Partner doesnt see kids enough is it a massive red flag

[Srepmum1984]

I am with someone who has 3 kids from a past relationship. They are 11 15 and 7.

We have been together for about a year and I have met his oldest two twice but not the little one yet.

He texts them everyday. They reply.

However there's been a few weeks where they have wanted to see friends etc so he hasn't seen them now for about two months. His youngest is severely disabled and he has not checked in on him or asked about him via his other kids for about 3 months now! I am starting to get very concerned about this as he is wanting to try for a baby. He's been uninvited to hospital appointments etc but if that were me I'd be turning up anyway. But he doesn't seem bothered.

The ex is I have seen myself insane (we will arrange a trip to take them out and she will stop it last minute and then text something like hope you didn't waste too much money with a winky smiley)

The older two I get. They want to start seeing friends etc. But he missed one of their first days at school because he forgot. It was high school though and I didn't think that was acceptable.

I have asked him this week if he's seeing the kids this weekend and he said they haven't asked to see me. Surely it should be him asking them? I asked what would happen if they don't come out again and all he said was they can find him once they're older.

He pays their mum £1000 a month for the three of them and sends the kids money when they ask. But it seems like they now only really contact him when they want something.

I knew him from before and we a fantastic dad. But now he just doesn't seem to care.

The ex is I have seen myself insane (we will arrange a trip to take them out and she will stop it last minute and then text something like hope you didn't waste too much money with a winky smiley)

Yup she’s clearly insane. Did you ever stop to consider she’s just had enough? The “insane” ex is always mad isn’t she?

He pays their mum £1000 a month for the three of them

The amount he pays is none of your business.

You’ll be the next “insane” one and if you dare ask for money to support HIS children his next partner will be whining at the amount he pays too.

Run

OP, if you want to have a complete selfish loser for your childs father, crack on.
Otherwise dump.
His poor children, what a loser.

I think you've already got there but just to confirm that you're right... This man is not good father material, if you do want to have a child find someone better to be the dad.

What a dreadful man. Are you going to keep dating him?!

I'm going out on a limb here but I would not want to have children with someone who already has 3 kids. 3 is a lot to afford. Your children's lives will be negatively affected by his first family financially.

When someone is showing you who they are… believe them.

He is showing you that he is a callous and pathetic excuse of a father. DO NOT procreate with him.

I'm not whining about how much he pays? I'm just stating that he at the very least does pay her?

Take it as a red flag, your future could end up similar to ex and his dc. He sounds feckless and uninterested.

This is an absolute no brainer to dump this man today.

But. More than that. This is obvious. Blindingly obvious.

The fact that you aren't quite sure says you need to do somr serious work on spotting obvious red flags before rushing through to your next partner.

He sounds like a lazy piece of shit. Has a severely disabled child that he doesn't even see, let alone even check in on?

You've been going out for only a year, and you are coming along on days out with them? Days he has with his children that seem few and far between? Why is he taking his girlfriend? Why isn't he spending this time 121 with his kids?

Why are you even considering having a child with someone you've only been with a year? And why would you even consider having a child with this pathetic excuse for a father?