The straw that broke the camel’s back part two - the thread with the happy ending (hopefully!)

[JH20000]

Part two.

London trip was amazing and the show was great!

He has deliberately sought you out so i would message back just once more.

"I have blocked you on all platforms as I do not wish to hear from you anymore. Do not contact me again. If you do I will be forced to get the police involved as any future messages will be deemed harassment which is a criminal offence ".

And then block.

That's most likely why he's done it. Remember, you've heard what is actually going on with his kids now from an independent party so you know he's lying.

Happy, healthy people don't reach out to their exes, unprompted, to lie about their life.

Take a step back and a breather, remind yourself that his idea of what is good or flourishing for those kids is far below society's standards and that his opinion is truly worthless.

I would go to the solicitors and get a letter sent out that you consider any further contact harassment and you will pass it to the police, and if he needs to contact you it can be through them.
I wouldn’t email him back, I would never engage with him ever again.

He is lying to upset you. Don’t let him.

Do you need to feel the need to message him to tell him you are happier now, no, because you’re a normal person, who is actually happy.

If that was truly the case, he wouldn't feel need to send you a email telling you.

Also from an independent source you know it not to be true.

Some men can't take responsibility and have to blame the nearest female, and sadly some women do the same.

I would be tempted to send a email back saying "oh I'm so pleased it's worked out for you all. I hope you and (insert exs name) have the life you all deserve.

Now please piss off and go take your drama else where or I will contact the police as this is harassment."

But I'm a scarky bitch and honestly no contact will eventually mean he will get bored.

He wants to drag you into defending yourself and you don't need to do that

It feels never ending doesn’t it? There’s no coincidence that he’s sent this not long after I met the new man. I’ve had to double check my social media and that it’s locked down in case he’s been trying to have a nosy on a new profile (I would not put it past him sadly!)

I have left the email as it is currently but he got what he wanted which was to cause some upset in me. I know deep inside the BS he is spouting is not true, but it feels as if he’s still trying to make out like I was this awful monster. It is laughable but still hurts.

It does make me laugh that he has gone to the extreme of making a new email address and writing out an essay on his children. His current relationship set ups must be utterly shit for him to do that 😂

Can you be sure that no "friends" are slipping info to him, or they don't have open social media accounts so he's getting snippets like that?

I actually think his Father's Day is shit 😂 hence lashing out.

He has likely gotten wind of your new relationship and is so pissed off.

Respond with.
DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN.
I AM INFORMING THE POLICE OF YOUR HARASSMENT OF ME TODAY.

And ring 101 to lodge his HARASSMENT of you.
He is scum.
Please do not pay him any attention but do log it with the police.
Tell them he is unhinged and you are afraid of him.
You have got this.

See, I’d have to reply. At this point I’d be petty as fuck.

So either

“who is this?”

or

“your children are feral and fucked up. We both know this. Absolute scum who will end up in jail whilst you’re enjoying your 15 girlfriends. No need to contact me again”

“ or send back an out of office type “xxx is currently available away on holiday. I will get back to you when I get back from LA”

Or a simple “what the fuck are you on about now”

I am hungover or is think of something better. But I’d have to reply, but totally get if you don’t want to. What a cunt

If he was happy he wouldn't have time for this crap. Stop reading what he sends. You don't need to engage or give this any headspace given the house has been sold. You know you're not a monster. You also know he, his ex are trash who have failed their kids who are also frankly trash.

Perhaps one email telling him not to contact you either directly, or via third parties failing which you'll be reporting him and anyone that collaborates with him to the police for harassment.

Whilst this has crossed my mind I have rid myself of his family on social media and we didn’t have many mutual friends. None of our mutual friends are on my social media either.

He definitely has wind of the new man though as he ended the email with the fact one of his partners has a 6 bedroom house, as if to try and make me jealous 🙄

Imagine emailing your ex partner when you’re supposedly happy to tell her you’re dating someone who has a 6 bedroom house. Does he want a medal?! 😂

Anyone who was relieved about their break-up and having the time of their lives afterwards, would not waste their time making up new emails to message their ex to tell them how happy they now are 😂

He is miserable, and furious that you dared to leave him. So is is trying to wind you up. He knows how to push your buttons.

I would highly recommend that you message him something like:

”Please do not contact me ever again, I do not wish to have any further contact with you. Should you message me again I will report you to the police for harassment.”

He is obviously not happy, the life he thought he would have without you has not materialised. He probably does not have many women or, if he does, they do not last more than a date or two.
Children with the sort of behaviour problems you have described, do not miraculously, and suddenly, turn into angels. For their behaviour to improve the way they are parented has to improve and that hasn't happened.
He isn't living his best life but needs you to believe that he is.
The man is a moron.
I was going to say the same as pp - tell him to back off or you will report him for harassment but, on reflection, I think if you do he will know that he has pushed your buttons. Do not give him that satisfaction continue to ignore him and build your new life.

He protests way too much! If he's going to these lengths to tell you about his wonderful life, it more than likely means his life isn't so wonderful.

His reasoning for contacting you is one of the following:

1. He wants you back (more than likely)
2. He wants revenge (definitely this one,his aim is to make you suffer)
3. To derail any future plans, partners you have (likely)

He's clearly a miserable vengeful person, to me these pathetic emails would make me think wow I've had a lucky escape!

Put this email him in the trash bin where he belongs!

Re read your posts again and again to make you see he is so horrible and never ever treated you with basic decency.

I would consider composing a reply along the lines of "how wonderful you and ex wife how sorted your parenting out the DC have had such a U turn in their lives I really hope they go from strength to strength now I am gone. However, moving forward I will consider ANY contact from you as harassment which the police have confirmed it is.

Then go through with getting a non-mol if you can. Any chance he is stalking you?

Yes what @RandomMess said perfect

Being ignored will annoy him more than any reply..
After all aren't you too busy moving forward?

I wouldn't actually respond. Your silence is killing him - hence why he sends crap like that.

The best revenge is a life well lived.

Keep the email for now. If he contacts you again, I'd consider going to the police.

But for now, see this for what it is. Pathetic.

You can do this. Stay strong.

I read some of your previous thread, @JH20000, but lost track of it. I am so glad to see that you are free of the situation, and that things are happier for you.

Please respond and tell him his constant contact is harassment of you and is unacceptable and that in future you will inform the police.

You have to have told people their actions are unacceptable before the police can prosecute otherwise they can claim they didn't know it upset you🤦‍♀️
I was told this recently by a police officer when I discussed someone who was harassing me.

And as for the 6 bedroom house...my Aunt had an 8 bedroom house as she had so many children and then blended families but it was Housing Association property. Bragging about the number of bedrooms means nothing.

He really is the gift that keeps on giving😂

Omg, please don't be hurt. I laughed (bitter sweet) when I read this. Only because I'm "you" 5 years on.

Oh he'll be doing fabulously without you. Because that's all he's got left to bullshit about now. They aren't doing fabulously. He's furious. His life is significantly harder.

The other thing you will hear about how fabulous his life is without you, is how "everyone else thinks so too". I only tell you this so when you hear it, which you will, you will think of me being able to predict it word for word rather than giving any credit to it.

You fuel his contact if you reply.

He is so pathetic and delusional. You of course will not respond but it can’t hurt to draft some in your head. ‘Fascinating. I think you’ve put more time into writing this email about your kids than you did into parenting them the whole 3 years we were together’ or ‘i guess it must have just been someone who looked a lot like your ds high outside the local the other day’
‘And are these multiple women in the room with you right now?’ (But he wouldn’t get that one anyway) Don’t send anything!!

OP, I'm so pleased you got away from that absolute arsehole.

I'm glad you had a lovely time with your new guy too.

I agree with the others re not replying. No good will come of it and silence is the best response.

I would ignore his message. Grey rock.

I ignored the email in the end 😁 I was in two minds whether to send a final leave me be message but in the end a few days went past and I couldn’t be bothered to engage.

Sadly new man in my life has gone very quiet on me so I think I may be being slow faded. He doesn’t really know much about the ex so it can’t be that but I’m a bit gutted. Feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight 🥲