The straw that broke the camel’s back part two - the thread with the happy ending (hopefully!)

[JH20000]

Part two.

London trip was amazing and the show was great!

Have you spoken to a solicitor about getting him to stop contacting you?

Just wanted to add, ask yourself this question:

What person in their right mind gets engaged so quickly? It's just such an irrational thing to do it's laughable.

This man is dangerous and unwell. I don't think you have really processed how dysfunctional the situation was. These are not the actions of a normal, balanced individual.

I agree with PPs it sounds like you're traumatised from what's happened and you can't see this situation clearly.

he’s hoping the current one will be distracted enough by a shiny bauble & a slippery constantly moving promise to not notice the hook and line underneath

he is impatiently waiting on reeling the current one in for complete capture

and being as frustrated as fuck having had all his previous ‘work’ thwarted, all he can do is slap the water around him or chuck stones at ‘the one that got away’

just keep swimming, preferably towards help to patch you up & deal with the trauma

as pp alluded to, there’s no rage quite like impotent rage, so take advice on how best to further protect yourself

Ah for fuck sake I hate emotions. Drove past ex and his girlfriend today holding hands. Not sure why but I ended up crying in a car park over it.

I feel silly, I’m now dating again and have very very recently met someone with potential, why am I crying?!

Because you are human, and he hurt you very deeply . You will heal but such deep wounds need to heal from the inside out .

Because he has emotionally abused you. Isn’t he shagging loads of women now anyway (snort) so they’re not exactly the perfect couple. Even if he’s lying it still doesn’t reflect well on their relationship.

Looking back at old threads and found this and wondered how you were doing now OP

Yes I often think about you @JH20000 and hope that you have moved on and are doing well 💐

I am sorry but you've had a lucky escape. Those children will be as vile as ever, if not worse. They are hardly going to be the dux of their school or doing a Duke of Edinburgh's Award are they? Is the girlfriend/fiancé getting to share him with all his polyamorous partners? Honestly you probably wouldn't want to know exactly where that hand had been. Perhaps she will make them her bridesmaids and have some raucous party at a strip club. I am betting the ring is probably goldplated.

I once pined over some man and bored all my friends and family talking about him and, in retrospect, it was a lucky escape. He too eventually married somebody else. He was nothing special - and he was at least rich with no children (but had plenty of other shortcomings). Once one of my friends was going out with some man who dumped her and promptly won multi millions in a lottery and she said she didn't even grieve the money because it wouldn't be worth putting up with him (and when she read the newspaper article she discovered that the delighted winner and his "childhood" sweetheart partner had been together when she was going out with him).

I think you just have to keep going forward - one step at a time - and it gradually fades. I met my wonderful husband who was a better man in every way - well maybe not the money at that stage. My husband made my life so much better in many ways and I hope your new man does that for you

Thank you for the comments asking how I am!

I am doing well thank you. I’m actually with someone now and he proposed recently so it all ended well on my side. We are currently in the midst of wedding planning! He’s a million times better than my ex so it really has worked out for me. There’s no drama, no arguments or crap and it’s what a decent relationship should feel like. Knowing what I know now I wish I had left my ex way before I did!

As for ex, I don’t know what he’s up to these days and I frankly don’t care. Myself and partner did see him in the supermarket a few weeks ago though and he noticed us and scuttled out looking embarrassed 😂 it was quite funny if I’m honest.

thanks for asking!!

Wow, what a big turnaround! Congratulations @JH20000 you deserve every happiness that comes your way. I confess you are one of a few posters who I occasionally think about and hope you've finally found peace so I'm really glad you've updated with such amazing news ❤🍾

That’s brilliant news! You deserve someone who treats you well!

@JH20000 I've been having a bit of a shitty day today but your update has put a huge grin on my face!

You'd better keep us updated on your wedding etc and a huge congratulations for making a lovely life that you've always deserved 🎉

Wow! So glad I asked. Nice to have a genuinely happy outcome.

Wow! So glad I asked. Nice to have a genuinely happy outcome.

Well done!!!!

Aw thanks to you all. You’re all so lovely.

I honestly wasn’t expecting to be updating saying I was getting married. We had discussed it casually but he then proposed and it was all very nice indeed. It definitely feels right and we’re very stable together and I feel like a different person.

I did actually spend some time this afternoon looking through this and the previous thread. I look at it and think why didn’t I leave the second it all went to shit?! I am glad the thread stayed up though as hopefully it may offer comfort if someone comes across it and is in a similar situation. Things do get better.

I also want to say I’ve had lots of therapy since and that has helped. I’ve unpicked a few issues I had which stemmed from childhood and the therapy gave me an outlet to talk about it all.

Thank you all 🥳

So delighted for you OP.
I really hope you will be very happy.
He's a lucky man.

Congratulations - I am so glad everything has worked out for you

Congratulations

Oh wow what an amazing update 😍 I’m so thrilled for you. It was clear in your threads that you were such a lovely kind woman, who deserved so much better. I’m so pleased that the universe has delivered karma ❤️