a year now and we are still having problems from thieir bm.
long story i know ..

Oh Joec, and I thought I had it bad, at least I haven't been threatened with a gun!!!

Sorry, I havent got any advice for you but I hope things quieten down for you, and I'm sure that when the Skids are older they will see their BM for what she is and they will try to make contact with their father themselves.

It may be an idea to make sure that you get them birthday/Christmas cards (maybe small gifts) each year, even if you can't give them to the Skids now your DP could give them to them when they do get in touch, just to show them that they were thought of every day and not forgotten. I'm sure it would mean a lot to them, maybe your DP could put letters in saying how much he is missing them grow up and how much he wishes he was able to be there for them etc.

I don't know if this helps but I do feel for you and your DP.

Welcome to the site joec. So sorry to hear what you have been going through. Like Squirrel said, we thought we had it bad. My problems fade into insignificance up to what you have been through.

Havent got any advice except to say that my thoughts are with you, and please keep talking on here. Trust me it really does help, you can let off steam about anything with people who really understand and care. xx