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Step-parenting

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15 year old step daughter is way beyond abusive

112 replies

Sparkle2023 · 05/11/2023 22:12

long post I have 15 and 17 year old stepdaughters. The elder is wonderful; respectful, kind and gentle. The youngest is without doubt a problem child. I have known her since she was 8 years old. Very spoilt, never corrected, never told no. I said years ago to my husband that she needed boundaries otherwise there will be trouble ahead. Fast forward to now and she has no respect, tells her teachers to fuck off, had 17 detentions and didnt go to 15 of them. Even CAM and an independent counselor have washed their hands of her because she doesnt engage. Her father (my husband) is a naturally agressive man and verbally attacks me and uses his physical size to scare me, his daughter now does the same. Because she openly drinks he buys her bottles of vodka the weekends she is with us and when I try to say it's wrong how much she is drinking he says it's nothing to do with me. His brother dies of alcoholism and he is a very aggressive drunk personality. Tonight we had an horrendous argument with the 15 year old saying 'we all know you're fucking mad' shouting at me, being beyond disrespectful (no words can describe how bad it was) the husband stood next to her and balled me down, whilst she stood there smirking at me.

I feel abused, broken, lonely and then to be told I have no say in my home (I pay 50%)

I've tried reasoning with him, I've tried to explain how i feel, etc. However the bottom line is he is a narcissist and sociopath and he just wont listen or see my side.

What do I do? 😥

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/11/2023 13:52

Speak to rights of women about getting an occupation order due to his aggressiveness, I would absolutely phone the police the next time either of them are threatening you.

rainbowstardrops · 06/11/2023 14:20

If the house is in your name but you're married, I'd suggest getting professional legal advice asap.
You need these people out of your life.

MissyPea · 06/11/2023 14:24

hattie43 · 06/11/2023 08:28

My god . Why on earth put up with this . Make plans to leave .

It’s her house! She needs plans for them to be removed and kept removed.

Acornsoup · 06/11/2023 14:28

You can always maintain a relationship with the 17yo DSD. It really sounds like she needs a positive role model to stay in her life Flowers

Whattodo112222 · 06/11/2023 14:31

Your only option is to leave

Whatonearth07957 · 06/11/2023 17:55

You'll need to start divorce proceedings and liaise with police so you call each and every time you are threatened in your home. So sorry op but it may be he will be entitled to a share of the home.

CoopeyMum · 07/11/2023 17:26

Leave, leave, leave! Leave right now & don't look back 😱

Acornsoup · 07/11/2023 18:26

OP are you worried he will break in if you change the locks? That's not good and a matter for the police to deal with if/when it happens. Can you get a door cam and an electronic keypad for entry?

Acornsoup · 07/11/2023 18:34

Women's aid can do a risk assessment with you and can liaise with the local police. They can help you make a plan to get him out of your house OP. You may need to get a non-molestation order, which protects you from abuse or harassment. The order can also prevent him coming to your house. There is also an occupation order where the court decide who should live in the home. If it's only yours that will be you. You can also usually get some free legal advice from any solicitor. Speak to women's aid first and find out what you need to ask. It's hard, it's just the start but your life could be so much better Daffodil

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/11/2023 18:50

You'll need to start divorce proceedings. Don't do this until you've spoken to Womensaid and you've got a Non-Molestation Order in place.

As I understand the new Divorce procedure, if you start proceedings now, he will likely get a email very quickly and you probably know that the time you are most at risk is when you are planning to leave.

If you haven't already, please do contact Womensaid tonight Flowers

Happylady56 · 09/12/2023 18:29

Leave, sounds as though you need to get out before you get hurt.xx

Mumofthreeteenagers · 12/02/2024 18:09

Leave.
Call social services to try and save that child

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