DSS's mum blocking school choice - how best to support

[Steppen]

DSS has always been a very bright boy. His mum has insists the very rough secondary modern he attends is fine for him. DSS has been beaten up several times for being 'too clever for his own good'. He now avoids speaking in class as much as he can. He has no friends and is physically quite a small boy. We asked DSS if he wanted to consider moving schools for 6th form and he agreed he wanted to look. He has passed the entrance exams for 2 very academic may selective private schools and assuming he gets 7s in his GCSEs he will have secured a place at both schools. His mum is completely against him switching schools and thinks "a bright child will do well anywhere". We've told DSS the decision is entirely his but I can see how much pressure he is feeling and is likely to stay where he is just to please his mum. How hard would you try to show him how much of a chance this is for him?

Changechangechanging · 17/02/2023 00:52
Why did your partner not discuss this with mum before attending open days and sitting entrance exams? Schooling is something that is covered by parental responsibility, you shouldn’t just have pushed her to one side because you can afford a fee paying 6th form. It’s easy to see why she might dig her heels“

Dig her heels in? It would be an incredibly self-centred and petulant mother who put her irritation ahead of her son’s happiness and progress, when he has expressed the wish to move schools. OP has already said that she and her husband will be covering costs.

FFS - read the OP's posts

To change, not Skyler

The father didn't want to go to court "because it wouldn't be good to be in the middle of a legal battle...".
My interpretation: "dad was too lazy to go into a legal battle and show his son there was someone fighting for his interests". How will this boy feel when he realises the adults in his life couldn't be bothered to have his back?
In my opinion, the best outcome would be: father confronts the mother, makes the decision to change schools (this should not be in the shoulders of a 16yo) and tells the mother to go to court if she wants.
I'm sad that no one is (really) standing for this boy.

It would be an incredibly self-centred and petulant mother who put her irritation ahead of her son’s happiness and progress, when he has expressed the wish to move schools

He's been in his current school nearly 5 years. What has his dad done to support him? What discussions has he had with the school about the bullying? Has he challenged the quality of teaching? Has he attended parent's evenings and actually had discussions with staff about what is going on for his son? What has he done to support his son's happiness and progress?

Changechangechanging

He's been in his current school nearly 5 years. What has his dad done to support him? What discussions has he had with the school about the bullying? Has he challenged the quality of teaching? Has he attended parent's evenings and actually had discussions with staff about what is going on for his son? What has he done to support his son's happiness and progress?“

Her 16 year old son wants to move to a better school for Sixth Form. That’s what matters now.