Is it due to the lack of resources?
I know Mumsnet is particularly touchy when it comes to speaking poorly of parents; especially mums. But this is so on going now it’s extremely frustrating.
I have watched my step daughters care and basic needs just decrease over the years and it’s just so sad. Mum will not engage with dad (my husband) whatsoever. They use a family app to communicate after my husband took her to court for some other issues. She ignores all messages (sometimes doesn’t even read them). Step daughter is just 12.
My step daughter is hugely overweight, she comes to us utterly filthy, white socks that are black and holey, orange teeth, underwear soiled, recently got her first bras but didn’t take her for a measurement; so I did and she’s wearing the totally wrong size (by inches; it must have been so uncomfortable), then the bra she came down in was grime covered with bodily oils on the straps. Her hair is long and knotted. Attendance at school is poor, assessments and reports are mostly all below average. It just goes on and on. Screen time on her phone is 70 hours on average a week; this is while she’s in school too. No parental locks etc. Has been getting taxis alone since she was 10 to go to places which are a 15/20 min walk as mum won’t walk with her. She hangs out in town until late. Mum has been leaving her alone at nights to go to the pub and ordering Domino’s for her dinner while she’s there etc. She also slept on the floor for over a year on a thin mattress and when we sent a bed to her on delivery she refused to take it in.
Mum I think needs help and educating hugely. I do think she’s doing the best that she can but these things are growing more and more out of control and it’s just so sad. I have bought a load of socks, knickers and new bras for her to take home so she has some clean ones which aren’t holey or dirty.
I know this is going to be seen as me bashing the mum but it really isn’t, we are in utter despair and are just so sad it’s on going.
Mediation doesn’t work, court; husband got what he went for which was not to do with any of this as CAFCASS didn’t seem it was necessary.
The whole issue also is that she moved 250 miles away so now we don’t see her weekly anymore and I think that is the biggest factor; as we aren’t seeing her as much as we did before. We get all holidays, half terms etc and share Christmas/New Year. We would see her more often if we financially and logistically could.