DP has a 50/50 split with his ex wife (not court ordered agreed amicably) and day to day communication between everyone is fairly basic but normal and things plod along. I am not heavily involved in their parenting arrangements as it’s not my place, but DP will obviously vent to me sometimes and I see where he is coming from. Technically there is no reason to communicate as much as they have to, but because of the issues below this creates more reason for contact because it’s chaotic and disorganised
I assume people will assume there is more to the story about their marriage and DP was some kind of ogre but he never likes to rock the boat or cause inconvenience to anyone.
- She is always late for arranged pick ups/drop offs with no communication to let him know. This can leave us, and/or the DC sitting around waiting
- She leaves DP’s messages unread for hours even days sometimes (once a whole week) including ignoring his calls but will double or triple text him and call him when it suits her. DP says she did this to him when they were married as well, yet is always stuck to her phone 24/7
- She interrupts and disrupts DP’s time with the DC constantly. He does not disrupt hers.
- She changes plans all the time at the last minute or interprets them in her own way to benefit her. An example I can give is that if we say pick up is after work, she will be vague about the time so it drags it out and you can’t make proper arrangements such as cooking food or being in the right place at the right time
- She forgets all the kids stuff all the time so they never have the things they need
- She will never give proper info it’s always vague and non commital and doesn’t answer direct questions
- She doesn’t follow their agreement of how to add her plans to the family calendar then blames DP for ‘forgetting’ them (when they aren’t in the diary and she instigated them)
- She wants to know all of DP’s travel plans with the DC but ignores any requests for the same info in return
She has her own partner FYI. Since DP and I have got more serious over the years, I feel like this is getting worse. I suspect she might be feeling a bit threatened by my presence? I don’t know. DP is doing very well for himself in life, we have our life together, strong unit and I get on great with the kids.
DP is often frustrated and disappointed, almost like he is a 2nd class person/citizen whereas he is an equally involved parent who does his equal share of parenting (without my assistance). I don’t know what I can do to help as I find myself getting frustrated too.