Meeting the ex wife - practical advice

[Hotchocnomarshmallows]

Practical advice please. What can I do to make this easier? Make me feel less nervous and that I am a downgrade or not as good

She has requested an introduction and I understand it’s the right thing to do. We don’t cross over week to week because of her work. There will be a crossover at the end of April so I want to be prepared. I’m ND and can be a bull in a china shop or panic and say stupid things. I want to be calm and in control 😩

I have no direct experience of this but smiling, making eye contact and saying something complimentary about the children will help a lot - 'you have lovely children, they are a credit to you'

My stepson is having a baby shower with around 20 mixed guests. The ex whom I have never met in 21 yrs will be there. From the outset she was toxic. She deliberately cancelled access days on a whim. Countless calls in the middle of the night because child needed urgent hospital treatment when in reality it was eg a cold or a sprained ankle , and her father with whom she lived had a car. Referred to me via solicitor, during divorce in very as an amoral person. I cannot forgive her for the threats towards her son if she knew he was with me and how she was going to call the Police or Social services because her son was a bit cheeky to her. He was a very mild mannered shy child with little confidence who she reduced to tears with her threats. The son used to be physically sick after access visits due to the impending interrogation from Mum, which my partner overheard one time. Suffice to say, I really don't want to go if she's there, and neither does my partner, but I also would want to be there for my stepson and GF.

I'm an ex-wife, met my ex's new partner and shes really nice. Great with the kids. We get on well and have had a few convos around work and stuff. Not all ex wives are total cows! (j/k)
Seriously, just meet her, have a polite conversation.

I’m an ex wife and also a SM who was ordered by court to meet a high conflict ex…I did it at drop off and just got out the car said hi I’m Vie nice to meet you dsc has some cake for you and your ds in her bag (we had done early birthday celebrations) and she proceeded to scream in my face about dp so I just said I’m not here for this I’ve met you now goodbye and got back in the car. My exh and I have a much more reasonable relationship and I have met his new partner naturally at handovers and just said hi how are you, have you had a nice weekend and that’s been it just standard pleasantries is fine. Good luck sounds like you will have an experience more like I have with my ex rather than what I had with my dps ex!

The problem is she's not very nice, despite having 500k, refused to help her son with a mortgage because she needs the money for her nursing home when the time comes.