Dear OP, my heart truly goes out to you. I can only imagine how frightening and exhausting it must be to feel unsafe in your own home. Other posters are right that some of your answers are unclear, because understanding the full picture helps people give you the most accurate and helpful advice. I’m not sure why some are asking about your expenses; that doesn’t seem relevant to the immediate issue.
First, I hope “Donna” is not your wife’s real name. You should never use real names here, yours or anyone else, and it’s best to avoid sharing too many identifying details such as your profession. Protecting your privacy is important, especially in a situation like this.
I know it doesn’t help to say this now, but agreeing to have your wife’s adult son move in was a mistake. At this point, though, the focus has to be on your safety and your options moving forward.
You mentioned that you’ve already spoken with a lawyer, which was a very smart step. I would strongly suggest not telling your wife about that conversation for now, as it could escalate things if she shares it with her son. If you genuinely fear for your safety, please consider contacting the police, they may be able to advise you on next steps or help you create a safety plan.
I truly hope you find a resolution soon. You’ve worked hard, and you deserve to feel safe and at peace in your own home.