Agreed, but only of the scummiest of parents would do this.
No decent parent would ever dream of telling their child that another adult in their life doesn't give a shit about them.
The most appalling behaviour but with parents like the OP describes, really hardly surprising.
Only the really lowest of the low hurt and confuse their own children all to score points off an ex's new partner.
It speaks to their complete failure as parents and their utter selfishness as adults.
I really hope the OP wakes up to the toxicity she is collateral damage to.
Neither of those parents could care less about her OR the children.
Focused on doing as little as possible themselves, and using her as a total mug if they can bully and tantrum her into acquiescence.
These are just the type that would expect grandparenting childminding duties from her.
My old friend has retired recently from a long busy career in teaching a few years early, having received a substantial inheritance from her parents a couple of years ago.
She had barely put away her pens when her partners daughter who has never given her the time of day, TOLD her that it will be helpful if she shares childminding duties with her mother!
She is with her partner 5 years, but kept her own lovely home.
Her son lives in Australia, and she was genuinely stunned at the suggestion.
Que outrage that she wouldn't want to pitch in🙄.
Even her partner had the temerity to mention she could maybe help a bit.
The same man who excused his daughter's choice to only politely tolerate her over the years.
She gifted her son money so that space for them to visit was factored into his purchase of a home in Melbourne.
She intends to visit and enjoy retirement without any ties on her time.
Certainly not the ties of childminding the children of someone she has only the most distant of relationships with.
Her partners ex wife unsurprisingly thought it was a great idea.🤔🙄
My friend feels little real interest in her partners grandchild as she has seen the baby only briefly , as she has only ever had a polite relationship with his two daughters, completely their choice.
Her partner was divorced and single for years when they met.
She told him he is welcome to look after HIS grandchild, but she will not be tied down in any way.
Of course his face was a picture at THAT suggestion!
She thinks the entitlement is absolutely hilarious, she has great boundaries, but it has cemented her decision to not remarry nor share a home, despite being very fond of her partner.
Her friends have all warned her to be wary of being imposed upon for any caring duties.
Unfortunately men of a certain age do like to try and reel in a nice woman to mind them as they age.
I know of several women in their 60's that have met such men via the golf club.
All have given a hard swerve on remarrying or leaving their lovely homes.
Simply not worth it.